Work: Useless tools

Useless tools

By IronMonkey - 09/06/2009 19:39 - United States

Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms. They give away free condoms to employees at the office. I haven't gotten laid since I began working here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 767

You deserved it 7 037

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 1 370

By Help - 16/09/2011 16:20 - Australia

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 076

You deserved it 2 046

By PentiumBawls8 - 20/01/2010 22:38 - United States

Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 168

You deserved it 32 934

By clash - 28/11/2008 06:30 - France

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 935

You deserved it 7 614

By Gurior - 04/09/2011 07:01 - Canada

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 921

You deserved it 48 793

By Anonymous - 30/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was fired from my job for sexual harassment. I was shopping after work, and I had to get my female manager to give me a package of extra-large condoms from the lockbox. I could not convince her that I was not flirting, and she took it to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 126

You deserved it 707

Don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.

By Briana - 29/09/2019 22:00

Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 3 312

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 560

You deserved it 634

By ADickySituation - 05/05/2013 04:14 - United States - Wilmette

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 875

You deserved it 4 938

Shy boy

By Oops - 24/10/2009 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged and whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 983

You deserved it 6 825

panicked 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:15

so the condoms are just piling up? give them to hobos in need or something.

um_duh 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 2:15

Perhaps you need to get out more & find ladies you can test the product on? If all else fails get yourself a blow up doll ;)

Comments

mattmag 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 18:16

How long have you been working there?

maddog_fml 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 18:32

Well, what are you waiting for? Go out and pick up a girl/woman/ boy/man and use them.

CurdledMilk 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 19:33

"Today, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of condoms." "Tomorrow, I work for a company that sells a leading brand of vibrators."

LesYeuxDeDario 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 23:14

Because the Girl sense that you are overthrown with condoms ... animal instinct-like :D she believes you have too much action xD

omgxosteph 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 1:48

I WANT YOUR JOB!

xoxkarinexox 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 3:25

im sorry but duh! "okay so you really wanna do this?" "*manly voice*yeah. ive got free condoms" CREEPER

indyfisher 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 4:04

Sorry Sean

Mr_Resetti 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 10:03

In response to #11: i work at a condom store... I spent a ton of money of business insurance; it pays to have protection. i work at a condom store... But profits are declining ever since my investors pulled out.