Miscellaneous: Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth.... - FML

By oops - 27/09/2015 02:24 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, I got confused and said grace before brushing my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 784

You deserved it 5 603

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 29/10/2013 18:57 - Zimbabwe

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 849

You deserved it 13 883

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 688

You deserved it 13 854

By captfml - 15/12/2010 22:32 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 311

You deserved it 27 715

Best teeth in the game

By jj. - 08/09/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, my mom loudly asked me if I'd brushed my teeth, then replied to my yes with, “I don’t believe you.” All because I forgot to brush my teeth once when I was 5. I’m 17 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 67

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 872

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 142

You deserved it 58 662

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 565

Eww! Cleanliness!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 472

Minty freshness

By Sergie - 04/06/2010 09:28 - Ireland

Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 201

You deserved it 28 374

Snap!

By fax4voice3 - 28/08/2023 18:02 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was flossing my teeth, which I do only to not get yelled at (chewed out?) by my dentist. Dentist I’ll now be seeing later today because the floss broke off a corner of one of my molars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 182

Next

Top comments

twitchywaffles 26

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:19

Jesus will make sure you never have a cavity again

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:20

Dear God, Accept this sacrifice of oral agony as I dedicate my teeth to Your great glory. Please keep my pearly whites safe so that I might one day see Heaven's Pearly Gates. Amen.

Comments

twitchywaffles 26

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:19

Jesus will make sure you never have a cavity again

corporatescoundr 25

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:29

Holiest mouth in existence✋?

HappyItalian 38

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:36

Only if he didn't forget to rinse with holy water after.

ForwardUn2Dawn 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 20:59

Plot twist: OP is the Pope on FML.

DoDaJulio 13

Monday 28 September 2015 23:23

300th like lol

Welshite 39

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:20

Dear God, Accept this sacrifice of oral agony as I dedicate my teeth to Your great glory. Please keep my pearly whites safe so that I might one day see Heaven's Pearly Gates. Amen.

meliodafool_ 15

Sunday 27 September 2015 21:26

Thank you, Lord, for sending your son to die on the floss for our sins.

wondercat40 28

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:22

God bless

jjmack34 15

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:23

Never a bad thing to say a prayer, maybe he will make that 2 minutes go by faster?

Ahaddad123 27

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:25

Lol what?!?

whysobeachy 37

Sunday 27 September 2015 20:39

Thank you for your insightful comment, #6. It has contributed much to the hilarity of the comments section here. Please continue to bless forthcoming FMLs with your beautiful comments.

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:26

Do you also swallow the toothpaste?

I_Like_Dogs 28

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:27

A prayer a day keeps a dentist away.

datkenna 20

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:31

Someone had a fun night last night

HappyItalian 38

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:33

Don't worry, God will protect those pearly whites from the sinful yellow.

Venister 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 19:35

Ydi

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Awkward Dentist Health Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Work Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Family Holidays Vacation AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Money

The Top

Today, as we packed for a vacation, I saw my boyfriend pack several pairs of the ugly gray socks he knows I hate. I took and threw them away before we left. One flight, cab ride, and furious argument later, I learned that one pair had an engagement ring wrapped up inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 1 554

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

The Top

Today, I finally met a guy I was interested in, after being a single 21 year-old virgin, but my brother decided to be overprotective and drag me away. Like, literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 138

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 468

You deserved it 3 192

Today, I learned that my friend really can't be trusted to set up a party by herself. The only food she provided was tap water, a single sleeve of saltines, and Kraft singles. The only entertainment was Checkers and the first season of Frasier on DVD. We all pooled $250 for her to do this! What the hell happened!? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 187

Today, my boyfriend apparently lied to me when he'd said we could get a dog one day. I bought a puppy for him in secret but as soon as he saw it he was all, "What the hell is that? We’re not keeping it." It’s now with his parents, as he didn’t want it overnight or even in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 776

Today, I’m almost six weeks pregnant. From exactly ten seconds of penetration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 399

You deserved it 1 393

Today, I realized how emotional I get around my time of month when I cried because a cheese commercial was so "touching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 178