All the FMLs

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 18:00

Today, I ran a marathon and despite the numerous arrows and indications along the way, I ended up getting lost on the way to the finish line. I'm still not sure how I managed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 344

********

By Frank - 18/02/2023 16:00

Today, my brother put feces on my windshield and released a hoard of crickets, usually used to feed his bearded dragon, inside my car seats, all because I didn’t give him some money from my deceased daughter’s life insurance payout to spend on a new car and a PS5. The kicker? He claims I’M the selfish one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 98

Misery loves Caturday

By Sara - 18/02/2023 14:00

Today, after I got a cat to help with my anxiety, it turns out he also has anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 172

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 634

No introductions needed

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom - Bangor

Today, my younger half-sister discovered my existence. She then went to our grandparents' house, smashed my picture off their wall, and ransacked their house looking for other pictures of me to destroy. She's in her mid-twenties, behaving like a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 106

Do you remember the first time?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he used to make fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 367

You deserved it 4 144

Give me a break

By anon - 18/02/2023 06:00

Today, I burned dinner because my girlfriend was yelling for me to help with a trivial problem. To salvage things, I ordered pizza. She spent the rest of the evening moaning that I ruined dinner, that we don't eat healthy, and that I "make us" waste money on food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 195

Go home mom, you're drunk

By Single and pissed - 18/02/2023 04:00

Today, my Syrian-American fiancée is reconsidering the engagement and returned the ring, all because my mother decided last night was the perfect night to get drunk during dinner, and blurt out racist Muslim jokes and phrases. She refuses to apologize or acknowledge that she did anything wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 136

You deserved it 247

In New York, concrete jungle wet dream tomato

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 02:00

Today, my brain seemingly went on vacation and I forgot the lyrics to a song I was performing in front of a live audience, so I ended up ad-libbing a bunch of garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 292

Repressed memories

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about my uncle who committed suicide when I was younger. When I tried to remember his name, my mind went completely blank. It was bugging me all day, until I remembered halfway through the movie we were watching. It took me a whole day to remember my deceased uncle's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 173

Method acting

By over_due - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was giving a competitive dramatic speech. I got a little too into it and punched the ground to portray my character's anger. I must be one dedicated thespian because I was angry enough to break my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 048

You deserved it 3 626

Surprise surprise

By Niva - 17/02/2023 09:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because his wife found out about me. And by extension, I found out about his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 190

Classic lineup

By LonelyInLove - 17/02/2023 08:00 - United States - Methuen

Today, a guy I had developed feelings for broke things off with me, giving me a version of the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. This was the first person I had liked/wanted to date in almost 8 years. I think I’m destined to be alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 153

Always check!

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 06:00 - United States - Bayonne

Today, after eating some fire noodles the day before, I took a nice long poop in my school's bathroom, only to find out there was no toilet paper left in any of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 229

So lonely

By majestic09 - 17/02/2023 10:00

Today, I’m mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, and I feel like the only person I can talk to who actually listens is my therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 161

Existential crisis

By ceedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it… Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 617

You deserved it 25 804

Own it

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 06:00

Today, I was entertaining my niece at the family lunch by painting my lip with calamari ink. My father told me I looked like Ursula, from The Little Mermaid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 365

Mystery

By earth to lissa - 17/02/2023 04:00

Today, I had an endoscopy and nothing wrong was found. So why have I been vomiting up everything, including water, for the past 10 days? FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 79

My feefees

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 00:00

Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 130

Brain freeze

By what - 16/02/2023 22:00

Today, at the ripe old age of 24, I briefly forgot my own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 657

You deserved it 164

That's enough of that

By really?!? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Wendell

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart when it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 367

You deserved it 4 546

Kinda sus

By Forgotten fiancee - 16/02/2023 12:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my fiancé is more invested in getting his lingerie and tattoo-clad friend on the cover of Inked Magazine than help plan our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 199

Pleased to meet you

By Homeless without superbowl - 16/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 4 803

I'm tellin' y'all, it's a sabotage

By Anonymous - 16/02/2023 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I found out that my best friend of 10 years has been sabotaging every relationship or situationship that I’ve had for these past 10 years. No wonder I’ve been single for the majority of that time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146

You deserved it 128

Badum tish

By Too Bad So Sad - 16/02/2023 06:00 - Canada - London

Today, I was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder (S.A.D.). I already have seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.) and depression. That’s a lot of SADness for one person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 158

Oh what a night…

By Charlotte - 16/02/2023 10:00

Today, I went to a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert with my best friend. We've been looking forward to this for over six months. She spent the entire pre-drinks, pre-party, and concert glued to her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 119

Back to training

By why me - 16/02/2023 06:00

Today, I started my job at a warehouse. I was the only person in my training group who needed help wrapping a pallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 209

It's a gas gas gas

By annie - 16/02/2023 04:00

Today, I trusted a fart at work and, for the first time in my life, it did not come out silent. I have had a hell of a time explaining to people that I don’t fart loudly all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 765

Every little helps

By Andreas - 16/02/2023 00:00 - Norway - Bergen

Today, I discovered that I could have gotten 2,3% off on the vacuum cleaner bags I bought online two weeks ago. At the time I didn't know about the discount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 672

A heartwarming family story

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 22:00

Today, I realized that over 20 years ago I married a man who could never mature, after we had a marital argument and he couldn't just have an one side, but rather decided to involve our 11 year-old old son, allowing him to repeat his words toward me, like "bitch", "whore", and "cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 188

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weddings Awkward Love My ex Friends AITA Jealousy Embarrassing Health Poopoo peepee Relatable Mental health Therapy Covid Argument Parenting Kids Thanksgiving Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

Today, I’ve been getting a lot of strange messages from guys on the dating site I use, then I realised why: on my profile pic I'm sat down and you can see my nice underwear up my skirt. That explains the messages, they thought I was trolling for men to hump and dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 980

The Top

Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 107

Today, like every day, my coworker showed up thirty minutes late, sat down for thirty more checking email while I got the morning work done alone, listening to her bitch about how much she hates her job and wants to go home. My coworkers criticized me for being moody, and praised her for being the best. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 110

Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 021

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 323

You deserved it 3 663

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using Lady GaGa lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 351

You deserved it 8 928

Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 781

You deserved it 2 420