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By spekledworf - 28/08/2012 02:57 - United States - Wrentham

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 461

You deserved it 2 005

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 17:44 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I realized that it's become a regular occurrence for my mother and me to talk about our pubic hair. I don't know which is worse, the fact that I now know that she shaves it, or the fact that we even talk about this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 162

You deserved it 13 914

**** off!

By my back hurts - 04/09/2013 05:25 - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 629

You deserved it 7 436

Great tip, thanks

By Anonymous - 11/07/2013 07:10 - United States - Cedar Crest

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 409

You deserved it 40 990

By flyakite - 22/08/2014 03:53 - United States

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 149

You deserved it 6 612

By Lizofsmeg - 11/05/2012 05:03 - United States

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 221

You deserved it 3 226

By Kilimanjaro - 03/04/2012 04:41 - France

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 114

By Anonymous - 22/07/2015 11:52 - United States - Garland

Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 993

You deserved it 3 625

By thelunarwolf - 02/03/2011 03:41

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 866

You deserved it 8 879

By Winchesterlover - 05/02/2011 18:41 - United States

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 818

You deserved it 8 856

By mademoiselleaus - 06/12/2011 12:26 - Australia

Today, I started at my new waitressing job. Our uniforms have the name of the restaurant on the left chest pocket. My first customer asked me what the other boob was called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 918

You deserved it 3 323

mademoiselleaus tells us more.

mademoiselleaus 2

Friday 9 December 2011 17:20

Ella and Fitzgerald? Maria and Sharapova? Harry and Potter? Oh, the endless possibilities!

Mixing it up

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:20 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 844

You deserved it 48 885

By TheRawrza - 26/04/2009 09:47 - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. Standing outside of the pool, I was hesitant about taking my shirt off. A girl in the pool shouted, "Hey, you're not the only fat one here, don't feel bad!" I was worried about what my friends would think of my new bellybutton ring, I didn't think I'm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 248

You deserved it 8 275

By Anonymous - 22/07/2013 19:08 - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 139

You deserved it 4 524

By Mark - 06/06/2012 02:21 - United States

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 863

You deserved it 12 621

By Anonymous - 09/11/2015 14:58 - United States - Redlands

Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 790

You deserved it 1 838

By moneycatious - 19/03/2012 23:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 360

You deserved it 5 540

By the other guy? - 29/03/2014 21:57 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 604

You deserved it 19 759

By overflowing - 16/04/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 195

You deserved it 8 672

By kneesarethenewdesk - 19/08/2009 22:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 331

You deserved it 7 692

By Anonymous - 07/11/2011 20:48 - United States

Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 299

You deserved it 3 245

By astraboy - 21/05/2009 09:11 - Australia

Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 190

You deserved it 8 532

By chestycough - 16/09/2013 04:35 - Australia - Belrose

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 950

You deserved it 5 449

By The fuck, junior? - 05/07/2013 22:45 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 095

You deserved it 5 401

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 868

You deserved it 4 387

By Owned - 25/03/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 57

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 727

You deserved it 4 835

By really mom - 15/04/2012 17:38 - United States - Montgomery

Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 2 124

By carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 033

You deserved it 4 783

By Annieisnotokay - 17/04/2013 10:20 - United Kingdom

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 218

You deserved it 6 879

Annieisnotokay tells us more.

Annieisnotokay 7

Wednesday 17 April 2013 21:16

Just want to point out that I was pretty sure I had a last sentence that said 'turns out I lasted 5 minutes before fainting'. I am not claiming that I was in full blown panic mode for a full hour. I have a diagnosed OCD which does effect quite a large part of my life, I can't even use paper in class. The majority of my friends know I have this OCD and my best friend only brought it up as an example because she knows I don't really mind people knowing because for me as embarrassing as it is, I feel that if people know they won't make a big deal out of it and since I'm in year 12 I wasn't expecting people to over react as they did. The people who were doing it were the boys in my class who are really only in the class because they needed an extra subject to be allowed to attend the college I'm at. The teacher was trying to stop them but she was a substitute so naturally the already rowdy boys were not going to be told to stop.