Miscellaneous: Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk...

By philip708 - 27/08/2015 06:46 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 720

You deserved it 1 824

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 6 052

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 492

You deserved it 6 180

By Erik Aleckson - 05/05/2019 02:00

Today, at my hotel job, I had to help a drunk naked guy back into his room. Earlier today, a fat old guy wearing only briefs came down to the lobby drunk as hell. I used to like my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 136

We could be heroes

By OhPleaseNo - 07/04/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 10/05/2014 13:00 - United States

Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 987

You deserved it 3 774

Great seeing you again

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom, where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 592

You deserved it 3 911

By blinkme - 28/08/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I was at a concert and the guy who was selling the drinks tripped and fell down the stairs, landing on the floor next to me and the drinks went all over. I went to make sure he was okay and helped pick up the drinks. After assuring me he was okay, he gave me a free soda. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 705

You deserved it 13 811

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 13/10/2022 12:00

Today, I watched an old man pee himself while he was talking to me at work. I didn't do anything or say something, solely because he didn't get any on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 128

Pish yerself

By breyn - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while working at my salon, I was cutting an older gentleman's hair. When he got up to leave, everyone noticed he had clearly pissed his pants. I felt bad for him until he laughed and said, "Here's your tip, have fun cleaning that up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 056

You deserved it 2 534

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 11:11 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 2 256

justanonymous123 13

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:08

No good deed goes unpunished.

stryder9090 28

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:10

A golden hug from a golden aged individual. Your day can't get any brighter!

Comments

justanonymous123 13

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:08

No good deed goes unpunished.

ohkitty 21

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:03

who else sang this in their heads to the tune of the Wicked song No Good Deed?

DamnBailie 23

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:09

At least your heart was in the right place. No everyone would have helped, and Im sure some good karma will come your way soon (:

stryder9090 28

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:10

A golden hug from a golden aged individual. Your day can't get any brighter!

FlyestBoy 11

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:26

Are you the hulk by any chance?

NotGabe 28

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:14

Oh that's nasty.

mds9986 24

Thursday 27 August 2015 18:14

Every time I read this sentence I read it in cleveland's voice without thinking about it.

fml510605 16

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:15

What a warm hug

StupidUsername89 23

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:16

At lest you helped him. Hope u got cleaned up

daddysgirl243 21

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:19

urine a gross situation there

StupidUsername89 23

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:20

That's a sticky situation. Hope you got some good karma for helping him.

sweetbliss3 37

Thursday 27 August 2015 20:05

what kind of pee do you have that's sticky? I don't condone it, but hell, even "a wet situation" would have made more sense.

Psycocharger 19

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:21

Well, at least you helped him, good job OP!

Swandive235 27

Thursday 27 August 2015 16:26

This is why I don't hug people, ever.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 434

You deserved it 46 509

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, I felt confident after a maths exam and thought I did rather well. When discussing the exam with my class mates afterwards, they kept talking about how difficult question 10 was. I only did 9 questions. Apparently the exam paper had a backside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 996

You deserved it 11 965

Today, I was watching a TV show with my 7-year-old niece. A scene came on where the main character was being tortured, and the one torturing him said, "I'm gonna make you scream." Without hesitating, I said, "Oh, kinky." My niece turned to me and asked, "What does kinky mean?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 5 079

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 108

You deserved it 33 478

Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 077

You deserved it 4 216

Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 2 448

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 772

You deserved it 7 814