Miscellaneous: Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth.... - FML

By oops - 27/09/2015 02:24 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 784

You deserved it 5 603

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 18:57 - Zimbabwe

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 850

You deserved it 13 884

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 689

You deserved it 13 854

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 311

You deserved it 27 715

Best teeth in the game

By jj. - 08/09/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 67

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 872

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 142

You deserved it 58 663

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 567

Eww! Cleanliness!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 472

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 201

You deserved it 28 374

Snap!

By fax4voice3 - 28/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 183

Next

Top comments

twitchywaffles 26

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:19

Jesus will make sure you never have a cavity again

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:20

Dear God, Accept this sacrifice of oral agony as I dedicate my teeth to Your great glory. Please keep my pearly whites safe so that I might one day see Heaven's Pearly Gates. Amen.

Comments

twitchywaffles 26

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:19

Jesus will make sure you never have a cavity again

corporatescoundr 25

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:29

Holiest mouth in existence✋?

HappyItalian 38

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:36

Only if he didn't forget to rinse with holy water after.

ForwardUn2Dawn 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 20:59

Plot twist: OP is the Pope on FML.

DoDaJulio 13

Monday 28 September 2015 23:23

300th like lol

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:20

Dear God, Accept this sacrifice of oral agony as I dedicate my teeth to Your great glory. Please keep my pearly whites safe so that I might one day see Heaven's Pearly Gates. Amen.

meliodafool_ 15

Sunday 27 September 2015 21:26

Thank you, Lord, for sending your son to die on the floss for our sins.

wondercat40 28

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:22

God bless

jjmack34 15

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:23

Never a bad thing to say a prayer, maybe he will make that 2 minutes go by faster?

Ahaddad123 27

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:25

Lol what?!?

whysobeachy 37

Sunday 27 September 2015 20:39

Thank you for your insightful comment, #6. It has contributed much to the hilarity of the comments section here. Please continue to bless forthcoming FMLs with your beautiful comments.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:26

Do you also swallow the toothpaste?

I_Like_Dogs 28

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:27

A prayer a day keeps a dentist away.

datkenna 20

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:31

Someone had a fun night last night

HappyItalian 38

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:33

Don't worry, God will protect those pearly whites from the sinful yellow.

Venister 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:35

Ydi

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The Top

Today, my laptop was slow so I used my husband’s laptop. I went to the bedroom and found it opened, so I moved the trackpad and it powered on. The first thing I see is a page with redhead porn, and another tab with nude redheads. You know who else is a redhead? The new girl at his job he tells me not to worry about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 132

You’re probably wondering what this website is all about. Well, it’s basically a bunch of people who had enough humor to tell you all about their shitty lives, and what it was that made their day suck a big fat one. Some are sad in funny way, som...

I agree, your life sucks 14

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The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my "best friend" while I was away on vacation. She is now writing on her blog about how heartbreaking the whole situation is for her, and how she's "stuck in the middle of all this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 828

You deserved it 3 842

Today, it’s my birthday. Not only did my boyfriend of 5 years forget, when I reminded him, he said very unenthusiastically, “Oh, Happy Birthday.” When I said, “That’s it?” he got annoyed and said,“Well, what else do you want me to tell you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 1 255

Today, I got a lot of tips at work, but little did I know our boss takes it out of our paychecks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 131

Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 974

You deserved it 6 691

Today, I was going to ask this girl I love to homecoming. I set up a scavenger hunt, and my friend led her through it. At the end of the scavenger hunt I had a note that said, "Homecoming?" She said yes and hugged my friend. When I told her it was me who was asking, she laughed and said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 705

You deserved it 10 658

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 583

You deserved it 6 782