Miscellaneous: Why so serious?

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 442

You deserved it 3 390

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Same thing different taste

Quality family time

By really mature, GRAN - 25/12/2012 20:59 - United States - El Macero

Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 778

You deserved it 3 078

By aelia_oups - 31/12/2012 22:09 - France - Taverny

Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 334

You deserved it 7 539

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 521

You deserved it 3 237

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 06:00 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 811

You deserved it 389

By phonesmuggler - 18/04/2013 19:30 - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 884

You deserved it 5 818

Chill out

By Bruce - 01/12/2022 18:00

Today, I had to warn my wife not to kill her insane mother. I was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 93

It wasn't me!

By cantwin - 31/05/2013 13:54 - Belgium - Zwevegem

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 487

You deserved it 3 717

By Anonymous - 10/05/2013 19:28 - United States - Warren

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 677

You deserved it 6 461

By Anonymous - 17/02/2012 08:01 - United States

Today, I was in a grocery store with my great-grandmother. It would've been nice to know she hadn't taken her medication before she started beating the cashier with her umbrella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 486

You deserved it 2 281

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 776

You deserved it 38 591

arniebrah 8

Monday 18 June 2012 16:03

Lol that's like 3 FMLs in one

BuffaloSabres134 8

Monday 18 June 2012 16:03

I hate it when that happens.

Comments

YourMoms_BF 2

Friday 22 June 2012 11:19

Are you sure she is not trolling you?

kcbunny 2

Saturday 23 June 2012 20:42

That is sooo weird that would have been extremely awkward for you!

YourMoms_BF 2

Sunday 24 June 2012 16:34

You should have said "Grandma drop the banana and don't do anything stupid"

cartedor 18

Tuesday 1 January 2013 10:21

Just read someone was allergic to fruits so if granny there is also allergic, then she can really peel off her years right there and then

aardvarkish 15

Saturday 16 February 2013 2:26

I see what you did there!

rachelwho 9

Friday 22 March 2013 23:06

She's going bananas

Chris93Jones 20

Monday 30 September 2013 4:42

Sure if I'm the first person to say this, but that is just bananas.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 15 June 2014 4:57

K overdose? (I have no idea how to spell it)

StupidityRising 9

Saturday 5 December 2015 2:05

How is that even possible? Death by banana.

StupidityRising 9

Saturday 5 December 2015 2:06

How is that even possible? Death by banana.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 878

You deserved it 2 095

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 032

The Top

Today, after going to the ophthalmologist, I got some really cute glasses. When I got home, my dad saw them and told me that when he was in high school, they called girls with those glasses BC. When I asked what BC stood for, he said, "Birth control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 172

Today, I had to take my daughter to the ER. Her brother had bet she couldn't go the whole day without talking. So to win the bet, she tried to super-glue her lips together so she couldn't accidentally say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 889

You deserved it 3 005

Today, my sister asked me to help her set up for my niece's birthday party. Being the lazy person that I am, I got my niece to blow up the non-helium balloons. Apparently she's allergic to latex and I'll be the one paying for the hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 761

You deserved it 60 016

Today, I found out why my boyfriend doesn't want me to get a full-time job, despite us needing the money. He's scared that I'll cheat on him with one of my coworkers, to get back at him for doing it a few years ago. I never knew he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 95

Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 256

You deserved it 2 088

Today, I got to be an innocent victim caught in the middle of a farting war between my boyfriend and my 10-year-old son. I fear my sense of smell will never recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 128

You deserved it 4 889