Health: Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's...

By monkeywrench - 30/08/2015 11:29 - Sweden

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 1 794

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Same thing different taste

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 94

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 96

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 866

By Redhairchick - 06/11/2016 07:08

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 065

You deserved it 933

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 746

You deserved it 893

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 482

You deserved it 4 811

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 173

Food poisoning

By brown and sticky - 16/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 541

You deserved it 205

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 660

You deserved it 155

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 367

You deserved it 104

limegreenpoopie 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:43

Oh I'm so sorry :( that sucks

inhindsight 11

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:52

Now that's not a cute look at all

Comments

limegreenpoopie 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:43

Oh I'm so sorry :( that sucks

_imacooldude_ 10

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:44

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

cameron6731 13

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

meli1195 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:50

because it isn't ifunny. comments are displayed in the order they were posted.

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:50

cause its too close to the "shitty situation" comment

MassiDelta 28

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:46

Talk about a... Shitty situation! Anybody? No? Ok...

MassiDelta 28

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:49

I know that was a pretty... Crappy pun!

MassiDelta 28

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:42

I'm serious, these puns really suck. I'm sorry

thatnakedguy 17

Sunday 30 August 2015 20:11

Much like the plunger the college would of used after the incident

J_Kertz 14

Tuesday 1 September 2015 11:21

NO. GOD. PLEASE GOD NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

RenamonFucksLuna 21

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:48

Well... Damn dude...

MagnusDeus 24

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:49

That just sounds like an all around bummer.

inhindsight 11

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:52

Now that's not a cute look at all

chriss2015 13

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:58

Hopefully they where understanding. Sorry about your luck OP ?

bigbluetardis 21

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:14

That's awful to hear OP. I hope you feel better soon!

WOTAN1488 24

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:30

Shittiness intensifies.

MandyO 15

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:34

How did the colleague only have three sheets of toilet paper in the whole house while hosting a party?

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:52

agreed. that is a poor host

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I agree, your life sucks 66 972

You deserved it 3 496

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I agree, your life sucks 31 619

You deserved it 3 896

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 38 619

You deserved it 16 479

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I agree, your life sucks 30 507

You deserved it 2 376

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I agree, your life sucks 29 551

You deserved it 11 302

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I agree, your life sucks 15 834

You deserved it 1 079

Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 2 133

Today, I took my 17 year-old dog, who had been my best friend my entire life right from when I was born, to be euthanised. I had booked in advance. The vet ambled in all spritely and cheerfully asked, "Just here for a checkup, aye?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 087

You deserved it 1 542

Same thing different taste

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