Drunk, ACAB, Fight, Public freakouts and Health: You're nicked

You're nicked

By DrunkenValor - 06/09/2009 04:03 - United Kingdom

Today, my friend got drunk. We tried to get him into a cab, he punched me in the face, three chavs then accosted me, accusing me of trying to mug him. I was then beaten up by said chavs and then the police charged me for being drunk and disorderly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 306

You deserved it 3 466

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Same thing different taste

By ronboy - 26/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 752

You deserved it 2 815

By justafriend - 28/05/2017 00:00

Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 255

You deserved it 383

By AntSimo - 19/05/2009 07:46 - South Africa

Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 664

You deserved it 2 968

He started it, sorry

By Anonymous - 13/04/2022 15:01 - United States

Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 13/04/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 569

You deserved it 11 413

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 037

You deserved it 9 631

By itstillhurts - 21/12/2009 04:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 569

You deserved it 35 764

Fingered

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 108

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 115

By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 860

You deserved it 4 616

Crunch_Nugget 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:11

What the heck is a chav?

JustTh4tGuy 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 12:55

The word "Chav" is derived from Council House And Violence, CHAV. They are always Scum, walk around wearing hoodies and trakkies (jogging bottoms in the USA I believe?) And they are generally the degenerates of life that are only going to cost the rest of us money through Tax's as they will never have a job and are obsessed with alcohol, swearing and having as many spawn with as many girls as possible.

Comments

hob_fml 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 14:27

Chavs are filth. But neds in Scotland are even worse (sadly its possible). They ruin our country, scum.

jaredletolover 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 14:42

hmm it's soo hard to explain the word chav to people who live outside the uk! a chav chooses to be a chav, no one's stereotyping them.

rockmyworld 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 14:53

well, it's the thought that counts, right? they were trying to stop the OP from mugging someone..and the police just saw people fighting. that sorta discouraged my ideals of the UK..i thought police were called bobbies =) is your friend okay?

DrunkenValor 0

Monday 7 September 2009 1:38

My friend doesn't remember a thing. The lucky bastard. - I had my revenge however, I pulled him up against a wall so he could throw up... All over himself.

nellyphant 18

Sunday 3 May 2015 21:43

Bobbies, whilst sometimes still used is no longer a common term for police now pigs and gavvers are much more likely.

chelseadaggers 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 15:00

they are only called bobbies if your a cockney or live in the 1940's.

Rach_star 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 15:05

Warwickshire? No way!! haha I think you know my brother, he told me this!!

lizzzie_fml 0

Sunday 6 September 2009 16:11

Doesn't have to be teenagers. Typical Chavy kids tend to have just as Chavy parents. Any self respecting parent would care if their child turned out that way.