Love: Young at heart

Young at heart

By If IQs could be negative... - 26/12/2014 19:28 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, I had to drive my husband to hospital after he tried to burn his pubes off with a lighter as part of a bet. On the upside, he probably won't be bugging me for sex for a while. On the downside, I'm married to a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 628

You deserved it 5 724

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Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 644

You deserved it 36 738

You, your sex is on fire

By Anonymous - 26/08/2022 18:00

Today, I mixed drunkenness with sensual oils, a lot of whiskey, a massage, and scented candles, which resulted in accidentally setting my husband's back hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 160

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 662

You deserved it 55 838

Grooming

By kdehshaden - 30/04/2012 08:25 - United States

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 651

You deserved it 56 860

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 637

You deserved it 3 068

You're fired

By Pyrophobia - 13/09/2021 23:00

Today, my husband nearly set our apartment on fire, all because he attempted to burn any evidence of his affair with his mistress, including the used latex condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 147

Remember planking?

By say dump him and i'll kill you - 29/12/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Soham

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 752

You deserved it 4 109

By Anonymous - 18/01/2017 10:00

Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, who I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 750

You deserved it 1 653

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 480

You deserved it 143

Great balls of fire

By Ouch - 19/01/2017 08:19

Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 996

You deserved it 2 039

ZY1431 24

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:31

well id say if he has to bug you for sex and you finding it great that he wont be bugging you for sex, there's a problem.

ZoroMiHawk 25

Saturday 27 December 2014 0:30

Well, your husband had the balls to go ahead with the bet. Whether he still literally has the balls is another question though.

Comments

smeboo 12

Sunday 28 December 2014 8:54

Not sure about previous events, but I'd find that quite comical from your perspective! :P

orsombre_fml 11

Sunday 28 December 2014 11:16

Get a divorce. Give both of you a chance to find a more suitable partner.

SkullSphinx 10

Sunday 28 December 2014 19:02

Better a moron than a jerk!

marklar88 2

Monday 29 December 2014 5:02

idk what's worse your husband burning his pubes or the fact that you're happy he won't be asking for sex. double fml?

Glasshoney 9

Monday 29 December 2014 7:13

Lol. I totally relate! My husband is so stupid sometimes. Even our teenage kids know it and plan around his stupidity. BAHAHA...I tell them to be nice to their Dad & respect him but...thankfully they got my intelligence ?