Intimacy: Unwanted guest

Unwanted guest

By MMM - 21/01/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 574

You deserved it 11 473

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The all-seeing eye

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 328

You deserved it 5 796

Not now, mother!

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 04:00 - United States - Sayville

Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 201

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 791

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 05:33 - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 044

You deserved it 9 021

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 254

You deserved it 5 021

Double betrayal

By iwannagointothewoods - 13/11/2023 23:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is cheating on me. With my mother. They were doing it for almost a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 131

By mommydearest - 04/09/2011 16:08 - Denmark

Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 337

You deserved it 4 121

Cougartown

By Anonymous - 28/08/2022 02:00

Today, my boyfriend snuck out of my room so he could have sex with my mom in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 178

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 540

You deserved it 48 714

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 806

You deserved it 18 371

doubledutchy 15

Wednesday 22 January 2014 11:00

This is actually quite useful now that you know that OP. Now you can either make your mother go to crazy places, or better yet, have fun having sex in crazy places. Twist the negative side into something you can benefit from!

anonymous_kenie 7

Wednesday 22 January 2014 11:03

Sounds like its time to start fooling your mother with spoofed text messages

Comments

Mortoli 30

Saturday 25 January 2014 21:18

Go for plan B... Might be old school but it will work... Call your girl...

Iamlegendfuckyou 3

Saturday 25 January 2014 21:20

Set a password :) I hope you aren't sharing Imessages

Defecately 18

Sunday 26 January 2014 13:29

You know... you can lock your phone...

danimal_crackerz 26

Tuesday 25 August 2015 12:58

I'm assuming OP means on a computer. If you are on a parents phone plan, they can log onto their account with the provider and read any texts sent by a child's phone

pamari25 5

Thursday 6 February 2014 11:00

If you have a smart phone, download wickr. It's an app that lets you text, take pics and vids and they self destruct after between 3 secs-6 days. AND it's more secure than snapchat. When it self destructs the message, it REALLY self destructs

samm6697 9

Sunday 10 August 2014 21:32

Thwarted?

kathie_bunny 14

Sunday 31 May 2015 14:39

Just text her and say "so,what are you getting for my moms surprise party?"

danimal_crackerz 26

Tuesday 25 August 2015 12:56

If you have IOS, then get an app like text free for thAt, as pathetic as it sounds

BloodyGlass 10

Sunday 26 June 2016 0:09

Well, just keep barging in on her and your dad until she gets the message and backs off, or use another way of communication or a password on your phone.

zoelog 10

Sunday 1 September 2019 7:02

this makes no sense to me. how is she reading your texts? from the way you wrote this she doesn't live with you so I'm confused as to how she has access to your texts.