Wanker and Intimacy: Weirdo - FML

Weirdo

By concernedsis - 04/02/2016 14:53 - United States - Atlanta

Spicy

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 755

You deserved it 1 849

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 23:01 - United States - Parkersburg

Spicy

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 708

You deserved it 3 067

By ellarose - 10/04/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 942

You deserved it 3 266

Privacy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 905

You deserved it 257

By Spawn_of_Satan - 27/03/2009 15:18 - Hong Kong

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 132

You deserved it 7 427

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 13:07 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 976

You deserved it 3 248

Baseless assumptions

By afafakfhsg - 19/02/2011 00:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in bed, about to fall asleep, when I remembered something funny. While trying not to laugh, I started grunting and biting my lip, when suddenly my brother walked by my door. He refuses to believe that I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 387

You deserved it 12 105

By mr.palendrome - 06/03/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 437

You deserved it 28 104

By why - 28/07/2014 01:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 718

You deserved it 5 527

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 591

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 03:55 - United States - Portland

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 369

You deserved it 1 711

Next

Top comments

jen1097 25

Friday 5 February 2016 1:06

Let's hope it's just gossip...

Warmonger_Smurf 29

Friday 5 February 2016 1:40

Did he also do it in a drug test cup?

Comments

jen1097 25

Friday 5 February 2016 1:06

Let's hope it's just gossip...

kred 21

Friday 5 February 2016 1:07

Giggity......

IAmzephyr 22

Friday 5 February 2016 3:04

with all these downvotes, looks like you're getting shrekt

Dale_shackleford 13

Friday 5 February 2016 4:34

At least your pun is ogre

Thoricsteam20 24

Friday 5 February 2016 1:09

They're all a couple of jerk offs

Garrett2818 21

Friday 5 February 2016 4:05

They're all two jerk offs?

chuka81 27

Friday 5 February 2016 1:12

I've heard of peeing to mark your territory. Not much different from jerking of really.

krazy789 28

Friday 5 February 2016 2:38

.... What??

supr_sexy 9

Friday 5 February 2016 21:05

OP's brother is trynna mark his territory.

isuckwithnames 22

Friday 5 February 2016 1:18

It Takes balls to do jerk off in every house you visit.

heartofhannah 28

Friday 5 February 2016 4:26

You tried

weird_adult 27

Friday 5 February 2016 1:19

Is your brother a hound dog by any Chance?

LyricaSilvan 29

Friday 5 February 2016 1:39

I think you mean "horn dog."

nickie_94 18

Friday 5 February 2016 1:20

You might want to warn your brother about those rumors

silky_mitts 11

Friday 5 February 2016 1:20

Probably happens a lot in Georgia

Kaoticwolf 17

Friday 5 February 2016 1:36

there's a kid named Ben that jacks off everywhere just hope it's not him

nerovetsrethca 20

Friday 5 February 2016 1:40

I hope it's just a rumor. But maybe tell or ask your brother about it. Rumors most of the time start with something little and gets bigger and faker everytime its passing someone.

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 132

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

The Top

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 699

You deserved it 3 077

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 161

You deserved it 10 940

Today, I have peace of mind that I am not pregnant, thanks to my IUD. It's not because of the effectiveness of the contraceptive, but my inability to touch my boyfriend. I haven't stopped bleeding since my doctor installed it 3 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 689

You deserved it 686

Today, just walked in on my fiancé having a threesome with my brother and his husband. The wedding was supposed to be next week, and a lot of it is non-refundable FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 695

You deserved it 198

Today, I was terminated from my job because my boss “felt like it.” My parents have made it clear to me that if I am ever fired from a job, for any reason, they will kick me out on the street and never speak to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 101

You deserved it 105

Today, I had to explain to my housemate that the cast of "The Crown" is not the real Royal Family impersonating themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 109