Kids: You're under arrest

You're under arrest

By poo_shoe123 - 31/03/2009 20:47 - United States

Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 623

You deserved it 10 233

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Same thing different taste

By hfs palm - 21/06/2015 21:37 - United States

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 647

You deserved it 2 549

Reported!

By thatcreepyteacher - 17/02/2016 04:27 - United States - Mchenry

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 847

You deserved it 1 438

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 04:44 - United States - Buena Park

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 861

You deserved it 2 519

By ihateteenagers - 30/12/2010 02:12 - United States

Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 577

You deserved it 10 080

By notthatkinkyanyway - 13/11/2011 12:46 - China

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 539

You deserved it 6 400

What's your emergency?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 23:00

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 318

Temper tantrum

By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner" - 07/02/2020 14:00

Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 341

You deserved it 299

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 293

You deserved it 365

Mad lad

By Bob H. - 26/10/2014 13:54 - Canada - Québec

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 866

You deserved it 5 424

By swarm20 - 05/02/2013 05:24 - United States - Mankato

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 503

You deserved it 52 408

13BlackCat 2

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:44

why that is the first thing that came to his teacher's mind i don't know. my first thought was cop. i think the teacher has his or her mind in the gutter

shorgenfunkel 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 2:49

Go to the school in uniform.

Comments

Atashi_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:35

Do cops get in shit for losing their cuffs?

bryan314 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:39

@51: Which is more available to a 9 year old? his own arm or his teacher's arm? hint: I bet the teacher didn't notice till it was time for recess. Children are little entropy generators....can never tell WHAT they're going to do next. That's why they're entertaining....from a distance. :)

opalitepetals 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 21:05

lol, i love children! just not when I have to be responsible for them. Like a month ago I was watching my niece and she was getting out of hand, so i called my brother for advice. "lock her in your bedroom for a while to calm down" he said. So i did. Everything was really quiet about half an hour later so I figured she got over her tantrum and was ready to come out. I went upstairs to let her out and she wasn't there! she climbed out the window and I found her in the back yard playing. My bedroom is on the second floor of my house. I have no idea how she got down. Children are nothing but mischief.

LethalErrorX 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:42

Ha, #50 took what I was thinking

ameinzinger 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:44

lmao 52 that kid sounds like quite the rebel, you should find out why he did it

piratelass 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:49

I just created an account so I could agree with #15 and #43. Amazing! :D

frege_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:49

Police don't have sex toys? No wonder you guys are such tightasses.

kidneedsalife 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:53

#27 and #39...good call. haha

generalsmith2 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 3:54

#20. you idiot, "that reeks of irresponsibility" hahahahhaa wtf. its freakin handcuffs you dumbass moron. nothin dangerous. its not like he left a bomb around. you are like one of those adults that we all hated as kids.

katieface 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:02

#19 is also a grammar fail.

brwneyedgrl1989 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:04

As the daughter of a police officer I can say that many a times when I was younger I saw my father's handcuffs and wanted to play with them...in fact when I was eight I got my very own pair (all be it fake ones but still) its something to show off, one of those "look what my daddy has but yours doesn't" things. Was it dumb for the kid to handcuff himself YES but what is worse was for the teacher to ASSUME that they were sex toys he/she should have just kept their mouths shut about that. His son should be punished for going into his parents room and going through things...and for all of you who said that the parent shouldn't have left them out, they were in THEIR room, not out in the living room or on the kitchen counter, the child should have known better than to go into his parent's room and go through things!