Work, Wanker and Intimacy: You wanker

You wanker

By dinosaucer - 12/10/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 300

You deserved it 3 563

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/04/2013 19:53 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 75 721

Rubbing one out on the sly

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 17:56 - United States - Camarillo

Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 541

You deserved it 2 450

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 762

You deserved it 884

"I'm horny, horny horny horny"

By Anonymous - 29/09/2020 23:01

Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 3 105

Next, on The Jerry Springer Show…

By DearLord - 03/04/2020 23:00 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 063

You deserved it 178

By Hormones apparently - 08/12/2015 02:32 - United States - Westerville

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 978

You deserved it 3 559

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 247

You deserved it 7 486

By his word vs mine = me suspended - 10/08/2013 18:41 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 068

You deserved it 3 096

Nighty night

By leogs23 - 07/03/2021 14:02

Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 1 802

Smooth criminal

By nickim756 - 13/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 527

You deserved it 6 239

supimnyancat 9

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:34

Sure you were.

j_cat187 19

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:42

Umm yea let me just get my.... Umm hold on a sec...almost done. O wait, my pen is in my shirt pocket. How embarrassing.

Comments

FrankHotpants 31

Wednesday 12 October 2011 8:53

Not sure how anyone can confuse that, how long does it take to get something out of your pocket??

baker969 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 19:17

About two minutes.. lol

Freeze_fml 16

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:04

Someone has a guilty conscience.

CuteDumBlonde64 11

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:25

Thats what EVERYBODY says. LOL :D

starwind3438 9

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:40

Today I was accused of playing pocket pool at work. I was jus trying to get a couple of marbles out. FML

Beck2209 0

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:52

Must be intense

fluxterp 2

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:54

You were trying to get something out of your pocket... Did it cum out?

TardxxxCake 4

Wednesday 12 October 2011 17:09

That was a sad attempt at a joke...

deathbreadstick 10

Wednesday 12 October 2011 9:56

I want to know what kinda noises you were making when reaching in your pocket.

ShyAnn29 14

Wednesday 12 October 2011 10:07

Were you moaning as your hand was in your pocket?

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Wednesday 12 October 2011 11:21

Sorry, I need to get my wallet out of my OOOOOOh....excuuzee.... let me try that again...WTF

MainPrism 16

Wednesday 12 October 2011 12:04

Sounds like a good ol' game of pocket pool 2 me lmao...

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

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You deserved it 440

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You deserved it 41 852

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I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 305

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You deserved it 6 182

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I agree, your life sucks 1 447

You deserved it 6 200