Love: Young at heart

Young at heart

By If IQs could be negative... - 26/12/2014 19:28 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 622

You deserved it 5 723

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 644

You deserved it 36 734

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 156

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 662

You deserved it 55 827

Grooming

By kdehshaden - 30/04/2012 08:25 - United States

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 647

You deserved it 56 839

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 636

You deserved it 3 066

You're fired

By Pyrophobia - 13/09/2021 23:00

Today, my husband nearly set our apartment on fire, all because he attempted to burn any evidence of his affair with his mistress, including the used latex condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 146

Remember planking?

By say dump him and i'll kill you - 29/12/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Soham

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 748

You deserved it 4 109

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 10:00

Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, who I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 743

You deserved it 1 652

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 475

You deserved it 142

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 995

You deserved it 2 038

ZY1431 24

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:31

well id say if he has to bug you for sex and you finding it great that he wont be bugging you for sex, there's a problem.

ZoroMiHawk 25

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:30

Well, your husband had the balls to go ahead with the bet. Whether he still literally has the balls is another question though.

Comments

Mystery_Unsolved 16

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:44

Yeah and I bet you most people would have more common sense than to take a bet where you have to burn your pubes with a lighter.

Puddingcess07 9

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:44

What a happy marriage

olpally 32

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:50

Please don't breed with him. the stupid is just too much for you to handle. :/ yikes!

figgity83 15

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:54

Yes your husband is a moron and deserves the pain but really if he has to beg you for sex then maybe he can do better than you

IAmzephyr 22

Saturday 27 December 2014 4:53

shots fired

orbit 22

Saturday 27 December 2014 5:34

More like cannons fired

RobinGoodfellow 47

Saturday 27 December 2014 13:04

Because all relationships are about sex?? She doesn't owe him sex. Maybe he sucks at it.

Tymaster5 22

Sunday 28 December 2014 4:57

More like nuclear weapons fired

regib 8

Monday 29 December 2014 3:39

Then that's on her for not telling him what she likes. My marriage isn't all about sex but I'd be ticked if my husband did something that and I lost out!

penel96 15

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:56

How old is your husband?

wanted_2_want 40

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:57

The explanation he has give to the ER nurses. Hilarious!!!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:58

No sex is an UP side?

Lancer033 5

Sunday 28 December 2014 5:12

for some that stupid not to breed is good for the entire human race.

xxNIGHTxx_fml 17

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:58

hopefully he learned his lesson, OP!

grtfuldeadlovr 27

Saturday 27 December 2014 1:09

Lets all hope he hasnt reproduced with anyone yet including yourself.

NeoMatrix25 12

Saturday 27 December 2014 1:11

Sad thing is, somewhere at some point in time, these "people" will be in charge of important parts of our lives that we depend on. First its burning off your own pubes, next they are raising taxes and cutting old age pensions and then...the world!