Miscellaneous: Welcome to the neighborhood

Welcome to the neighborhood

By wtf dad - 03/03/2012 02:24 - United States

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 2 341

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By welcome to the neighborhood - 28/04/2016 23:35 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I met my new neighbors. The first thing they did was build a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 631

You deserved it 1 833

By Nekro_Kat - 10/08/2011 03:00 - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 802

You deserved it 3 898

By GEE, THANKS DAD - 28/09/2012 22:21 - United States

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 415

You deserved it 8 464

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 373

You deserved it 3 376

By Pool-less - 04/09/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 065

You deserved it 2 389

By lp525252 - 20/03/2013 10:59 - Australia - Miranda

Today, a guy left flowers on my doorstep. I got home to find my dad claiming he bought them for my mum. I told my parents they were mine, they laughed in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 871

You deserved it 3 154

By Amanda - 19/11/2010 05:14

Today, my house was broken into. Apparently, I have nothing good enough in my house to steal, so they took my cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 337

You deserved it 3 841

A bunch of ghosts did it!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 00:02

Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 531

What the…?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I came home from a month long vacation to find my house absolutely trashed with a lot of valuable items missing. Burglary? Nope. My dad, who was meant to be house-sitting for me, let the neighbour's teenage son have several parties there in exchange for weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 914

You deserved it 551

What was in the box?

By Anonymous - 29/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 144

mxpklx 12

Saturday 3 March 2012 6:47

Lisa Simpson? Is that you?

comedybreak 20

Saturday 3 March 2012 6:47

More like f your dad's life for having to stoop so low. FYL. OP

Comments

demonmonkey 13

Saturday 3 March 2012 7:09

Whats going to happen when the neighbors notice they're missing a chair and then they see it at your house?

omarzrgz 3

Saturday 3 March 2012 7:11

Take the cake back!

omarzrgz 3

Saturday 3 March 2012 7:33

Ohhhhhhhhh! I readi it wrong! xD

inlove72 11

Saturday 3 March 2012 7:18

Lmfao I wish my dad was that awesome!!

chuckcloninger 12

Sunday 4 March 2012 16:28

You're a fuc*ed up little turd. You deserve the completed screwed up and dysfunctional life that is headed your way. Your only role in life is to make yourself and everyone you come into contact with miserable and you will never be happy and never enjoy your life. Please never leave Canada.

inlove72 11

Sunday 4 March 2012 18:22

I'm having a wonderful life. I'm not a f***ed up turd. Why you have issues with Canadians? We are awesome.

taracrane1 7

Saturday 3 March 2012 7:22

This is the funniest thing I have ever read.

gonad_gobbler 1

Saturday 3 March 2012 8:03

maybe he was going to donate it to chairity

perdix 29

Saturday 3 March 2012 8:06

Actually, it wasn't a theft because you paid for the chair with cake. There may be some fraud issues because your neighbors did not know that the cake was a payment, not a gift.

LarryLaDouche 13

Friday 21 September 2012 22:45

Who the hell wouldn't want to trade cake for a chair? It would have to be a recliner with a mini-fridge and rocket thrusters for me to not take that deal!