Health, Gross and Kids: What's cooking?

What's cooking?

By Hunter - 06/12/2010 06:17

Today, my five year-old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side, so I grabbed a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 743

You deserved it 33 862

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Felinefine - 15/08/2016 19:33 - United Kingdom - South Petherton

Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 909

You deserved it 2 512

By megomania - 02/05/2011 13:51 - United States

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 042

You deserved it 4 440

By herpmonster - 23/06/2012 16:59 - Italy

Today, I stepped out for some fresh air while I waited for my clothes to dry at the laundromat. Just as I was retrieving my clothes, a disheveled-looking kid staggered over, pushed me aside, and started vomiting his guts out all over my fresh clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 188

You deserved it 1 971

Who gave him that?

By Ewyucky - 21/06/2022 06:00 - Canada - Wilberforce

Today, my 3 year-old son projectile vomited on me. I was covered head to toe in blue Gatorade vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 904

By Anonymous - 18/09/2015 21:14 - United States - Jonesboro

Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 500

You deserved it 1 989

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 775

You deserved it 6 758

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 395

You deserved it 5 225

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my 5 year old-son and I went out for a walk. As I was looking in a shop's the window display, I turned around to see my son pooping into an open manhole on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 771

You deserved it 9 581

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 05:01

Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 219

By Anonymous - 02/03/2019 14:00

Today, I went to pick up a pizza with my kids for an easy dinner. As soon as I opened my mouth to order, the 2-year-old in my arms vomited into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 356

You deserved it 254

Mister_Grinch 0

Monday 6 December 2010 12:26

It's called a light switch. Turn it on.

ellie1993 3

Monday 6 December 2010 12:19

you should be worried about your kid being sick. not your outfit getting ruined, because that is easily washed. o_O

Comments

aback 4

Monday 6 December 2010 14:12

Why the hell are you wearing a new outfit if it's too dark to see?

Zebidee 8

Monday 6 December 2010 14:23

Rubbish your outfit is ruined. Stop being such a drama queen and wash your clothes or get them dry cleaned.

Meeshiaa 7

Monday 6 December 2010 14:24

This didn't happen to you on the 5th. I know this because i'm on this site apparently too much and moderated this exact post a while back. But, I guess i'll give you a high five for your persistence in getting this fml posted.

yummyhound 0

Monday 6 December 2010 14:53

you had good intentions.

iheartglasses 0

Monday 6 December 2010 14:56

I had a lot to say to this post but I realized it started to become a book... You deserve it in so many ways! Mistakes: light switch? Feeling the holes when touching the strainer? Not sitting in the bathroom with your kid? Youre the parent to a sick child..WEAR COTTON! When Im home with my kid Im wearing my mismatching pjs cause I know Im bound to get covered with food and snot. Please dont reproduce again...