Health, Relatable and Intimacy: Vaporeon?

Vaporeon?

By me. - 07/05/2012 20:38 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 284

You deserved it 12 182

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Same thing different taste

By shallowvomit1013 - 23/12/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 038

You deserved it 5 426

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 5 774

By tigerbyrn - 30/05/2016 15:35 - Canada - Scarborough

Today, as I was about to meet my girlfriend's parents, she thought it would be funny to grab my junk and give me a hard-on right before they walked in. I couldn't hide it quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 064

You deserved it 2 096

By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 956

You deserved it 6 907

By Sicko - 28/08/2010 23:52 - France

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching TV and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 959

You deserved it 26 079

Erection for Protection

By zingle af - 26/07/2017 20:00

Today, I realized how sex-deprived I am when the thought of owning condoms gave me a rock-solid erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 560

You deserved it 634

By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 07:10 - United States - Marion

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 019

You deserved it 70 204

Ostentatious

By dgordo3 - 09/02/2009 01:01 - United States

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 425

You deserved it 46 479

By strangely - 25/07/2015 00:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 353

You deserved it 6 303

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 226

You deserved it 1 787

bob7up 5

Tuesday 8 May 2012 2:00

Tell yourgirlfriend to wear a pikachu costume when your about to have sex. It may help. ;)

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 8 May 2012 2:01

It is not very effective. OP fainted.

Comments

kristirhong 12

Saturday 23 June 2012 9:35

Not sure which situation is more awkward here...

mufasa1026 6

Friday 29 June 2012 5:53

Dude. Dont worry... It's happened to me once before too

blablablarg 0

Wednesday 11 July 2012 16:02

Pokemon i LOVE POKEMON Herggadderrgabllergg.

Fellsnows 5

Sunday 5 August 2012 18:39

Squirtle is a fine piece of ass

omart3 6

Thursday 8 November 2012 8:48

I hope you were thinking about Jessie or Misty.

poopycat 5

Saturday 2 March 2013 18:17

So you're saying pokemon is stupid?

LMAOking123 15

Saturday 25 May 2013 7:21

Think abt skool… always works

chrisstachon 30

Monday 11 November 2013 13:46

were you thinking of misty or may? just say'n

chrisstachon 30

Monday 11 November 2013 13:48

op used harden XD

chance12497 14

Sunday 24 November 2013 6:41

Dickachu i chose u lmfao

Keywords

Transportation Cars Embarrassing Work Mental health Awkward Relatable AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Annoying Family Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Dogs Animals Cute Sleep Shopping My ex Cats Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, my grandmother has been complaining that I spend too much on food, so I started cooking food from scratch. I happily showed her my recipe book and encouraged her to try a few. She then mocked me for wasting time by not buying frozen food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 514

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 443

You deserved it 3 015

The Top

Today, I got locked in my boyfriend's garage in my underwear while his parents ripped him a new one for having sex beneath their roof. His sister had to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 560

You deserved it 5 052

Today, my boyfriend wrecked our car. Now I can't get to work in order to make the money we need to buy a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 598

You deserved it 4 662

Today, I paid £200 for a car service to make sure everything was running okay. I got the all clear that everything was perfect and all necessary fluids topped up. I then wrote the car off 20 minutes later in an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 167

You deserved it 460

Today, my grandma begins her second week of unemployment. So far, she has paced outside my door, randomly comes into my room, and I woke up this morning to find a bible on my bed. I now look forward to going to work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 587

You deserved it 3 627

Today, I wanted to punish a student for being late. I decided to start a pop quiz before he arrived. I was positive there wasn't enough time for him to finish. He scored full marks and I couldn't say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 254

You deserved it 75 813

Today, I was filling out an application for a job at a local pet store. At the end of it, they wanted a paragraph about any pets I had. After a while, I found myself finishing a 3-page essay about them. That's the longest essay I've ever written. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 531

Vaporeon?

Same thing different taste

Erection for Protection

Ostentatious

Top comments

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