Sex, Family, Annoying and Creepy: The long game - FML

The long game

By Not this again.... - 26/09/2023 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, I visited my Grandma's house, and my uncle happened to be there. As expected, and all the time, he greeted with his signature shit-eating, "I see what you did there" face. He's been doing that to me ever since he saw me masturbating when I was a little kid. I'm 47, married, and have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 141

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Same thing different taste

Pervy

By okaydisarray - 04/07/2015 02:31 - United States - Dayton

Spicy

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 981

You deserved it 2 816

By lovingthis - 09/01/2013 16:48 - United States - Largo

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 201

You deserved it 5 248

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 19:07 - United States

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 576

You deserved it 21 155

By Oops - 04/07/2014 17:35 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 959

You deserved it 43 581

By T-Bear - 07/10/2015 15:02 - United States - College Station

Spicy

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 000

You deserved it 2 234

By failingdaily - 20/09/2014 02:27 - New Zealand - Paraparaumu

Spicy

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 040

You deserved it 4 032

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 19:39 - Ireland - Mountmellick

Spicy

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 647

You deserved it 3 254

Your funny uncle

By Sole Heir - 16/12/2023 03:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I was cleaning my recently late uncle's house. I found an old framed photo of a boy aged about 3. He's naked and shyly smiling to the camera, holding a heart-shaped sign that reads, "My penis is small, but my love is BIG." I showed it to my mom and asked who it was. She just snorted and said, "You were his favorite!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 113

By bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh - 21/06/2013 21:00 - United States - Washington

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 307

You deserved it 7 251

Good sport

By whatthef - 02/11/2009 18:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out that my fifty five year-old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend, saying ,"I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 717

You deserved it 3 014

Next

Top comments

County_Mayo_Jon 1

Tuesday 26 September 2023 19:30

Maybe he had a stroke and his standard expression changed ?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 September 2023 19:58

Once a wanker, always a wanker!

Comments

County_Mayo_Jon 1

Tuesday 26 September 2023 19:30

Maybe he had a stroke and his standard expression changed ?

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 26 September 2023 19:58

Once a wanker, always a wanker!

Justkidding100 41

Tuesday 26 September 2023 23:02

well if at least 30 years passed you probably won't need to worry about him much longer. then you can give a eulogy about what a shit he was

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Stop everything you're doing right now, there's an (almost) naked lady in today's illustration! Plus, there's a puppet AND doctors. It's the perfect illustration, made by Gemma Correll, our British artist of the day. Check out her interview! ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 9

Today, my wife is furious at me because she made a memory box for our kids, with objects linked to milestones, silly memories, holidays and so on, and try as I might I couldn’t identify a single damn one of them, except for a paint sampler from the time we repainted the whole house in one weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 402

The Top

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 977

You deserved it 86 118

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 659

You deserved it 4 946

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 714

You deserved it 35 127

Today, I was working as a waitress at a wedding. I was trying to clear the tables as quickly as possible and decided to place a half bowl of soup on top of the pile of plates I was carrying. As I was hurrying back to the kitchen I tripped and spilt the soup all over the bride's ivory dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 914

You deserved it 27 232

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 290

You deserved it 6 527

Today, like every day, everyone blew up my phone at once and I began having a panic attack. Because I didn’t respond immediately, I was called rude and a bad person. Turning off my phone isn’t an option either, because my mom will come in my room and cuss me out for not responding to her texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 956