The Top

I'm a girl and yes my name is Allie. I tried to push him off of me but army dudes are tough. He was trained to fight and he still got his sister beat up. Haha. It's ok, I'll get even.

By Anonymous - 21/08/2012 17:39 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I walked into the restroom at work, only to find my boss stroking and playing with himself. I have my annual performance assessment with him in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 633

You deserved it 2 338

Tough guy

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 04:26 - United States - Austin

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 001

You deserved it 6 750

By nothing - 08/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 885

You deserved it 63 747

By notsofriendly - 06/11/2014 20:15 - United States - Austin

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 801

You deserved it 7 829

By Joe - 08/07/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 719

You deserved it 22 421

Furries unite!

By aeghw1s - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant. I'm going to be the mascot that stands by the road to wave down customers in a heavy polyester animal suit. The high today is 102. I work 12-4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 618

You deserved it 6 417

By music man - 25/02/2012 00:50 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 130

You deserved it 3 856

Charming

By jay ze punk - 29/01/2013 19:56 - France - Metz-tessy

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 825

You deserved it 5 239

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 22:40 - United States

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 483

You deserved it 104 704

By anonymous - 14/02/2011 13:45 - United States

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 265

You deserved it 17 021

By Stuck - 15/07/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 832

You deserved it 14 385

By Anonymous - 16/11/2014 00:04 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 770

You deserved it 34 440

By ktin - 19/08/2010 12:02 - Australia

Today, I got wii fit, wii Mario kart and wii Mario galaxy for my birthday, I don't have a wii. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 4 880

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weddings Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, I found out my fiancé has been sleeping with his therapist behind my back. If that wasn't bad enough on its own, I'd talked him into starting therapy six months ago to help with his mental health troubles, and have been mostly paying for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 372

You deserved it 229

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 494

You deserved it 54 242

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 471

You deserved it 4 222

Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 877

You deserved it 22 545

Today, I realized how bored I am with life in general, as well as how bad my ADHD has gotten, when I saw a fly eating a crumb I dropped on the floor and watched it for two minutes straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 255

Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 10 039

Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 255

You deserved it 20 795