Dogs and Animals: You're not the boss of me

You're not the boss of me

By crazydog - 10/06/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 663

You deserved it 4 187

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Same thing different taste

Brave

By screw the cat - 24/07/2012 05:10 - United States - South Jordan

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house when we noticed her cat was missing. We saw it on the roof and so I thought I would try to look good by offering to go on the roof to retrieve it. The cat had climbed down when I got up there, and I have a fear of heights. Her mom had to help me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 121

You deserved it 23 899

Get back here!

By catgirl911 - 13/10/2009 01:44 - United States

Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 190

You deserved it 25 157

By dBLIZZARD - 09/06/2015 18:39 - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 038

You deserved it 4 034

Such a rush

By lukey101 - 01/09/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I checked my Ring cameras while at work. Ridiculously, my overweight pug-dog managed to climb up onto the ironing board and seemingly couldn’t get down. I valiantly rushed home to rescue, only for him to immediately jump down unassisted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 416

By muffins69 - 18/09/2010 02:34 - United States

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 519

You deserved it 9 546

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 4 176

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 2 894

By Coldandshoeless - 08/01/2013 10:40 - United States - Hackettstown

Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 302

You deserved it 6 440

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 10:13 - United States - Gladewater

Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 560

You deserved it 765

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 94

Miss_Michaela 10

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:50

Well, thats doggone crazy!

kaka123abc 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:56

he's spider dog!!! SPIDER DOG SPIDER DOG DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER DOG DOES

Comments

kaka123abc 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:56

he's spider dog!!! SPIDER DOG SPIDER DOG DOES WHATEVER A SPIDER DOG DOES

SeerePetrova 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:13

couldnt stop myself from laughing

jennifer93 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:32

best comment! hahaha

poisonflower 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 2:33

Does he swing from a web? No he can't, he's just a dog! Look out it's spider dog!

BossDavyy 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:56

I wish I had a dog like you

angrymexican 8

Saturday 11 June 2011 7:50

I assume your calling OP a dog

MrXerxes5 6

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:58

doggie treats. 'nuff said.

catatonicsleep 17

Saturday 11 June 2011 16:09

cook dinner... that always brings my dog running

joshuaUNWRITTEN 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 0:58

That Moment when Your Mascot is Smarter that You!

jackiemoonthepro 5

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:00

call him snoopy

TylersMB 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:03

maybe you should keep him somewhere else then? how the fffuk did he get on the roof?

stephanie911_fml 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:05

I wouldnt have climbed up there, dogs are smart enough to get down the way they got up there.

doltkid 3

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:12

hahaha, you are fail-some

dominikagirl 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:13

sounds like something my dog would do :) he's crazyyy.

DaM_iM_sO_nY 2

Saturday 11 June 2011 1:14

Are you the guy down the block to right that chases his own shadow while his dog chases his own tail .... you and your dog are a team

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Love Embarrassing Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 972

You deserved it 2 303

The Top

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 862

You deserved it 3 553

Today, I had to fire a line cook. While walking through the kitchen, I noticed a cut on his hand. When I demanded to know why it wasn’t bandaged and gloved, he scoffed and said "Real men don’t need that shit! Bandaids are for pussies!” Who knows how much of the kitchen this moron contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 85

Today, I had a dream I was on the toilet taking the longest piss known to man. Unfortunately, it was partially true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 826

You deserved it 2 942

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 912

You deserved it 42 589

Today, a little girl asked me if I was wearing a toupee. It's my real hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 389

You deserved it 152

Today, marks the third time this month my parents came to visit. I moved 5 hours away to get away from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 160

You deserved it 1 536

You're not the boss of me

Same thing different taste

Brave

Get back here!

Such a rush

Cujo

Bad boy

Clever boy

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