Miscellaneous: Welcome to the neighborhood

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Welcome to the neighborhood

By wtf dad - 03/03/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 651

You deserved it 2 342

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Same thing different taste

By welcome to the neighborhood - 28/04/2016 23:35 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 634

You deserved it 1 837

By Nekro_Kat - 10/08/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 806

You deserved it 3 899

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 419

You deserved it 8 468

Welcome to the neighborhood

By Desperate housewife - 13/02/2025 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 116

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 377

You deserved it 3 376

By Pool-less - 04/09/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 073

You deserved it 2 392

By lp525252 - 20/03/2013 10:59 - Australia - Miranda

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 876

You deserved it 3 155

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 342

You deserved it 3 843

A bunch of ghosts did it!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 00:02

Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 542

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 924

You deserved it 553

mxpklx 12

Saturday 3 March 2012 6:47

Lisa Simpson? Is that you?

comedybreak 20

Saturday 3 March 2012 6:47

More like f your dad's life for having to stoop so low. FYL. OP

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 3 March 2012 21:53

If this guy shows up at your door w/a fresh batch of cookies, watch yo' shit!

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 3 March 2012 23:12

Are you a Corleone?

_MidnightLuna_ 17

Sunday 4 March 2012 0:04

BAHAHAH This. Is. Hilarious. Favourited!

HannahWho 8

Sunday 4 March 2012 0:39

Your dad is awesome. I would **** with him though and throw it back over the fence.

randypoh 3

Sunday 4 March 2012 3:20

That shit is to funny!!

ospeth 4

Sunday 4 March 2012 9:22

Good plan! If he already doesn't like them, might as well finalize it.

kaikai63 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 10:44

That's my boy!!

ravcab97 0

Sunday 4 March 2012 15:26

I would have died of laughter (;

chuckcloninger 12

Sunday 4 March 2012 16:23

Get an attorney immediately and file for a divorce from this thing that calls himself your dad. If you're lucky you were adopted and have none of his recessive genes?