Miscellaneous: Today, I complimented a guy on his Van Gogh costume. As it turns... - FML

By I'm an asshole - 03/11/2016 21:46 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I complimented a guy on his Van Gogh costume. As it turns out, he had an infection in his ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 259

You deserved it 1 612

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Same thing different taste

Waxing and waning

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 07:15 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 5 351

By inked - 05/02/2012 05:54 - United States

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 387

You deserved it 31 237

Halloween is cancelled

By iliveformystery - 31/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 6 568

By loverofstrife - 07/10/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 108

You deserved it 5 619

By story of my life. - 21/02/2009 14:33 - Switzerland

Today, at a party I told this guy that I really liked his pirate costume. Turns out he wasn't wearing a costume, his eye was shot out with a BB gun. This explains the eye patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 173

You deserved it 34 417

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 15:28 - Canada - Sooke

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 529

You deserved it 3 022

By That Guy - 01/11/2014 12:58 - United States - Tampa

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 616

You deserved it 14 241

By AndieApocalypse - 03/06/2011 04:21 - United States

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 000

You deserved it 6 374

Thick ear

By why - 23/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 1 179

Looking good

By Kbizz - 03/06/2010 02:12 - Canada

Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and it's not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked, "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 574

You deserved it 32 401

Next

Top comments

lexiieeex3 32

Friday 4 November 2016 8:41

Was this on Halloween or on November 3rd? Makes the world of difference here.

kelciimackk 24

Friday 4 November 2016 8:46

Don't worry, OP; he'll let it Gogh.

Comments

lexiieeex3 32

Friday 4 November 2016 8:41

Was this on Halloween or on November 3rd? Makes the world of difference here.

espark 3

Tuesday 8 November 2016 22:16

Hey, I'm the op. :) It was actually a few days before Halloween, but where I was, a TON of people were dressed up, so I figured he was just one of the many.

kelciimackk 24

Friday 4 November 2016 8:46

Don't worry, OP; he'll let it Gogh.

mariri9206 32

Friday 4 November 2016 20:52

It's pronounced "goff." (It is but I'm kidding, btw. I don't really care how you pronounce it. lol)

Mike3258 18

Sunday 6 November 2016 3:48

it is for Dutch. but this is AMERICA. GAWSH

cootiequeen4444 11

Sunday 6 November 2016 4:14

it's not van Goff either, man. it's like vincent van * some hacking noise*.. just Google how to pronounce vincent van gogh audio or something like that to find the real Dutch pronounciation.

Bearsmomma 30

Sunday 6 November 2016 8:17

Lmao #10. Loved your comment

xxDeeStar 27

Friday 4 November 2016 18:14

Saw the title and I had to say that you're not an asshole! There is no way you'd know. Things happen sometimes. As long as you apologized, you did your part.

montsecc 8

Friday 4 November 2016 19:33

Bad timing lol

claudiajean 24

Saturday 5 November 2016 3:14

Don't worry I once got told I was brave going back to work so soon after a massive surgery on my brain. I'd actually jut had too much to drink and let someone shave my undercut without a guard on it. He'll get over it :) you didn't know!

Saraishi 24

Saturday 5 November 2016 20:29

It's November, OP....

mariri9206 32

Saturday 5 November 2016 21:35

This could have been on Halloween. Just because the post date is in November doesn't mean it actually occurred in November. It's really likely that it happened in October - on Halloween, actually - and OP just posted/submitted it a few days later.

tmatherne 8

Sunday 6 November 2016 7:32

In all fairness, that WOULD have been a bitching costume.

ohSNAPyall 26

Monday 7 November 2016 3:22

He should have rocked it!

jvanevery 19

Sunday 13 November 2016 10:19

that's actually very funny but it would have been more appropriate on Halloween

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The Top

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 9 289

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 803

The Top

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 034

You deserved it 4 237

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for a year finally said she'd go out with me. On the way over to pick her up, she called me and said she couldn't go because she was going out to dinner with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. She asked if she could use the reservations I had made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 556

You deserved it 2 643

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 806

You deserved it 5 256

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 424

You deserved it 5 579

Today, I found the phone number of my biological mother after years of searching for her, and gave her a call. I introduced myself by name and said, "I'm your daughter." There was a pause at the other end, followed by, "The one I aborted or the one I gave away?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 213

Today, I got home from college. Since I haven't seen my parents in almost a year I sorta expected them to come meet me/pick me up at the airport. Nope. What did I get instead? A text from my dad saying, "I hope you have a key." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 321

You deserved it 3 462