By Janie - 10/01/2012 05:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 566
You deserved it 4 018
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Top comments

Savra_fml 17

Chage your relationship to "Single" as well, and then as a status write "The key is on the counter, along with your penis enlargement pills. Going to feel what a real man is like. Your brother says "hi"." FYL though. Better off without a tosser like him.

243 3
WaSiSimiLang 8

Lol? Pussy was too cowardly to do it face to face? You deserve better

235 13

Comments

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Nope. Just a cowardly douchebag of a (now) ex-boyfriend. OP, don't even bother with this immature fool. Not worth your time at all.

52 4
Androidz 0

I agree with 4. If someone is enough of a pussy to break up over computers or texting, they deserve to be forever alone. Op you will find love somewhere, and I hope things get better.

30 1
AnonymousTroll 2

Keep the key, ruin whatever other relationship he's having.

34 3
xXxIracebethxXx 14

#24 - No. If OP were to do that, she would be just as immature as her ex. She should be the bigger person here and try her best to move on from him. Period.

18 17
Clamcreepy 7

#17 alone forever is a little harsh don't you think? For all we know OP could've been cheating on her boyfriend for years. he probably was to pussy to say it to her face so he did what any cowardly man would do...from a distance

12 6
TheDrifter 23

The way op's bf phrased the status makes it sound like he's tried to break up with her before and she didn't believe him. I vote op is a class 5 stalker in denial over the bf being a cowardly douche.

9 4
Kypopz 9

61 - Exactly. Everyone immediately takes the OP's side, but we never know. She probably cheated on him or she's just ******* annoying.

6 3
downtime 12

121 Agree. If someone were doing this as an act of cowardice it wouldn't be so blunt and rude. Sounds like she did something and his response was to do it in the most disrespectful public way he could think of...Or maybe hes just a douche. We will never really know for sure...

3 2
AmbrosiaWriter 17

Actually, the way the OP phrased it made me think he knew that people change their facebook status as jokes/it might look like a friend got onto his facebook and changed it (because, you know, he was too much of a PUSSY to talk to her on the phone/face-to-face) therefore, he said he wasn't kidding. Context.Context.Context.

1 1
WaSiSimiLang 8

Lol? Pussy was too cowardly to do it face to face? You deserve better

235 13
WaSiSimiLang 8

Is it weird that I imitated the fat butcher from "wanted" while typing out this post? "here pussy pussy pussy pussy... Here pussy pussy pussy pussy..." *and then knifed op's ex-boyfriend to pieces from the back, then disappears*

17 2
OneNightStan 2

Yes, it is weird.

15 1
madgrinchhatter 12

Very weird. Or at least esoteric

2 2
WaSiSimiLang 8

Oh yeah since a certain someone is not on fml right now, I shall help him type in his usual line: "MAN CARD ******* REVOKED"

6 1
hawaiianfire 0

Yeah, I agree, unless she didn't deserve the time of day. (ex. op's ex didn't want to hear a dumb excuse as to why op cheated on him.)

6 0
22jrdn55 15

I think he wanted to avoid the whole crying part and just skip through to the "i hate you get away from me" part.

15 2
ArielTheMermaid 17

Wow what a jerk! Sorry OP

2 4
taty7659 4

OP should make a copy of the key and trash the boyz house :)

2 1
Infamous_Hawk 6

What a jerk. You deserve better...

44 3
TheDog6 24

Least he didn't finish with: "... And give me back the ruby ring with the big diamond"

1 5
hawaiianfire 0

Why shouldn't a girl give that back? Ive thought about it long and hard, does it really make sense for people to keep their wedding rings or engagement rings after their relationship falls apart?

4 5
lolmonster34 0

Who the **** is too pussy to break up face to face what a dick

1 2
Draugen 16

She deserves far worse. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she is so abrasive that he does not want to listen to her shrill voice as she falls apart from being dumped?

4 3
lolmonster34 0

#139 you should still man up and do it face to face not on Facebook that's just stupid

0 2
zaza_x_fml 5

What a douchebag. Tell him to man up for once and not be such a keyboard warrior. I'm sorry OP, you deserve better and will find someone better. Unless of course you did something extremely horrible to deserve what he did.

68 4
iArmy 6

Haha, keyboard warrior. Reminds me of when I played WoW.

10 1
Pentium_4 27

there is no excuse for that. what a pussy

46 5
thisisafunnyname 12

Unless OP is literally a murderous psychopath with extreme anger management problems who always carries a switchblade.

13 6
cradle6 13

Even then just make a phone call. Don't do it publicly.

6 0
SaMmIMonster96 6

I'm a crazy psychopath that carries s knife everywhere o.O u got something against me?? Haha I'm kidding about the question :)

1 4
downtime 12

87 Publicly is your best chance of surviving...If nobody else knows then she may try to keep it that way...

2 2
ramboman19 8

Does everyone resort to Facebook for everything now days? Damn!

71 2
Savra_fml 17

Chage your relationship to "Single" as well, and then as a status write "The key is on the counter, along with your penis enlargement pills. Going to feel what a real man is like. Your brother says "hi"." FYL though. Better off without a tosser like him.

243 3
WaSiSimiLang 8

Tossed? And yeah tell it like "no strings attached" is!

1 14
desireev 17

That just made my day!!! Hahaha

9 2
sparklecherry 4

Excellent comeback.

5 1
writergirl23 19

Lol that is if he's still friends on facebook with her.

0 1
narutoxhinata109 5

This is probably the greatest comment in response to and FML I've ever read! Lol

0 1