Love: Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed...

By firehurts - 08/06/2015 23:38 - United States - Wallkill

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 291

You deserved it 2 731

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 2 726

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 619

You deserved it 4 701

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 970

You deserved it 3 693

Great idea

By UnluckyLatina - 22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 671

You deserved it 12 281

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 546

You deserved it 14 910

Smash

By Unintended Victim - 08/12/2022 02:00

Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 105

By nickorion12 - 28/06/2016 14:21 - United States - Shawnee

Today, it's my birthday. My children decided to make me "breakfast in bed", only to end up setting the kitchen on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 619

You deserved it 1 300

By sadinmass - 13/11/2010 13:24 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 588

You deserved it 5 768

By Happy 20th! - 28/07/2010 05:48 - United States

Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 793

You deserved it 4 602

By Anonymous - 06/06/2013 16:32 - Senegal

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 697

You deserved it 11 759

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

Comments

timb1234 13

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:46

Are you Russian?

brownapple 22

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:01

What has that got to do with her leg being on fire?

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:52

#9 everything

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:47

This girl is on fire.

91hayek 31

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:48

Now that's what I call fire water!

keiNan_fml 35

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:50

Sorry to hear that. Happy birthday OP.

FunnnyGirrl 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:53

Your boyfriends not the sharpest tool in the shed...

leogachi 15

Tuesday 9 June 2015 14:13

It could be boyfriend's, for boyfriend is.

pauliegon 18

Wednesday 10 June 2015 0:15

You have large *******.

kingdutchhy 19

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:54

I guess you could say that your birthday celebrations went up in flames.

SubparAtBest 23

Tuesday 9 June 2015 10:57

maybe OP is a guy.. in which case he would be Flamin'! ....ill let myself out.

nickaa827 13

Wednesday 10 June 2015 4:56

not even remotely funny

cgm387 1

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:00

sorry to hear that.

_Peppermint_ 34

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:03

Ouch!!!!! I hope that fire was put out quickly.

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:04

Now all you gotta do is pee it out

ColonelCusswords 24

Tuesday 9 June 2015 11:55

I love taking life advice from you, diarrhea volcano

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Health Awkward Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Family Holidays Vacation AITA Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 619

You deserved it 15 052

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 73

The Top

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 335

You deserved it 29 391

Today, a new coworker asked me how to pronounce my name and made a dismissive remark that, "all Asian names are so hard to pronounce and they all sound the same." My name is Christopher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 859

You deserved it 263

Today, while I was skyping two of my guy friends, my mom barged into my room to show me a really nice new lipstick she bought and wanted me to try on. It was a beautiful red color and as I asked how I looked with it on, my mother laughed and responded with "hahaha you look like a hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 491

You deserved it 449

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 889

You deserved it 34 981

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 655

You deserved it 36 372

Today, I went to a strip club for the first time ever and was about to enjoy a private dance when the stripper stepped onto my chair, between my legs, to climb up onto platform. Sexy. Unfortunately, she missed the chair and stood on my balls, full weight, without noticing. I didn't 'enjoy' anything after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 356

Same thing different taste

Great idea

Smash

Top comments

Comments