Birds and Animals: What did you say?

What did you say?

By What? - 22/01/2013 19:00 - Australia

Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 4 110

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/06/2016 19:39 - Germany - Munich

Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 232

You deserved it 1 157

Enjoy the sirens

By Anonymous - 17/03/2023 04:00

Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 199

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 16:51 - Canada - Galt

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 669

You deserved it 5 440

By weep weep weep - 12/03/2012 03:04 - United States

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 929

You deserved it 3 851

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 06:22 - Australia

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 150

You deserved it 4 202

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 762

You deserved it 1 789

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 20:07 - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 762

You deserved it 7 002

Impressive

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 02:57 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 438

You deserved it 19 349

You ******* idiot

By Handuh15 - 31/05/2019 16:00

Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 3 266

MORE! MORE!

By bursteardrums - 16/08/2011 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 345

You deserved it 11 234

yoyoyowhatup 11

Wednesday 23 January 2013 0:23

Who the hell invites extended family just to see what a parrot can say?

MrBrightside21 20

Wednesday 23 January 2013 0:22

I taught my parrot to be a psychologist, so that whenever I talk to him, he says, "So how do you feel?"

Comments

outoftown 26

Wednesday 23 January 2013 4:23

Time to this getting really old: five... four... three...

Jimbox_fml 3

Wednesday 23 January 2013 5:15

Death is the only option at this point

spikekutter 9

Wednesday 23 January 2013 6:56

talking to a parrot is all fun and games untill it calls you a bitch..

EnterFMLHere 17

Wednesday 23 January 2013 8:01

Hahaha that's great, I fail to see the FML here :p

drzfinest062011 4

Wednesday 23 January 2013 10:28

thats actually pertty cool lmao

Bacontree 14

Wednesday 23 January 2013 11:35

You have a parrot in a household with a 10-year old boy. I doubt anyone will be surprised to hear that the parrot's been taught swear words.

Tegz0rz 12

Wednesday 23 January 2013 15:52

I don't get how this is an fml. Especially if you're from Australia, the place where "bitch" is one of the more tame things people say.

Crzysht96 3

Wednesday 23 January 2013 17:10

Just explain how the parrot was purchased like that...

BobbieH 19

Wednesday 23 January 2013 18:22

Wait, you have extended family coming over to specifically hear what the parrot can say? FYL for more than the parrot saying " Shut up bitch!"!

nicholasj96 9

Wednesday 23 January 2013 19:13

Ur family are entertained by a talking parrot ?

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You deserved it 5 853

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 19 582

You deserved it 6 961

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I agree, your life sucks 34 931

You deserved it 2 512

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I agree, your life sucks 4 154

You deserved it 1 602

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I agree, your life sucks 66 023

You deserved it 3 799

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You deserved it 215

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You deserved it 574