You mean... Santa's not real?

Not even close

All of the 11-year-olds that peruse this site are gonna be upset.

After that, your son should have just blurted out that neither is The Tooth Fairy.

He's a good kid. I find it ironic that we call it a religious holiday, and in turn we feed a lie to kids (and then find excuses for why it's ok to lie to them).

There's this psycho-religious guy back in my home town. Last year, he and his Super Christian groupies took a cardboard cutout of Santa Claus to the gun range, and shot him all to bits. Google Repent Amarillo, and check out their Facebook page.

Who was that man who snuck into my house last Christmas then?

Me

But I remeber him being good looking. Jeez look what a year can do to you kids.

I can see a lump of coal in your future..

But if Santa is not real who is going to give me the coal?

thats when you bring the pain, OP

86 He is real, don't worry. I'll give you the coal though. Santa doesn't give coal anymore for some reason. He came into the house an I caught him but he then was taking money from me. He said there had to be some way to buy the coal. I asked where my present was and it turned out to be a picture of me and Mickey at Disney. I thought it was nice but it looked like the one I already had in my kitchen. He went on his way but I never heard my jerk neighbors getting coal. They instead got robbed. Serves them right. I am lucky I didn't get robbed. So the moral of the story is that you should always wash behind your ears.

lol

You got this from COMIC RAGE

True, but the older kid knew little kids believe in Santa. He shouldn't have been so loud by so many little kids..

The awkward silence interrupted by random crying noises

I'm a teen and sort of agree, but heck no! If my kid did that, they'd be in so much trouble! I don't care how bored the brat is, they don't need to ruin it for kids. Although I also don't agree with telling your kids some fat dude is watching you and gives you random presents.. But whatever.

Sandusky #BUTTSEX

Sandusky #BUTTSEX

My youngest brother is 3. I actually really enjoy still talking about Santa although my other brother ruined it for me when he was in first grade and I was in fourth grade..

WHAT SANTA IS NT REAL AHHHHHH F..K

Am I the only one who noticed that he started a list of one item?

Don't worry, you're not the only one xD my editing skills totally did not catch that, And I'm not saying the kid shouldn't be in trouble; I'm just saying the parent kinda got themselves into this mess. As a side note: Ahem, he?

There is a very short time period (about 5-8 years) in which a child either is afraid of Santa or knows he's not real. Yeah, we teenagers are not retarded. We know that everyone will hear it, and how else do you tell people. Technically, OP's kid saved all those parents from having to explain that.

6n : c I ,:m fk. T l. P u

Sad thing is, I haven't believed in Santa since I was 5.. Having older siblings like that suck as far as make believe objects go.

Sorry about that my iPhone turned off while I was trying to text

and the parents of those children will no longer get the delicious home made cookies. that's why you would get glares from the parents.

Noone said it was a guy

Their son is a total dick

I know 46, it said eldest and nothing about a son but I just assumed because it sounds more like something a boy would say

Sure, but I don't think any kid under 10 should have to know Santa isn't real, if I were a parent of one of those kids I would be angry

Christmas still isn't the same since I found out the truth... *sigh*

10 - I'm gonna tell my kids that Santa is fake. I'd rather avoid the dream crushing agony that'll happen sooner or later. That's what my parents did.

SHUT UP GUISE, SANTA IS REAL, OK :c

I agree with 58, but for a different reason. We try to tell our kids not to lie and that lying is wrong, but then we shove this huge lie down their throats. I find it kind of ironic: We lie about a big fat guy that will give them coal if THEY lie or are bad. What kind of message are we sending? Hypocrisy...yay!

@13: I agree. Most children that go see Santa are very young anyways (between 2-7) and are just fully grasping the idea of Santa. I'd be livid if I was one of those parents!!! FYL OP but YDI for making the oldest child wait with you in line!

Omg Santa is real wtf you talking about!!! Don't lie hypocrite ;)

83: I think it is good for kids to have something like Santa to beleive in. The world is a harsh place and it is nice when they can have something like Santa to look forward to. I wasn't crushed when i learned he was not real , but i was older and had asked my parents myself. I didn't blame my parents for "lying" to me, as you put it. I am glad I had Santa as a little girl.

You mean = they are, so it's= they're! I'm sorry to correct you, but some dickwad did it to me! Funny thing is, this is FML, which is an abbreviation. So, I don't get it. I understood you.

Good thing crazyrunnergirl is not technically illiterate. As long as we're talking about using language correctly...

Oops sorry! I didn't realize I spelled it like that !

29- abbreviations have nothing to do with spelling things INCORRECTLY. their and they're have different meanings.

What's with people always correcting other people's mistakes on here?? Do they get off on it or something??

Grow adults have imaginary friends they talk to, think the world is 6000 years old, believe stories about a zombie who came back for a meal after being nailed to a piece of wood, and that an ark was built to house all the animals (except for a very large group of massive animals that were somehow forgotten). Is thinking a kid, probably ten, believes in a fat man giving out presents that ridiculous?

I think the fat man giving out presents sounds more plausible to me.

18- its people's belief. Dont put them down just because you think it is stupid. Everyone has different beliefs for different things. Im not a bible banger or anything but im just saying not to be close minded.

I think 18 should just shut the **** up and go to hell to do us all a favor

50 - just because a book says something with no proof does not make it acceptable to believe. I believe in what makes the very computer I'm typing this on work, not a book of fables with sometimes questionable morals, written by many authors, all hundreds of years after this supposedly happened.

134 - first law of thermodynamics only holds in classical mechanics. In quantum mechanics particles randomly pop into and out of existence, such as virtual photons. This is a result of the uncertainty principle. The universe actually violates no known laws because it's sum is with a Planck unit of zero.

18- yea I fat man in a sleigh flying to every home with magic reindeers delivering gifts. So believable

You know that most Santas are moonlighting priests, right?

I see what you did there

You see it's funny because mall Santas like to give to lil kids up the butt, to strong? O well

My friend is scared of mall Santas for this exact reason: pedophilia. I have to agree with her, too, because Santa (if he was real) is a total stalker, and the mall Santas run over people's feet, shove lies down little children's throats along with the parents, and are creepy in general.

Or are most priests moonlighting santas?

previous Fml reference