We're bad at this

By Anonymous - 12/08/2014 20:24 - United States - Chandler

Spicy
Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 501
You deserved it 12 062
New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

everton99 16

At the rate the post was going I truly thought he was going to say "and then I discovered she really was dead. FML"

311 2

Comments

baseballbv 17

Don't have a one night stand then? Then it may be what you're hoping for

10 26
Garrison21 11

Key words you hooked up with a chick from a club.

10 2
Soviet_American 29

Most awkward eye contact ever made, probably happened in that time.

33 1
Lebeaugars95 20

Doesn't matter, had sex

7 24
ThepurpleCow 19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Almost_Positive 18

This one doesn't sound like it's his fault.. He was doing all of the work. She was being a starfish

218 7
brettrb 18

It takes two people for good sex. Laying motionless usually doesn't help anybody.

195 3
flutterby789 8

its her fault she should have put more effort in.

33 2
doodlecloud 26

My first thought was 'maybe she's just really, really drunk'. Or possibly drink spiked? I dunno, I'm sure OP is a nice guy...but it does sound a bit dodgy. I think I'd be more concerned about if she was okay. Hopefully he's just exaggerating a bit.

13 35
ironik69 31

Being a starfish. LMFAO. I will have to use that one.

22 5
Louve55555_fml 5

Why haven't you told her ? If she thinks it's healthy and normal, she will continue :c

2 4
kolk777 10

Because it was most likely just a one night stand.

5 0
everton99 16

At the rate the post was going I truly thought he was going to say "and then I discovered she really was dead. FML"

311 2
CobraLazerFace 21

Plot twist! OP is actually DMX! "Got blood on my dick cause I ****** a corpse" - DMX "Bring Your Whole Crew"

5 80
neutralize 12

Well, think of it this way: at least you weren't ******* an ACTUAL corpse!

204 8
fallingbackward 2

My friend had to do that once, he said she never even noticed the lack of semen...maybe she was a corpse?

89 1
tigerisabelle 31

Well, at least you'll never see her again, and it'll make for a funny story after like twenty beers, cause you're gonna need them to forget that.

117 1
Le_Doctor 10

She was just being lazy... Wanted you to do all the work

43 7
Mauskau 35

So when girls do that do they seriously just lie there and do nothing at all? No reactions, no nails, nothing? I'd stop straight away if I had no reaction and ask them to move. "Your turn."

128 4