Wanker and Work: Wanker

Wanker

By Sandman2015 - 29/01/2016 18:36 - United States - American Fork

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 366

You deserved it 1 927

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 639

You deserved it 2 338

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 118

You deserved it 2 877

By Dhagiik - 24/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 177

You deserved it 1 140

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 763

You deserved it 885

Promoted!

By Worst Way To Get Promoted - 25/09/2019 16:00

Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 031

You deserved it 163

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 3 109

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 13:31 - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 336

You deserved it 1 829

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 253

You deserved it 7 486

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 632

You deserved it 286

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 542

You deserved it 2 450

jsan727 17

Saturday 30 January 2016 1:21

You should of just stared him in the eyes the entire time. You know, to establish dominance.

Zelphoric 25

Saturday 30 January 2016 1:19

Sounds like he's working pretty hard.

Comments

FelicityWishes 32

Saturday 30 January 2016 3:08

Pretend it didn't happen? He is probably just as uncomfortable as you are.

buckdharma 37

Saturday 30 January 2016 3:11

What if he just was having a hard time making a dookie? You read into things too much op.

trucker2 33

Saturday 30 January 2016 3:23

Assuming we are all adults here - no need to run to HR- he didn't vocalize the need for you to lend a hand..... Spontaneous combustion at its best

mercyelvira42 23

Saturday 30 January 2016 3:30

A few questions: 1) Was the bathroom a single occupant bathroom? 2) If so, why didn't you knock before entering? 3) If it was a bathroom with several stalls, did he have the stall door open?

TheRussianNavy 11

Saturday 30 January 2016 3:31

Did he even open a stall? I assume so (in which case ignore that). Or was he jacking off outside the stall...Like a weirdo...

TheRussianNavy 11

Saturday 30 January 2016 3:30

I bet you love your co-worker...

914smv 18

Saturday 30 January 2016 3:54

Maybe talk to him? and tell him you are really uncomfortable with working with him OP

Ayasha_fml 12

Saturday 30 January 2016 4:11

Sounds like a hard thing to deal with to be sure. I'm not sure how your work runs OP, but is it possible to leave an anonymous note about what happened to HR?

willsnow18 11

Saturday 30 January 2016 4:42

it may be a hard decision to make

rockydify 22

Saturday 30 January 2016 23:19

I'm sure OP will come to a decision soon.

rockydify 22

Saturday 30 January 2016 23:21

I'm sure OP will come to a decision soon.

munetosiyamada 7

Saturday 30 January 2016 5:02

Then ask him, how did it go?

tlnorman 18

Saturday 30 January 2016 5:11

No self control eh? Can't wait to get to the privacy of his own home to do his private business has to do it while at work. Sorry you had to see that I would go to HR if it were me that sort of thing is inappropriate and not a good use of company time. You don't need to be made to feel uncomfortable at work.