Wanker and Intimacy: Wanking yourself to death - FML

Wanking yourself to death

By SkinsCastSelection - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Spicy

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 302

You deserved it 47 616

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Top comments

DocBastard 38

Monday 17 January 2011 23:51

Sounds like you just need more conditioning. Just keep practicing, work up your strength and endurance, and you'll be able to go on and on with your exercise routine! Good luck! *rereads FML* Wait, while masturb...oh, come on! Dude, no!!

iliketurdles 7

Monday 17 January 2011 23:14

Wow.. does this mean you would do the same through intercourse too? Just imagine someone started to have an asthma attack while you're in them or they're in you..

Comments

deviant96 2

Friday 25 November 2011 3:02

What would you say to the family at the funeral? "Ohhh... Im so sorry he/she had to go this way. So young! But yet so lonely, and not so innocent..."

hmcginnis2017 0

Monday 23 January 2012 4:16

O wow.. R u for real

rainydayz133 6

Thursday 19 July 2012 14:40

Can't believe my two favorite things are mixing; Skins and FML. ******* amazing.

pookie957 7

Tuesday 22 October 2013 3:15

That's disgusting

wattomelon 13

Sunday 5 July 2015 16:20

You must be doing a good job then.

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Animals Dogs Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 545

You deserved it 476

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 648

You deserved it 8 222

The Top

Today, at work, a man wanted to buy a garden hose which came up on the till as £1.99. He said that it was wrong and that it should be £1.89, so he then demanded that I called someone down to set it right. He held 20 customers up for 15 minutes to get 10p off a garden hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 574

You deserved it 1 237

Today, my upstairs neighbors, in my supposedly pet-free apartment complex, got a puppy. It’s a Great Dane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 111

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 710

You deserved it 3 349

Today, my girlfriend got fired from her job for arguing with her female coworker. I found out from a mutual friend that the reason they were arguing was because they were fighting over "a hot male coworker" who hooked up with the female coworker. I think I need to leave her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 106

Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 967

You deserved it 7 092

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 804

You deserved it 8 346