Nice try, Sharon

By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 10:38 - United States - Fountain Valley

Spicy
Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML
I agree, your life sucks 64 648
You deserved it 25 585
Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

ladybuglet 22

Instead of buying a card, use the money on extra batteries.

571 17
DocBastard 38

Why do people bother trying to lie like this? You think you're the first girl to buy a *****? It's like the guy who buy a Penthouse and condoms. "No, the Penthouse is for my, uh, girlfriend. She likes the articles."

383 13

Comments

Ashamed_Sister 60

It surely wasn't the first time the cashier saw a cover-up like this.

146 3
challan 19

of course she did! First time I went into an adult store with my girlfriends we made up this elaborate story of throwing a bachelorette party. Total BS. Then it gets easier once you realize everyone is in there to diddle or wank.

123 2
DyslexicPanda 12

Does it matter, 60?

38 5
ladybuglet 22

Instead of buying a card, use the money on extra batteries.

571 17
BlowinChronic 18

Vibrators and ****** are different things. A ***** doesn't need any batteries.

148 7
ladybuglet 22

Whoops...I totally misread that! I know the difference between a ***** and a vibrator. Enjoy your new *****!

66 6
ravenh1979 13

Absolutely right!! Heehee lol

3 14
hemz_fml 13

I'm not going to ask how you knew the difference #9

4 14
kdbernie10 3

Gotta give the guy some props. If that wasn't for you that would have been awkward as hell. You should have denied it just to make him feel like a dick.

229 10
Life_sucks_13 6

Lol woulda been funny. OP could have just said "it's for a gag gift. Ever heard of it?" Lol

30 4
Jjimen1654 9

No, Op should have said, "i already have one and its a nicer model"

32 3
DocBastard 38

Why do people bother trying to lie like this? You think you're the first girl to buy a *****? It's like the guy who buy a Penthouse and condoms. "No, the Penthouse is for my, uh, girlfriend. She likes the articles."

383 13
SuperSofie 23

I would think you'd rather get tissues to go with the penthouse than condoms ;-)

61 4
Pleonasm 35

People will do anything to cover shame; no matter how petty the excuse, if it gives the mind ease, it's fair game. "No honey it's not what it looks like, I slipped and fell in!" "No mom, it's not what it looks like, the sock is because I'm cold there!" "No cashier, it's not what it looks like, this ***** is for my friend!' See? Lies people tell others, but mostly themselves.

102 7
MrConcise 34

The condoms are to trick yourself into thinking it's someone else. They go well with sitting on your hand, eh?

29 1
Jlow17 4

I just eat my cum no need for tissues

13 93
Pleonasm 35

"No, but it's sterile and I like the taste."

59 4
MerrikBarbarian 9

I've never understood the logic. I mean, honestly... A place that sells sex toys sees a lot of people buy them. Most shop owners are in the business because they like toys themselves. They have likely used many kinds if toys themselves and are great at explaining how they work, pros and cons, etc. I love trading notes with shop owners as I make custom toys. People should not be embarrassed by it... Or if you really find it that mortifying to admit you are human and have urges- order online. :p

44 3
cuppycakeslove 20

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
30 98
Axipiter 24

And her own... Uhhhh... Never mind...

32 3
ravenh1979 13

Lmao!! Yep.. Poor thing :(

4 14
NagainaFier 16

What, 61? A girl can't be happy without a man? Damn, I must miserable then!

13 2
Martinez0285 28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
gloooooria 14

Why purchase one if you're embarrassed? Buy it and own it. Shit, buy two with a smile on your face!

169 4
PrincessPesa 20

Amen! Knowing what turns you on and gets you off makes for better sex overall- solo or with a partner. But if you're really that bashful, order it online and save yourself the trouble of an alibi!

27 0
MerrikBarbarian 9

Amen to this! How can you tell a partner why turns you on if you aren't comfortable with yourself? I suggest in person buying to newbies just because shop owners are usually amazing, helpful people who will be sure you get what you will enjoy. Online is fantastic not just for the bashful but you can get unique items or better prices sometimes.

13 2
asherm 15

True, got my blue dolphin from Spencer's. walked in, got it, got grin from hot cashier (shoulda asked if he could help me haha). Own it!

23 2
QQmore_fml 18

Might as well just save the money and be honest, you might not look lonely the cashier probably see's this a thousand times a day and says it to everyone getting a ***** and a B-day card.

73 1
Swaggintotehmax 2

I would like this comment but I don't want to take it off of 69 likes... lol

1 0