she's not necesarially uptight about nudity... you wouldn't want your girlfriend completely naked in front of some random guy would you?

The boyfriend isn't necessarily cheating, ya know. There's more than one reason you'd see someone naked, especially if that someone is your girlfriend's roommate. That said, #31, no, I would not mind if my girlfriend was naked in front of some random guy. You're the exact example of uptight about nudity.

Zargon, send me naked photos of your girlfriend you Hypocrite.

Just because I'm not going to send photos over the internet to some random guy doesn't make me a hypocrite. Fun fact: random guys did see my last girlfriend naked while I was dating her and I didn't mind. Fun fact: my current significant other is also seeing someone else. Said someone else has obviously seen em naked. I don't mind. Fun fact: I actually trust the people I date. I wish the rest of you could say the same.

Wow you're gunna get your heartbroken. FUN FACT: 1) because your "significant other" (what are you gay or something and you don't want to say it?!) could leave you for that someone else FUN FACT: 1) If that ***** you call a gf has shown someone else her goods.... well let's just say "what a ****" and the rest is known... FUN FACT: 1) you're an idiot for not caring about your girlfriend being seen to other guys. It's stuff like that that makes guys charming, being caring and protective like that. OBVIOUSLY you're not like that, and you're an idiot...

Nope, not gonna get heartbroken. Glad you trust the people you're with, though. Fun fact: Anyone could leave anyone. If it happens because someone sees your girlfriend naked, I wouldn't really say that was a relationship worth being in. Also, we're polyamorous, so I'm not particularly worried leaving me for the other person. Also, no, I'm not gay, but my significant other's gender isn't what you would call well-defined, and there aren't really any decent gender-neutral terms that don't sound like I'm trying to avoid saying I'm gay. Fun fact: So someone's seen her naked. Who cares? It's the context that matters, and it's not remotely sexual. Nudity and sexuality are not equivalent. Fun fact: The people I date prefer that I not be a stupidly jealous type and that I trust them rather than assume that they're all ****** looking to get with someone else if I weren't to stop them. And they do love me for being caring and protective. I just don't happen to be jealous or act as if they are my property. Trust me, in the long run, you're far more likely than I to get your heartbroken if you think paranoia is a healthier base for a relationship than trust.

Zargon: No offense to your idea of what a relationship should be like, as that could be a cultural thing or whatever, but you need to not give advice on trusting people and shit when your idea of a healthy relationship includes several partners. It's easy for you to say that seeing your significant other naked by another person doesn't bother you, and it's even easier to say that other people seeing them naked shouldn't affect your trust in your partner, because you believe it's okay to be in a relationship with multiple people. Most relationships are monogamous, and to most people, the naked body of their partner should only be seen by the one person they're currently in a relationship with, with exception to art classes or strippers and shit.

Ah, but my outlook didn't always include polyamory. That's relatively recent, actually. My aforementioned relationship with my previous girlfriend was strictly monogamous and, honestly, at a time where I believed in strict monogamy. I still believed the same things I'm saying about nudity. Honestly, the way everyone is talking about it, it's as if they expect their significant other to run off with someone just because they see that someone naked. That does _not_ sound like a healthy relationsihp. Also, why do art class and strippers get a pass? The art class example perfectly illustrates what I keep saying about context. It's just her roommate changing, it's not as if she's doing anything. And strippers.... that *is* overtly sexual. Why should they be allowed when a random girl just changing her clothes isn't? It makes no sense at all.

bowchick got pwned.

Art classes are for educational purposes only. I don't think that if a roommate were to change in front of someone else's boyfriend, they could use a educational excuse on it. Classes where nudity is permitted have been approved by school boards, etc. I'm not saying nudity is always sexual, I'm just saying that in cases aside from things like art classes or things where nudity is permitted, most people would say that the naked body of their current partner should be for their eyes only. Idk, strippers don't really get a pass with me, but the girls are working and *most* of the time it's not one of those situations where a guy or girl gets to take a stripper home with him (which would be cheating). Most guys will see a strip show at some point in their life, many times right before they get married (IE: bachelor parties). It's just one of those things that's not really preferred by partners, but they let it slide because in most cases, strip shows are just supposed to make the fiance horny so he can go home to his wife, or vice versa. It's not really a case of "hey, I'm naked in front of you, time to ****" and it's not as big of a threat as a girl you actually know IRL getting naked in front of your boyfriend. I don't know the context or history of the OP's situation, but yeah. Everyone has a little bit of paranoia. It's much more likely for a girl to feel threatened and paranoid about her boyfriend cheating on her with her roommate that has no problem getting naked in front of him, than it is for a girl to feel threatened by a stripper that takes her clothes off for hundreds of men every night. Sounds ridiculous, but it's true. Again, no offense to your romantic ideals, but I believe it's a lot easier to lecture about trusting your partner to be naked in front of other people when you believe in polgamy, or polyamory.

"Also, no, I'm not gay, but my significant other's gender isn't what you would call well-defined" Tranny loooove I'm polyamorous myself but you can't apply the morals of polyamory to a monogamous relationship. You being ok with someone seeing your partner naked doesn't make it a universal ethic that everyone should follow - I happen to agree with your views generally but I know that a hell of a lot of people don't, and liberal values being forced onto someone takes away from the point of being liberal in the first place

Hm. That's an angle I've never looked at it from. I believe in the ideals of polyamory (my wife doesn't like the idea so it's nothing I'm ever going to practice) but it never occurred to me that comfort issues apply so differently. I guess it's not dissimilar from a Christian expecting a non-Christian to follow a rule based on faith instead of what I would consider 'morality.' That as it may be, it still seems unreasonable to me to treat the human body as obscene. But perhaps that's just a fundamental difference between my worldview and that of others.

Actually, transgendered and transexual peoples' genders are well defined, too :P Also, as I've said before, this isn't exactly what I'd call applying the morals of poly to a monogamous relationship, since my feelings on this have been the same since long before I was okay with polyamory. The problem I have with people not being okay with their partners being seen naked is that it implies a huge lack of trust. I mean, bowchicka kept talking about someone being "a threat", but that only makes sense if you don't trust your partner. I'm all for people believing what they want, but this is a case where it simply makes zero sense. Also, I don't adhere to liberal values, I adhere to what I consider sensical values, whether they're liberal or not :P But I know what you mean

You can trust your partner and still have a threat out there. People are weak and can be seduced given the right circumstances - the Bible teaches us this over and over again. Having your partner show herself to others and even having a relationship with someone else creates a much more likely situation in which things could go awkward. I feel I have to say that your way of talking gives me the impression that you're pretentious or hiding something.

Mega Dittoes.

I happen to be polyamorous myself, but also very jealous. I have a wife and a girlfriend. They're bi, I'm straight, and it works out. Apart from that though, we function fairly "normally" in terms of out relationship. None of us are 'free' to have sex with whoever whenever (our girlfriend isn't threatened by the idea of myself or my wife or both of us having other sexual partners, but she understands that for us it's a deal breaker). As Zargon says, it's all about trust. Of course your partner has to be trust worthy, but if they're not, it's time to either lower your standards or start looking for a new partner. And I do trust my girls, that's why I put a lot of effort into not letting my deep sense of jealousy get in the way of their having normal relationships (read: friendships) with their guy friends. I know they're not going to **** around on me, and if they did, they'd at least tell me about it. And they respect and appreciate that. All that said, I'm the least shy about nudity of the three of us. My girlfriend (an bio-art double major) oddly, is the most shy about her own body, as her personality would strongly indicate otherwise.. but that's a different story. Personally, I've always thought that our American/Christian squeemishness with our bodies was ridiculous. I have no problems being naked (except that it tends to make others uncomfortable) and I don't mind my women being seen naked. I have to admit it's at least partially an ego thing, a kinda "hey look what I got" mentality. Which is why it was at my prompting that I got my wife to take her top off on a beach in Spain (her personal discomfort with being seen naked is largely contingent on her environment. A beach in Spain where such a thing is normal was okay, but she'd never do that on a beach in the States). Again, like Zargon said, nudity and sexuality have nothing to do with each other. I don't mind my girls being naked in front of other men at all (assuming I also trust those men to not try anything), but I wouldn't tolerate their flirtations with another guy for half a second. As for Bowchicks statement that art has an explicitly educational purpose, changing one's clothes also has an explicitly utilitarian purpose, namely, changing one's ******* clothes. Finally, I think the idea that poly morals and attitudes can't be applied to mono relationships is flawed. I think more to the point of the matter is that if Zargon isn't adverse to his woman sleeping with other men he certainly isn't going to be bothered by what sexual tension might be generated by some guys seeing his girl nude. But that falls on it's face 'cause as he stated, this was going on at a time when he would not have permitted sexual relations with other men. Regardless, it has nothing to do with polyamoury nor do issues of jealousy necessarily. To head off any notions of me being a hypocrite for liking to have more than girl but not liking my girls to have other guys, that's a totally mute point. Nobody was forced into the relationship and no other dudes has always been a condition of mine. "Fairness" isn't an issue. Take a "normal" relationship for example: just because the dude ***** the chick doesn't mean the chick is "entitled" by rights of "fairness" to **** her dude with a strap on or some such nonsense. If that happens to work for them, both of them, so be it, but again, not the point.

"People are weak and can be seduced given the right circumstances." I'm not even a Christian per se, but I find your reading of the bible to be very sad. Having your god to be there as a means of coddling your weaknesses and failures isn't the path to virtue, it's a path of excuses. I mean, sure, theoretically everyone has a breaking point with respect to various disciplines, but for many that breaking point lies on the other side of death. In my case I've seen my wife for a combined total of 3-4 weeks in the last 10 months, I started teaching English in Japan after I graduated, but she still had her last year of college to finish up. I'm utterly unconcerned about her cheating for a number of reasons, though any one of them would do. One, she's not interested in simple sex, she even finds masturbating hollow and unfulfilling, and usually just ends up depressing her 'cause she ends up thinking about and missing me. The next reason would be that she's so dedicated to me that she doesn't even desire other men sexually and actually finds the idea repulsive. Three, honesty is paramount in our relationship, I know and she knows that there is no way she'd be able to keep something like that from me, and if anything like that happened, we both no that there's no way I'd tolerate it. Our relationship ending would be worse than death. We are who we are and we do what we do because we love each other, we care for each others feelings, and we understand and respect the consequences of our actions. We don't need angry judgmental father figures (god) to tell us that any of our actions are wrong and will be punished. Punishment is totally beside the point and is pathetically petty. I think Zargon would agree, any relationship that requires those involved to keep each other on leashes lest they mindlessly wander [onto some other guy's **** / into some other woman's ****] is a poor one, built on falsely keep romantic ideals.

dude. no offense but you people who write rediculously long comments need to take your thoughts somewhere else. i appreciate that you apparently have something meaningful to say but no one on fmylife wants to read them. they just take up a crapload of space.

@Lunaticsol : I was waiting for the punchline in that long pile of sanctimonious drivel and it never came. It was a real let down. I agree with onizzle67, I think they would appreciate your 'insight' more on drphil.com. You aren't in the right place for that here pal! And don't try to give credibility to that novel by suggesting other posters (e.g. Zargon) may agree with you - when there is so much to type that you needed 2 posts to do it, it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

Anyone against long thought out comments must be wiping off the dribble from their faces right about now.

The point is most people are visiting this website for a quick laugh not a 3 page dissertation on morals and life styles.

The people visiting for a quick laugh really shouldn't be foraying into the comments, anyway. The quick laugh comes from just reading the FMLs. I've had several decent, high-quality, and, yes, long-winded discussions on FML so clearly somebody does care to read long comments. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it. Shocking, no? At any rate, while there is a lot I disagree with in lunaticsol's post, all of the main points he makes are definitely spot on, so I don't mind that he used my name :P

If your significant other is seeing someone else, well then.... They can't really BE your significant other can they? More like an in-exclusive date.

Yes, they can be my significant other. Ey is my significant other, in fact. Polyamory is awesome like that.

-completely right. Also, if my bloke didn't care about other guys seeing me naked, I'd probably go looking for a new bloke tbh.

The comments section really isn't where someone looking for just a quick laugh should be...the comments are rarely funny and usually consist primarily of "I agree" moral support, flaming, and the occasional dissertation on morality, religion, or sexuality. :-)

@117: There are no websites I do visit for that. Not if given a choice.

Sparkey's comment made me sad. I would like to make it very clear to everyone that this kid in no way represents the majority of Christians. I'm a Christain and I understand the point he was trying(and failed miserably(sp?)) to make, but I still think he's a moron. So please don't base an opinion on Christianity off of this kid. Ty:)

This is an old thread but oh well. A lot of people think of the naked body as sacred and special. the fact that they're given the privilege of seeing it when others aren't allowed to is what makes that so special. That's why I think she was so bothered. plus seeing pronz is a lot different than seeing someone you personally know naked. so it might bother me too.

The facts in this thread aren't fun. Such false advertising.

get a new roommate AND a new boyfriend. I'd just move out, not say anything and leave her to deal with paying the whole rent and/or scrambling to find a new roommate in time.

Yeah because maybe the OP's name is on the lease. Yeah that's a great way to destroy your credit rating and stuff. Nothing like signing a lease to live in a place to up and leave everyone high and dry and screw yourself in the same instance.

I honestly didn't give it much thought. In order to analyze this fully, I'd have to give a shit about the OP, her roommate, and their shared piece of ass. I blame the OP for putting the proverbial dot-dot-dot at the end of her story!