We're bad at this

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 20:24 - United States - Chandler

Spicy
Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 497
You deserved it 12 060
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Top comments

everton99 16

At the rate the post was going I truly thought he was going to say "and then I discovered she really was dead. FML"

311 2

Comments

baseballbv 17

Don't have a one night stand then? Then it may be what you're hoping for

10 26
Garrison21 11

Key words you hooked up with a chick from a club.

10 2
Soviet_American 29

Most awkward eye contact ever made, probably happened in that time.

33 1
Lebeaugars95 20

Doesn't matter, had sex

7 24
ThepurpleCow 19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Almost_Positive 18

This one doesn't sound like it's his fault.. He was doing all of the work. She was being a starfish

218 7
brettrb 18

It takes two people for good sex. Laying motionless usually doesn't help anybody.

195 3
flutterby789 8

its her fault she should have put more effort in.

33 2
doodlecloud 26

My first thought was 'maybe she's just really, really drunk'. Or possibly drink spiked? I dunno, I'm sure OP is a nice guy...but it does sound a bit dodgy. I think I'd be more concerned about if she was okay. Hopefully he's just exaggerating a bit.

13 35
ironik69 31

Being a starfish. LMFAO. I will have to use that one.

22 5
Louve55555_fml 5

Why haven't you told her ? If she thinks it's healthy and normal, she will continue :c

2 4
kolk777 10

Because it was most likely just a one night stand.

5 0
everton99 16

At the rate the post was going I truly thought he was going to say "and then I discovered she really was dead. FML"

311 2
CobraLazerFace 21

Plot twist! OP is actually DMX! "Got blood on my dick cause I ****** a corpse" - DMX "Bring Your Whole Crew"

5 80
neutralize 12

Well, think of it this way: at least you weren't ******* an ACTUAL corpse!

204 8
fallingbackward 2

My friend had to do that once, he said she never even noticed the lack of semen...maybe she was a corpse?

89 1
tigerisabelle 31

Well, at least you'll never see her again, and it'll make for a funny story after like twenty beers, cause you're gonna need them to forget that.

117 1
Le_Doctor 10

She was just being lazy... Wanted you to do all the work

43 7
Mauskau 35

So when girls do that do they seriously just lie there and do nothing at all? No reactions, no nails, nothing? I'd stop straight away if I had no reaction and ask them to move. "Your turn."

128 4