By Zekrome - 05/05/2014 07:53 - Canada - Markham

Spicy
Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 493
You deserved it 24 065

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments

Amanyyyyyy 29

Profanity isn't necessary, dammit. If this was a stranger then that seems like an inappropriate response either way. I don't really know how to vote this one

Amanyyyyyy 29

You heard 13, OP. Stop ******* cursing!

I've heard parents say that to their kids, and then wonder why the children have a problem with profanity.

can we all stop swearing for **** sake!

#13 is an idiot. Said "profanity isn't necessary, dammit" well isn't that profanity?

Curses are profanity Hell,Damn, crap aren't curses

incoherentrmblr 21

I think Clerks 2 has you beat for ***********... I mean interspecies erotica...

Axel5238 29

Do as they say not as they do. Really though OP if you can't say love animals without saying **** eh.. you might want to reconsider your vocabulary.

**** that, profanity is a sentence enhancer!

Why the **** are all you ****** people swearing! Holy ****

Actually they are! Profanity is any religious-based imprecatory word e.g. Hell, damn, Gorblimey, etc. ("Damn", by the way, is the sincere wish that the person or object be consigned to everlasting torment under the eternal displeasure of God.) Obscenity is any scatological or physiological-based imprecatory word, e.g. ****, shit, dick, etc. Curses are any wish for misfortune to befall the target of one's imprecations. Words like crap and darn and heck are Bowdlerized "child-safe" versions of profanities and obscenities. In the context of the FML, of course, "*******" is used as a verbal intensifier akin to "truly" or "dearly", only more obscene. If you don't know what "imprecation" and "imprecatory" mean, the dictionary is your friend and can expand your vocabulary to the point where "*******" is not the only verbal intensifier you know!

Amanyyyyyy 29

126- If you think "heck" is "child safe"... You should probably know it was originally meant to be a cross between "hell" and "****."

Bodgie 9

Unless OP actually enjoys ******* animals I'm not sure how that's a Freudian slip

I think that was the point of the joke

Thanks #45 it was meant to be a joke. In all my years on the internet I have still yet to find a way to accurately portray my sarcasm through simple text..

Yeah, someone should invent some sarcasm mark which we can use at the end of our sentences.

I might just have to buy a new keyboard if that happens..

#82 husband and I thought the same thing. We decided that this face :/ At the end if a text means sarcasm for us. Really helps us anyway. Someone definitely should start a universal sign for sarcasm in text.

**** that, if they're too stupid to pick up on sarcasm they're too stupid to enjoy the joke.

My friend and I many years ago used to say "S" at the end of the sentence if it was sarcasm. Similar!

I'm sure they could figure out what you meant.

Yea, but I'm willing to bet OP's "i ride ponies" t-shirt didn't help the situation.

What about his T-shirt that reads: "I come here to get drunk and **** bitches"?

I remember that shirt. That's the one that said "doggy style" on the back right? We need to take OP shopping for a new wardrobe. That'll clear up the misunderstandings.

Everybody loves ******* bitches. The difference is that you're more of a sausage dog type of person.

Well thats one awkward mix up of words

The kind of mix up that would end up in him staying away from my dog for awhile hah

I'm suprised no one has made a "doggy style" joke yet.

Those types of people get sent to the doghouse.

cryssycakesx3 22

maybe someone will throw him a bone..

Slip of the tongue. Happens to everyone. Hope it worked out. FYL

Vanshikap 24

thank you for this OP. its been 5 minutes,i still haven't stopped laughing.

I'm pretty sure they knew what you meant. It's ok OP.