Miscellaneous: Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to...

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 00:29 - United States - Wooster

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 868

You deserved it 1 943

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Same thing different taste

By scarlet - 09/05/2011 15:02 - Canada

Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 895

You deserved it 3 412

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 18:15

Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 139

You deserved it 2 643

Cleanliness is next to someone else

By Anonymous - 10/03/2020 15:00

Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 16/09/2018 13:00

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 779

You deserved it 278

By Justme - 30/06/2016 18:20 - United States - Missoula

Today, while I was riding the bus to work, I noticed the guy sitting across from me had shorts on. He also had no underwear on and I could fully see his "parts" just hanging there. I decided to switch seats but as I stood up to move, the bus jerked. I fell face forward right into his "parts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 124

You deserved it 1 482

By Anonymous - 20/03/2013 19:45 - United States - Piscataway

Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 872

You deserved it 3 448

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 278

You deserved it 2 528

By Anonymous - 26/08/2010 23:41 - United States

Today, I was riding the public bus and a really fat, smelly guy sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and asked me if I was single. My stop wasn't for three more miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 891

You deserved it 3 720

By poopboy - 16/01/2017 10:49

Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 363

You deserved it 859

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 109

You deserved it 2 562

Sneekert 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 8:53

Well... they are not. they are usually a couple of degrees colder to keep errors during sperm production down. Tell him he messes up his sperm by warming the balls with his hands.

Angel1000168 16

Wednesday 31 October 2012 8:52

Run. Now. Or ask to be moved. Practically beg. Your choice.

Comments

Angel1000168 16

Wednesday 31 October 2012 8:52

Run. Now. Or ask to be moved. Practically beg. Your choice.

alyspar2 5

Wednesday 31 October 2012 12:23

Today, we got new seats in class today. Huh?

danivolley64 10

Wednesday 31 October 2012 13:15

I do that a lot, easy mistake... Don't attack me!

oj101 33

Wednesday 31 October 2012 13:25

OP, remember to never lend him your pen, or borrow his!

SMD_emilyy 1

Wednesday 31 October 2012 14:00

At least you don't have to worry about falling asleep in that class..

chickenflem 8

Wednesday 31 October 2012 15:19

Tell him "not as hot as the pussy" maybe he will move. XD

iOceanus 18

Wednesday 31 October 2012 15:43

51 - Or think that's hot :P Seriously, no pun intended. Anyway, you never know with creeps!

license2chill 5

Wednesday 31 October 2012 18:19

51, what if the guy starts rubbing them, or worse, the shaft, just to get them warmer, because of what you have said, lol

Sneekert 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 8:53

Well... they are not. they are usually a couple of degrees colder to keep errors during sperm production down. Tell him he messes up his sperm by warming the balls with his hands.

Drigr 9

Wednesday 31 October 2012 9:16

Yep, thats why the scrotum can expand and contract. A guys balls work off their own thermometer. Too cold and they get closer to his body to try and warm up off of his core, too hot and they sag away to try and lower their temperature. I always thought the armpits were one of the "warmest" places in the body, since putting your hands there keeps them close to your core, as well as allowing you to surround them.

onlychildFTW 33

Wednesday 31 October 2012 9:23

The balls are the warmest place when in tighty whities. They can't lower to get away from the heat. And it will create a lower sperm count. But stop wearing tighty whities and sperm count goes back to normal in a few days. Or so I've heard.

Inheritance 10

Wednesday 31 October 2012 12:33

Or you can not tell him, then he can't reproduce any weirdos like him?

DarwinWillFixIt 11

Wednesday 31 October 2012 12:34

It's probably a good idea that he does raise his temperature and kills off his sperm. Should he really have an opportunity to reproduce?

cajekraze 7

Wednesday 31 October 2012 20:13

The guy is not a creep. He's just warming his hands and wanted to explain so you didn't think he was playing with himself. Many guys do this, but usually not so blatantly.