Miscellaneous: What am I doing? - FML

What am I doing?

By forever young - 05/07/2013 15:16 - United States

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 414

You deserved it 52 827

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Same thing different taste

By badgirl - 21/06/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 23 627

By hiii. - 16/03/2010 02:27 - United States

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 338

You deserved it 40 887

By 14YearOld - 25/11/2011 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 903

You deserved it 8 000

Indoctrinated

By workfordayzz - 14/05/2014 17:45 - United States

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 313

You deserved it 8 963

Need help

By Nohelpforyou - 04/03/2022 12:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was so depressed that I almost called Kids Help Phone for support. Then I remembered that I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 153

Lizard queen

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 06:00

Today, someone tried to guess my age. They guessed 45, then 39. I'm 35 and just spent $20,000 on plastic surgery to make myself look more youthful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 775

Turned out OK

By Lauren - 24/11/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I found my high school diary and decided to read it for nostalgia. My teenage self wrote, “Future me will totally be rich, famous, and married to Chris Hemsworth by 30.” I’m 32, single, and googling “How to fix a clogged toilet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 164

Time

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I used to look so young for my age that in high school, I was regularly mistaken for a freshman. I never succeeded in getting dates because of it. Today, I'm 25 years-old and regularly get confused for being in my thirties. I guess all the stress from work, loneliness, and rejection really caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 90

We've all been there

By b…… - 28/09/2023 22:00

Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 156

By missyoudad. - 31/08/2010 07:54 - Australia

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 536

You deserved it 2 865

Next

Top comments

Kheasus 8

Friday 5 July 2013 19:35

@35 You have the grammar of a child as well...

DocBastard 38

Friday 5 July 2013 18:56

You're only as young as you feel. You clearly feel 13. Go look in the mirror at your gray hairs and newly-forming wrinkles. That'll smack you back to reality awfully quickly.

Comments

chronosphere 18

Friday 5 July 2013 22:02

i dont feel like growing up

Angelastic_fml 18

Friday 5 July 2013 22:19

Act like you're old enough to know that your age doesn't put any arbitrary restrictions on your behaviour.

Headcrab 29

Friday 5 July 2013 22:21

I'm 27 now and embraced my inner child a while back when I realised that it will never go away. it'svmore fun anyway ;-)

MrZsDad 19

Friday 5 July 2013 23:13

Nah nah nanah naaaaa! Ill never grow up I'm a Toys R Us kid!

Neta 16

Friday 5 July 2013 23:19

One of the things I'm realizing as I'm becoming an adult - everyone's winging it and improvising. Go with what feels right.

judea95 16

Friday 5 July 2013 23:56

How is this an fml?

infamoushack 10

Saturday 6 July 2013 0:07

Makes me wonder if I know you or not? :D

Phantomlyne1 1

Saturday 6 July 2013 0:36

Yes "FYL" you mean how to be mature?

tyrone_at 8

Saturday 6 July 2013 0:44

Hey you could be my colleague from work...!

rosenkrieger223 21

Saturday 6 July 2013 1:41

#44, If you look at #9's profile, the shitty grammar in her comment won't surprise you very much.

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The Top

Today, my husband was eating me out when he suddenly lifted up my hips and started licking my asshole. I screamed for him to stop, since it was disgusting. I don't think I can ever have sex again. I can't believe I married someone who would do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 241

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I'm on my second day of a week of antibiotics to treat a bad urine infection. Incidentally, the pills seem to be giving me extremely loud, frequent, gut-wrenchingly painful and smelly diarrhea. Only 5 more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 130

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 126

Today, I was loudly asked if I'd rubbed poop all over myself this morning. I shower three times a day, brush my teeth for 10 minutes twice a day, and wear copious amounts of antiperspirant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 682

You deserved it 1 720

Today, it's my birthday. I got just three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office, to sing me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413 884

You deserved it 21 875

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 130

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 581

You deserved it 13 894