Miscellaneous: What am I doing? - FML

What am I doing?

By forever young - 05/07/2013 15:16 - United States

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 414

You deserved it 52 827

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Same thing different taste

By badgirl - 21/06/2011 21:41 - United States

Today, I Googled myself. I found my mugshot and a blog my mom had written about how much of a problem child I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 351

You deserved it 23 627

By hiii. - 16/03/2010 02:27 - United States

Today, I was so bored I googled the word "bored." The results were boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 338

You deserved it 40 887

By 14YearOld - 25/11/2011 17:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 903

You deserved it 8 000

Indoctrinated

By workfordayzz - 14/05/2014 17:45 - United States

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 313

You deserved it 8 963

Need help

By Nohelpforyou - 04/03/2022 12:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was so depressed that I almost called Kids Help Phone for support. Then I remembered that I’m 33. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 153

Lizard queen

By Anonymous - 05/07/2023 06:00

Today, someone tried to guess my age. They guessed 45, then 39. I'm 35 and just spent $20,000 on plastic surgery to make myself look more youthful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 1 775

Turned out OK

By Lauren - 24/11/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I found my high school diary and decided to read it for nostalgia. My teenage self wrote, “Future me will totally be rich, famous, and married to Chris Hemsworth by 30.” I’m 32, single, and googling “How to fix a clogged toilet.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 164

Time

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I used to look so young for my age that in high school, I was regularly mistaken for a freshman. I never succeeded in getting dates because of it. Today, I'm 25 years-old and regularly get confused for being in my thirties. I guess all the stress from work, loneliness, and rejection really caught up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 90

We've all been there

By b…… - 28/09/2023 22:00

Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 1 156

By missyoudad. - 31/08/2010 07:54 - Australia

Today, I Googled my father, who I haven't seen in 3 years. The first website link was his obituary. When I confronted my mom about it, she said, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 536

You deserved it 2 865

Next

Top comments

Kheasus 8

Friday 5 July 2013 19:35

@35 You have the grammar of a child as well...

DocBastard 38

Friday 5 July 2013 18:56

You're only as young as you feel. You clearly feel 13. Go look in the mirror at your gray hairs and newly-forming wrinkles. That'll smack you back to reality awfully quickly.

Comments

mariab2898 13

Saturday 6 July 2013 6:31

I found this funnier than I should have

TimeDisposalEngi 14

Saturday 6 July 2013 7:15

LOL I just did something along those lines today, but I'm 22.

kidsgotastinky 11

Saturday 6 July 2013 8:00

I wanna be just like you

dodgethis3500 17

Saturday 6 July 2013 8:47

And then I Googled "How to act like an adult" Just to see what it would say.

graceinsheepwear 33

Saturday 6 July 2013 9:04

At least it wasn't Bing.

ajaj26 12

Saturday 6 July 2013 13:32

The moment you start thinking about consequences before you drink, you have reached adulthood.

ma77 9

Saturday 6 July 2013 14:23

Did you just watch Step Brothers as well? I just finished it, kinda weird this was an FML 0.o

wordsHurt 1

Saturday 6 July 2013 20:59

Wow.

Wittledinosaure 7

Saturday 6 July 2013 22:21

You got to learn somehow.

din365 5

Sunday 7 July 2013 0:56

well, I know of a 37 year old who needs to learn how to act like an adult

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The Top

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 1 191

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 3 963

The Top

Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 283

You deserved it 31 829

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 953

You deserved it 5 199

Today, as I was riding my bike home from school, I saw a homeless man sitting on a bench. I was about to walk up to him and give him money, but before I could do anything my mother walked up and kissed him. My mom is dating this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 295

You deserved it 3 390

Today my fiancé broke up with me. Two hours later, the store I bought my wedding dress from called to say it’s ready to be picked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 975

You deserved it 298

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 729

You deserved it 25 372

Today, after spending about 5 years to go back to school, get my life together and get a real job, I now make about $100 less a month. I used to work as a dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 484

You deserved it 2 985