Love, Kids, Pranks, Dad jokes and Cops: You can't do anything these days!

You can't do anything these days!

By I want a divorce! - 24/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, even though I told him not to, my husband tried the old “pull a shotgun on your daughter’s date” thing. It turns out the kid’s mom is a lawyer and his uncle is a cop. Now my husband is under investigation for a hate crime, because the kid is a different race than us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 348

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

Unsuitable suitor

By Anonymous - 24/08/2018 18:30

Today, during a family reunion, my daughter accused me of being a racist because I won't let her date a black guy. I do not have a racist bone in my body, but this dude is an actual gang member, and he has killed people before. Nobody believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 049

You deserved it 214

When Stranger Danger goes feral

By Anonymous - 18/09/2023 06:00

Today, I was beaten up by a random dude for trying to pick my own son up from school. I'm pasty white, my wife is black, and our son was visibly born black, so I was beaten up for attempted kidnapping, and it’s not the first time it’s happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 128

Not taking it well

By runsinthefamily - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Aurora

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, claiming I'd threatened him with a gun. Despite zero proof, they took me to the station and gave me hell. I guess what I've learned today is that you should never offend your crazy neighbor by breaking up with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 996

You deserved it 4 632

****** around, found out

By I blame Youtube - 05/01/2023 00:00

Today, my teenage son broke into my gun safe, took my gun, and dumped the magazine into the side of his ex-girlfriend's family home. He's completely stunned that he was arrested and charged with attempted murder. My wife blames me and wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 692

Never try this at home

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 13:00 - United States - Grass Valley

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 025

You deserved it 132

Casual patriarchy

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 18:00

Today, my husband more or less said to our daughter, "I just met an old friend, he has a son you should marry because my old friend is really rich.” It’s been an hour and he’s cowering in his chair because our daughter is still yelling at him, and it serves him right, but now I have a headache from the noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 248

Protection

By Anonymous - 03/07/2020 08:01

Today, I went on my first date in a year or so. It was going great, but after we left the restaurant, we went back to her place, where I was quickly chased out of the house by her two daughters, and her grandfather with a shotgun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 151

Innocence project

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 00:01

Today, my son-in-law slapped my daughter, so I put him in an armhold and threw him outside. My daughter refused to press charges so he got away, but then he pressed charges against me for hitting his head against the wall when I threw him, so I got arrested instead. Justice is a shitting joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 187

Don't be a dingdong

By Steve - 03/04/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 2 707

Legal Eagle

By Anonymous - 29/11/2021 05:01

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 2 608

FluffythePink 21

Wednesday 24 July 2024 22:43

Play stupid games...

historygrad74 19

Thursday 25 July 2024 1:17

He deserves it. Who does that?!

Comments

FluffythePink 21

Wednesday 24 July 2024 22:43

Play stupid games...

Thaylok 17

Wednesday 24 July 2024 23:01

I'm surprised he's even allowed a shotgun in Cali. Sounds like he chose the wrong state to live in with that FAFO. Sorry you had to suffer with his idiocy.

historygrad74 19

Thursday 25 July 2024 1:17

He deserves it. Who does that?!

Hangryko 29

Thursday 25 July 2024 2:27

I'm sorry you went through that BS. Glad you're divorcing that toxic manchild.

JuneBleeds4 17

Thursday 25 July 2024 6:15

Yeah, your husband and, by extension, you deserve whatever he gets from this. That's a really stupid "prank" to pull in this day and age. FAFO the hard way...

whackman56789 7

Thursday 25 July 2024 12:17

Why does the OP deserve this? She told him not to do it and he went and did it anyway. OP’s husband definitely deserves what he’s been charged with for sure but OP told him it was a terrible thing and not to do it and he ignored her and did it anyway.

JuneBleeds4 17

Saturday 27 July 2024 7:45

"I told him not to" is a lame duck defense.

bazjack 26

Sunday 28 July 2024 4:48

How was she supposed to stop him, pull a shotgun on him?

Iamthebanzai22 20

Thursday 25 July 2024 6:50

It's only funny when you are not on the business end of the shotgun. Anybody would be traumatized by having that happen to them and I hope your husband realizes that the joke is now on him. You don't do that shit to people.