Health: Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had...

By Anonymous - 03/06/2015 10:15 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 971

You deserved it 3 122

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Same thing different taste

By aragmir - 18/12/2016 06:10 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, while working at a nursing home, I was alone in the station and figured I could sneak one out. It wound up being very loud, and I could hear the faint snickering of a patient in the next room. Every time he saw me for the rest of the day he would burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 701

You deserved it 2 875

By janedoe - 12/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I was volunteering at a nursing home calling bingo numbers. One woman stood up and started making noises, so I assumed she had won and started clapping. She then fell on the floor and died of a heart attack. I essentially applauded her death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 811

You deserved it 12 748

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 471

You deserved it 4 937

Fit as a fiddle

By Anonymous - 09/07/2018 20:30

Today, I, a man in his 40s, had to be taken to the hospital because I was laughing so hard at an old Disney movie that my diaphragm went into spasms. I stopped breathing and passed out for a few minutes, and my son had to call an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 017

You deserved it 435

By Ashley J. - 01/03/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 289

You deserved it 17 546

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 16:00

Today, my violent geriatric patient was trying to escape the facility. When I intervened, she poked my belly then told me I was squishy and that I might explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 937

You deserved it 6 052

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 166

You deserved it 5 808

By Anonymous - 16/12/2012 00:46 - United States - Detroit

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 553

You deserved it 2 554

Easy mistake

By helper - 01/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 673

You deserved it 34 835

BadDay98 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I guess in this case laughter isn't the best medicine

jsni2132 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Well, I guess the joke was to die for. All jokes aside, that sucks, OP. Hope the guy is ok!

Comments

BadDay98 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I guess in this case laughter isn't the best medicine

JazzHandsFML 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:35

brings a new meaning to rofl

wheresmymary 22

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:51

At least he died happy!

NeatNit 32

Thursday 4 June 2015 8:04

#1, I'm not sure. maybe we need to make him laugh even harder!

Cads1 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 8:21

Wish I knew some killer jokes like that.

BoredomIsReal 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:16

Have you see jacksfilms.

Firecubitch 5

Thursday 4 June 2015 20:26

Doesn't do wonders when you have diarrhea either.

ShowMeKay 20

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

I'm so sorry OP :( At least you made that resident happy, don't be too hard on yourself. Hope they survived the heart attack.

mds9986 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 20:01

If the patient was so unstable laughing cause him to have a heart attack, he was probably on the way out anyway and it wasn't OPs fault

jsni2132 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Well, I guess the joke was to die for. All jokes aside, that sucks, OP. Hope the guy is ok!

Hoopachi 19

Thursday 4 June 2015 14:21

This comment reminded me of that one scene in The Lion King where Scar told Simba "It's to die for"

Daevas 18

Thursday 4 June 2015 17:23

Makes me kind of want to hear the joke.. Or maybe not..

MrEatYourDog 14

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:04

Wouldn't be the first time

WOTAN1488 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:06

Just trying to kill them off quicker I see :/ lol

ColonelCusswords 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:06

You knocked em dead...

ohjoy15 33

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:06

That's a pretty good way to go... What was the joke??

maggiefox 25

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:08

I see you're the life of the party... ?

akai4986 16

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:08

OMG , laughter isn't the best medicine after all

erindgentry 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:10

So is this HOMIEcide? Get it? No? Okay...

flopstar 21

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:17

No I don't..

ColonelCusswords 24

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:24

i love and hate the way everyone on fml likes to gang up and shit all over puns

erindgentry 28

Thursday 4 June 2015 7:26

Cause homies make you laugh. And the resident had a heart attack laughing

Grayness_ 26

Thursday 4 June 2015 9:23

She was being sarcastic hon Lol

TheIronFez 13

Thursday 4 June 2015 19:00

Nobody got it.

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The Top

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 575

You deserved it 3 053

Today, I had a meeting with HR that resulted in me being dismissed for poor performance. I was confused because up until that point, my line manager had said my performance was exemplary. Turns out it wasn't, and he didn't tell me because he didn't want me to be stressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 805

You deserved it 338

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 119

Today, I was chatting with a guy on a dating site. He accused me of being a liar and trying to catfish him after I told him I like my steak medium-rare. According to him, that can’t possibly be true because black people only eat their steaks well done. No exceptions. What an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 174

You deserved it 247

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 022

You deserved it 2 881

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I agree, your life sucks 32 798

You deserved it 9 979

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I agree, your life sucks 15 304

You deserved it 27 227

Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 911

You deserved it 4 586

Same thing different taste

Fit as a fiddle

Easy mistake

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