Love and Weird: You what?

You what?

By whattheheck - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 616

You deserved it 3 566

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 273

You deserved it 3 567

Safe space

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 847

You deserved it 3 146

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 292

You deserved it 6 418

By Blah - 02/08/2018 05:00

Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 268

By UHM - 06/10/2013 21:54 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 275

You deserved it 4 018

By Anonymous - 02/09/2014 21:29 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 927

You deserved it 3 565

By B'Dawk - 14/10/2018 13:30

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been putting boogers in my belly button when I don't pay attention to her while we watch tv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 696

You deserved it 1 694

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 304

You deserved it 2 729

By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 869

You deserved it 5 659

Psycho

By dating a psycho - 03/02/2022 08:00

Today, I learned that when my girlfriend was a kid, she enjoyed torturing animals for fun. Nice to know she was lying when she said the idea of harming an animal “makes her sick to her stomach.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 118

MykalaMonae 7

Monday 4 June 2012 12:01

Dont you mean, EX Girlfriend?

Adrena_fml 5

Monday 4 June 2012 12:02

.... and you're jealous. It's ok to admit.

Comments

333blondie333 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 3:11

Awkward!

trolawlawl 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 3:23

Suck it up princess, and show her you do it better than her dolls

geabby_dan 5

Tuesday 5 June 2012 4:20

get out. now.

SimpleGr33n 4

Tuesday 5 June 2012 4:42

From guy to guy be careful if she gives you a condom... Check for holes

funnytruth 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 4:42

That's very awkward

winning11 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 4:46

Lol if she's like four then it weird but acceptable. If she's 20 ish then it's time to call it a quit. Lol

Desereyful 0

Tuesday 5 June 2012 4:52

Wtf?????

rubbertoast 2

Tuesday 5 June 2012 5:03

they have to eat something....right?

desertpunk75 11

Tuesday 5 June 2012 5:06

I think that's a hint OP. Make sure you don't have holes in your condoms.

brhodes_09 1

Tuesday 5 June 2012 5:17

Wow... Just Wow.

Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Social Media Love AITA Am I overreacting? Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Dentist Health Animals Dogs Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 064

You deserved it 5 144

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 2 846

The Top

Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 212

Today, while trying anal for the first time, my partner pulled out but the condom got stuck. It was left it dangling outta my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 368

Today, I had a conversation with a girl on Tinder, for the third time this month. Just like the other two girls, she turned out to be a prostitute. Only prostitutes will give me the time of day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 198

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 808

You deserved it 9 920

Today, I wound up cleaning vomit out of the window track of my car at midnight, in the nicest dress I own, after my husband got completely wasted at his office Christmas party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 801

You deserved it 3 321

Today, I was dumped once again, all because I had to cancel a date due to a fibromyalgia flare up that confined me to bed for a few days. This happens with every guy I get close to. I think I need to come to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t even bother dating, and that I’ll be alone with my cats forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 171