Porn and Work: Wanker

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 247

You deserved it 7 486

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Same thing different taste

By Dhagiik - 24/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Oak Park

Today, I walked into the bathroom at work, and in the stall next to me I could hear someone pleasuring himself. I decided to let my boss know what was going on, but it turns out that it was my boss in the stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 177

You deserved it 1 140

Way too public

By stewiesclone - 11/02/2010 09:09 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump in a public restroom. Minding my own business, I heard somebody go into an adjacent stall. It was dead silent and I don't think he knew I was in there. I thought I heard him scratching his arm or something. I was wrong. He was jacking off. I had to listen to it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 992

You deserved it 3 063

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 610

You deserved it 4 741

By Sleeper_C3ll - 04/02/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 117

You deserved it 2 877

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 633

You deserved it 2 338

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

Shut up!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 18:03 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 11 230

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 2 251

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 631

You deserved it 286

By Anonymous - 02/10/2011 20:35 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 920

You deserved it 14 874

iAlissa 34

Saturday 10 August 2013 2:56

What a shallow douchecanoe.

obnum 19

Saturday 10 August 2013 2:57

I'll never understand why some people feel the need to be asses.

Comments

Cambo522 6

Saturday 10 August 2013 4:34

what an asshole!

CaiDog 20

Saturday 10 August 2013 4:42

I think his boss believed him, since his name is 'fired'

MizCherryBlossom 15

Saturday 10 August 2013 4:51

What kind of weird noises could ever be used to justify looking over the divider? I think that you should tell your boss what really happened, if you haven't already.

ni0ve 9

Saturday 10 August 2013 4:51

regardless if u were or not, why was he peeping

kpc2424 13

Saturday 10 August 2013 4:56

Fire the peeper not the whacker!

Dashelle 25

Saturday 10 August 2013 5:14

Yup, report him for peeping! And how would he know what was on your phone?

jfaucher31 4

Saturday 10 August 2013 5:15

Rats eat sh*t, and false rats die a horrible painful death

StormFire 1

Saturday 10 August 2013 5:28

imo, their both in the wrong cuz one u shouldn't b jacking off at work and two the guy shouldnt have looked over the divider. there is a time and place 4 watching **** shit and work isn't one of those places.

Waredo_Dyrge 11

Saturday 10 August 2013 6:53

Actually, the coworker falsely accused OP of masturbating in the stall. So your assessment is incorrect. OP was laughing at something he was reading on his phone (possibly FML.)