Love: Useful idiot

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 569

You deserved it 7 736

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Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 985

You deserved it 3 403

By ClearOne - 12/05/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 661

You deserved it 31 992

By ...thanks - 07/09/2013 14:17 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 692

You deserved it 4 890

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 22:06 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 539

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 232

You deserved it 5 177

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 490

You deserved it 4 464

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By nobody - 01/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 290

You deserved it 210

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 3 737

By dumped - 27/10/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 2 800

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 4 147

harrypotter955 19

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

1800-choke DAT hoe

The_Big_Boss 20

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

Comments

Summercarezzi 11

Wednesday 14 May 2014 16:57

damn. heartless

PainOfDemise 11

Wednesday 14 May 2014 19:16

Time for a new woman.

Zyde 12

Wednesday 14 May 2014 19:26

Why not just break up, be **** buddies and ur wallet is now bigger for longer.

MrCantgetright 4

Wednesday 14 May 2014 20:58

stop you're whining and enjoy attachment free sex

Axel5238 29

Thursday 15 May 2014 3:56

When he get's an std if she's sleeping around that "attachment free sex" is going to suck.

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 15 May 2014 0:43

Better to be a ***** than a personal piggy bank.

Xkillz302 10

Thursday 15 May 2014 4:36

This means u don't have to buy her anything ever and you still get the sex what you still doing here you won !

imbedderdenu 23

Thursday 15 May 2014 4:49

Isn't that what all women think?

Gorefest45 8

Thursday 15 May 2014 5:34

I can relate..

jordann_27 11

Thursday 15 May 2014 7:20

Well I guess it's time for a new girlfriend that actually loves you for you and not just using you for sex...

heff123456 2

Thursday 15 May 2014 8:06

doesn't matter, had sex

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Cats Animals Gross Smells Love Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Work Christmas Grieving Social Media Music Boredom Anniversary Abuse Intimacy Ironic Transportation Am I overreacting? Drunk AITA Alcohol Kids Parents Gun control

The Top

Today, I made my relationship with my boyfriend official. The guy who I liked, who'd ultimately friendzoned me, leaving me to find someone who would reciprocate my feelings, got irrationally angry at me. Didn’t he tell me just six months ago that we were “just friends”? Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 102

Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 609

The Top

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 174

You deserved it 4 067

Today, and since being diagnosed with bowel cancer, I realised I’ve been unintentionally limiting the places I go to, like shops and restaurants, based solely on the quality of their toilet paper. Not really complaining, I just thought it was kinda funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 133

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 417

You deserved it 2 316

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 058

You deserved it 55 733

Today, unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend got a tattoo of the Joker on his neck. The worst part? It's Jared Leto's godawful Joker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 142

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 194

You deserved it 3 662

Useful idiot

Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

No kinkshaming, but come on…

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