Health: Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's...

By monkeywrench - 30/08/2015 11:29 - Sweden

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 1 793

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Same thing different taste

The squits

By Cliff - 11/10/2024 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 92

Hot lava from both ends

By SickBoi - 30/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Cambridge

Today, I was suffering from food poisoning and had constant diarrhea, along with feeling nauseous. I couldn't hold my vomit in and rushed to the toilet, but due to the pressure, I pooped while still in pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 96

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 788

You deserved it 11 865

By Redhairchick - 06/11/2016 07:08

Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 061

You deserved it 932

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 893

Cringe

By mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 475

You deserved it 4 811

Fools rush in

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 10:00 - United States - Utica

Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 172

Food poisoning

By brown and sticky - 16/01/2020 14:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I got food poisoning. After leaving class 4 times to poop, I sharted in the school bus on the ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 205

Get rid of the evidence!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 17:11

Today, while my roommate was taking a bath, I became horribly sick out of nowhere. Since the bathroom was occupied, I ended up having explosive diarrhea in an Amazon box in my bedroom, which I immediately ran out to the dumpster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 154

Almost there, we're almost there…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I was rushing to walk home because my stomach was upset. I dodged multiple people, getting closer and closer, got my front door open, got up my stairs, and then lost control of my bowels on the top step. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 104

limegreenpoopie 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:43

Oh I'm so sorry :( that sucks

inhindsight 11

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:52

Now that's not a cute look at all

Comments

limegreenpoopie 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:43

Oh I'm so sorry :( that sucks

_imacooldude_ 10

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:44

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

cameron6731 13

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

meli1195 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:50

because it isn't ifunny. comments are displayed in the order they were posted.

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:50

cause its too close to the "shitty situation" comment

MassiDelta 28

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:46

Talk about a... Shitty situation! Anybody? No? Ok...

MassiDelta 28

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:49

I know that was a pretty... Crappy pun!

MassiDelta 28

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:42

I'm serious, these puns really suck. I'm sorry

thatnakedguy 17

Sunday 30 August 2015 20:11

Much like the plunger the college would of used after the incident

J_Kertz 14

Tuesday 1 September 2015 11:21

NO. GOD. PLEASE GOD NO. NO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

RenamonFucksLuna 21

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:48

Well... Damn dude...

MagnusDeus 24

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:49

That just sounds like an all around bummer.

inhindsight 11

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:52

Now that's not a cute look at all

chriss2015 13

Sunday 30 August 2015 18:58

Hopefully they where understanding. Sorry about your luck OP ?

bigbluetardis 21

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:14

That's awful to hear OP. I hope you feel better soon!

WOTAN1488 24

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:30

Shittiness intensifies.

MandyO 15

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:34

How did the colleague only have three sheets of toilet paper in the whole house while hosting a party?

RedPillSucks 31

Sunday 30 August 2015 19:52

agreed. that is a poor host

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work My ex Jealousy Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

Today, thinking no one was home, I decided to be a little frisky with my boyfriend. I guess I was being loud and woke up my sleeping autistic brother the room over. Halfway through, he burst through the door, panicking. He thought I was having another one of my asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 981

You deserved it 9 781

The Top

Today, it's my birthday and I celebrated with friends. I now have 34 individual copies of the first Twilight movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 1 885

Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to self: never again let my boyfriend make one of his fantasies come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 139

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 617

Today, I have several projects to finish and one exam tomorrow. There's this one project I do not know how to do, and nobody has told me the goddamn topics for tomorrow's exam, plus for some reason, there are too many ants crawling in my office, desk, and a few on my PC monitor. I rarely eat in my office. So, yeah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 419

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 237

You deserved it 3 720

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 397

You deserved it 3 572

Same thing different taste

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