Love: Useful idiot

Useful idiot

By taintedlover - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 569

You deserved it 7 736

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Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - 27/01/2012 22:54 - France

Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 985

You deserved it 3 403

By ClearOne - 12/05/2011 19:25 - United States

Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 661

You deserved it 31 992

By ...thanks - 07/09/2013 14:17 - United States

Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 692

You deserved it 4 890

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 22:06 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 539

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 232

You deserved it 5 177

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 490

You deserved it 4 464

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By nobody - 01/07/2023 00:02

Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 290

You deserved it 210

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 3 737

By dumped - 27/10/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 848

You deserved it 2 800

By Anonymous - 28/03/2011 02:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 944

You deserved it 4 147

harrypotter955 19

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

1800-choke DAT hoe

The_Big_Boss 20

Wednesday 14 May 2014 1:39

She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice

Comments

Heathtastic 10

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:34

Sounds like permission to find a decent girl then tell her she's just a ****** with a disrespectful personality. Then flip her off

Camri_123 11

Wednesday 14 May 2014 7:31

You might want to establish who you're talking about here. You make it sound like he should be doing to others what was done to him.

vikky538 28

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:47

*****..that's a new a way to describe a boyfriend...sorry op...

SasquatchDeluxe 10

Wednesday 14 May 2014 4:58

Doesn't matter. Having sex.

metheonlyb 17

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:04

Doesn't matter, had sex!

Shopduster 9

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:05

My husband of 12 years told me I make him feel like a "piece of meat, my personal sex toy". Pick your battles wisely

ladybugz23 13

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:12

dude you gotta find other girlfriend

alicat13 12

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:31

Tackle her about it, maybe your friend wants to move in on your territory?

fatimakhanxo 8

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:40

AW! that just means there's someone better out there for you. keep looking!

uglyduck24 7

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:41

Ahahahaha sorry but I died of laughter reading this

natattack1999 4

Wednesday 14 May 2014 5:49

Hope you mean ex-girlfriend. You deserve better than that OP

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Love Awkward Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Christmas Work Grieving Social Media Music Boredom Anniversary Abuse Intimacy Ironic Alcohol AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Drunk Gun control Kids Parents

The Top

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 53 112

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "obsessed" with my new female coworker. She gave me a piece of paper with dozens of tally marks on it. What were the tally marks keeping count of? Every time I've mentioned my coworker to my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 804

The Top

Today, I had to endure an awful taxi ride. He got me to my destination perfectly and on time, but spewed a racist rant about how, "all Indians are scammers" and how, "the Chinese should get out" the entire time. Then the taxi app had the audacity to ask for a rating. 5 stars? I don't think so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 209

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 684

You deserved it 3 255

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 446

You deserved it 4 843

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 942

You deserved it 4 004

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 085

You deserved it 3 983

Today, while I was walking home, a homeless man saw me and didn't ask for change, but how much I charged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 243

Useful idiot

Same thing different taste

Timing is everything

No kinkshaming, but come on…

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