Intimacy: We can tell

We can tell

By Mkimmi - 12/02/2015 07:39 - United States - State College

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 323

You deserved it 3 722

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Same thing different taste

Can't wait for the next time

By cowboy_gold - 25/01/2020 05:00

Today, I came back to my dorm only to hear my neighbor having loud sex. I thought I was just thinking when I said, "At least do it against the other wall," but when I was left later on, he walked by, apologized and said that he thought I wasn't home, and promised to be more quiet next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 122

You deserved it 565

STOP!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 20:00

Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 167

Nooooooo!

By ScarredEars - 12/08/2010 12:02 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 403

You deserved it 3 801

Vicariously

By Cate - 05/11/2009 10:25 - Australia

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 579

You deserved it 3 413

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 702

You deserved it 4 398

By OhFseriously123 - 06/08/2009 10:05 - Italy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 568

You deserved it 13 647

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 645

You deserved it 45 071

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 314

You deserved it 727

By SleeplessInSoCal - 09/08/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 095

You deserved it 3 304

By Anonymous - 07/11/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 852

You deserved it 2 434

organizse 28

Thursday 12 February 2015 19:27

Bang on the walls and tell him "I can do better"

julianbozikovic 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 19:29

Leave a sex tip book for your neighbor on his door! I think he'll get the hint :D

Comments

denden_mushi 11

Friday 13 February 2015 3:12

I don't get why people fake it. Wouldn't that actually be more hurtful to your significant other and yourself too? I just don't get it...

wvcheesehead 13

Friday 13 February 2015 3:43

Find an independent film with a loud domestic shouting match, preferably about a sexual matter, make them just as uncomfortable.

posie97 18

Friday 13 February 2015 4:25

I would have ran in there, pushed him off, and made him watch us do it way better and listen her when she's NOT faking every ****** I give her!

danm19 15

Saturday 14 February 2015 13:48

So a break in and rape!

trulypar 34

Friday 13 February 2015 7:49

Anonymously leave a little trophy outside the door for the terrific acting. :-)

asherm 15

Friday 13 February 2015 14:20

F her life.

xx000o 27

Friday 13 February 2015 18:03

Maybe he's a great guy and a lousy ****.

rockydify 22

Friday 13 February 2015 19:10

How could you possibly know she was faking from listening to them?

shitstorm28 11

Monday 16 February 2015 16:12

I had a neighbor like this once. I responded by yelling directions to him through the wall.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Sleep Awkward Love Weddings Television Money Relatable Snow Transportation Annoying Family Kids Pregnancy Mental health Empathy Toxic Food Animals Cats Argument Gamers Health Valentine's Day Gross Homeowners Home improvement Babysitter Drugs Music

The Top

Today, during an argument with my daughter, she screamed, "Everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration, where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 357

You deserved it 6 850

Today, I tried carrying all my groceries inside in one trip. I succeeded, but also succeeded in tearing the handles, dropping everything, and rolling a can of soup straight under my neighbor’s car. Never trust cheap tote bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 338

The Top

I don't do surprises.

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 234

Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 407

You deserved it 588

Today, a woman came through my drive-thru and ordered a latte, but the bank had closed off her cards and she was short 30 cents in cash. I felt bad, so I paid for her. When I went home, I told my dad what I did, thinking he'd be proud of how he raised me but no, he said I'd wasted my money, and made me feel bad about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 123

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 86

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 4 546

Today, I started a part-time job at a nursery. One of the kids asked me if I was single, so I explained to her that I am with another woman. My boss fired me on the spot for "acting inappropriately". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 486

You deserved it 1 285