Ah, that's true too. People don't realize the importance of reaching full arousal before the actual GETTING IT AWWWN for women.

unless he has a huge ******* head theres no way she wouldnt be able to see the ceiling. so ur wrong in thinkin it would only be touch or oral, in which case hes still tryin too hard. i dont think she was interested period. if she really wanted to respond with her likes she could have directed him, but to state something completely different from their actions and give him that much of a downer (pun intended lol), it says it all.

"huge ******* head" LMFAOO

I didn't mean she COULDN'T see the ceiling, I'm just thinking it would be a little more difficult to see the ceiling, AND more difficult for him to not notice that she wasn't even pay attention to him... I would think if he was on top of her, he'd notice if she was looking around him at his ceiling and light fixtures. And I'm really confused as to if you're on his side or her side... I'm betting if she wasn't interested at the beginning she would have said something.

Don't worry about it. As long as you have an ******, that's all that really matters.

Bubblybrooke, is that Zacky Vengeance in your DP?

Uh, yeah, maybe OP IS a virgin. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, dumbshit.

no there isnt. but op doesnt state whether he is or not, so we are left to come to our own conclusions for a reason. so unless ur that girlfriend, or u relate to her, dont act like u know what ur talking about. ****

I pity any woman that has the misfortune of having you as a lover. I would rather the guy I'm with stop and ask if he's doing things right rather then flounder through it when he is quite possibly just getting it all wrong.

so ur saying u dont want a guy to pay attention to ur emotions or responses, and continuously ruin it with questions? if u wince ur in pain, if u breath hard u enjoy, its fucken body language. i feel bad for ur sex life

No no no NO NO! It should never be 100% up to the guy to determine if she's enjoying it; that's how we get all these fake ****** FMLs. Looking and listening doesn't always cut it, obviously. She needs to speak the **** up, and he needs to ask. Granted, it will ruin the mood if he ALWAYS asks, but I'm pretty sure just once is all he needs to do: "You like that?" "Actually, I would like it better if you did this." And then the problem is fixed forever, or at least a good while. The fact he asks shows he cares, too; it wouldn't kill the mood at all. If there is a problem, it needs to be discussed.

You are assuming everyone responds the same to different things. I don't tend to breath hard to show pleasure or wince if something hurts - something hurts, I push him away or tell him to stop rather then depending on unreliable subtle hints to get the point across. Something feels good, I moan or say so. And my sex life is just how I want it, thank you very much. For that matter - speaking up isn't unsexy at all, especially if they play their voice just right while asking.

to DGW lol im sorry im not saying its up to the guy 100%. yes a question does help, but im saying he also needs to pay a lot of attention to her body language. novelist seems to want the guy to ask everything, and her not offer directions without being asked in the first place. but ur right, it needs a discussion, although after what she displayed i doubt he could work up the courage or erection lol

thats what im saying, it matters most to pay attention to a girls emotions and not focus on only questions

true that DameGreyWulf

No no, I don't mind them relying some on expressions - but I was taking it from how you were talking that they should never, ever ask questions and rely entirely on just expression. That is likely more my mistake then anything else.

At starchild: I do relate to her, I dated a guy who sucked at that stuff. And since he never asked me if I actually liked what he was doing, I never told him to do anything else because I figured he didn't really care. I would much rather a guy ask me. It doesn't ruin the mood for me.

but what if the guy continously asked? there are many guys that do, or guys that ask and when they see u look bored to even the ******* question they just continue doing their thing. im saying u need to pay attention more to her body than just her verbal response. for all he knows she could just give an unenthusiastic yes. and as for u thinking he didnt care, what about looking at his body response. does it look like hes trying? is his attention somewhere else? or how about u take over and switch position or something to steer him in the right direction. im just saying this is more than a simple "yes" or "no". and as for my side, fyl if she is either extremely loose, lost interest in him, or just wasnt in the mood. ydi if he tries way too hard, was badgering her with questions, or noticed she wasnt into it but continued anyway. im sorry if i blew this out of context but i just had to say something lol

I think it comes down to balance. A man who would rely solely on expressions is just asking to get it wrong - however, one that relies solely on questions is asking to make it a long, drawn out process as well. If you can manage that happy medium of both combined (which is my preference, honestly - even though my earlier posts made it seem like I prefer the extreme), then you are set up for what should be a pretty good time. It is also a two-way street, like you basically said - just like they need to pay attention to the woman, she needs to pay attention to the man. Something I sometimes lack in doing, admittedly - but I am aware of it and try harder to do better in. And actually...I suppose another facet is how well they know each other in that regards, come to think of it...

@Starchild - Just for the record, I'm too lazy to reply to the rest of your comment, but the guy I was talking about DIDN'T care. He was an asshole. And it was pretty obvious. I don't know why I dated him, to this day.