Scary, Birds and Animals: You were warned

You were warned

By kko - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 4 898

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Ohwhy - 27/10/2012 11:53 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 492

You deserved it 2 082

Customer of the day

By oped01 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Cape Coral

Today, in a department store, a woman with a parrot sitting on her shoulder was trying to return a coffee maker. She explained that she had to return the coffee maker because the bird didn't like it sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 393

You deserved it 1 062

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 3 537

Watch out!

By FlyLikeABird - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I learned how birds feel when they fly into windows. I should be getting the hospital bill for my broken nose in the mail soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 904

You deserved it 4 448

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 670

You deserved it 9 995

Sirens

By yumx24 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 16 197

The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 828

You deserved it 42 516

I'll leave you to it then…

By scared shitless in ohio - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 322

You deserved it 5 638

Roaming gangs

By 23yearoldtoddler - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 010

You deserved it 6 781

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

volley4eva1698 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 0:50

birds are so ungrateful these days

ritbbehindu 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 0:54

those are some angry birds

Comments

jaquise 4

Monday 27 June 2011 0:46

wow, learn to put it on yourself!

kei1108 13

Monday 27 June 2011 4:56

I hate it when people who don't read signs!!!

Enigmax2514 7

Monday 27 June 2011 5:16

angry birds!!! don't just stand there, run!

haileyylyynn 0

Monday 27 June 2011 9:13

u live in fl?

julialoves0521 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 1:26

i hate birds

waywil 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 4:51

Simple fix....move!

The_Jibby 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:17

This post is so poorly written it is physically hurting me.

LiamOFlaherty 9

Thursday 30 June 2011 10:48

Adventure Island in Southend? Agreed, I hare the birds there. I was shat on whilst on Rage, so I feel your pain. FYL indeed.

chessypie 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 21:02

wtf

sillysarah2013 5

Wednesday 2 November 2011 21:32

i freaking HATE the birds there. there and at busch gardens they're HORRIBLE.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 98

Today, a slightly older guy friend of mine told me that he thinks of me as a little sister. Immediately afterwards, he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, I discovered my boyfriend is incredibly ticklish on the bottom of his feet. Trying to be a bit flirty, I slowly slid two fingers down his calf and mockingly tickled his feet. He reacted by inadvertently elbowing me in the nose, nearly breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 877

You deserved it 43 596

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 679

You deserved it 4 541

Today, in my early morning haze, I tried to find the setting on my phone that would stop my cat meowing for his breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 251

You deserved it 1 376

Today, I got myself an organ donor card, just to feel wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 956

You deserved it 5 368

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 780

You deserved it 2 217

Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 219

Same thing different taste

Top comments

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