Cars

Hassle free

By Lana - 26/04/2022 22:00

Today, every time I think of having any children, I remember that an idiotic neighbor let her kids paint all over my car with permanent marker, so I eventually forget about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 130

Rejection hotline

By Anonymous - 24/04/2022 12:00

Today, after having my car's oil changed, I asked the girl at the front desk for her number and she gave it to me, so I was excited all day. That night I texted her and she asked who it was and I told her my name, then she told me she gave her number out to a lot of customers, so she didn’t remember me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 909

No way

By Adam curran - 24/04/2022 06:00

Today, my roommate expected me to help them buy them car, or loan them some money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 111

Fighting talk

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 18:00

Today, I went out with my girlfriend to a restaurant. After parking up next to a badly parked Audi, I commented, “Typical shit parking by an Audi driver.” Unbeknownst to me, the owner was walking to his car at the exact same moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 882

Hairy situation

By hair today gone tomorrow - 22/04/2022 19:00 - United States

Today, a guy I liked came to pick me up for our first date. As he opened the car door, I noticed nearly an inch of dog hair on every surface of the interior. Not wanting to get it all over me, I asked if we could take my car instead. He was so “insulted” he drove off and left me standing there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 427

Doss house

By Dane - 16/04/2022 04:00

Today, I was demoted at my job for sleeping in the store when I'd have a few after closing. Apparently, they would rather have me drive drunk than do the responsible thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 1 707

Lies and love don't mix

By Gregoree - 16/04/2022 00:01

Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 3 011

Bumpy ride

By jojolee68 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 446

You deserved it 2 873

Honest parenting

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 16:00

Today, I hit a parked car and did some damage, so I left a note. My dad called me a moron and, to teach me a life lesson, made me drive back to the car in case the owner hadn’t seen it yet, and remove the note. He actually threatened to smash my PlayStation if I came back without the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 150

You deserved it 177

Public freakouts

By BrakesNotBumpers - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Reading

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F...?" the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 756

You deserved it 2 502

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 31/03/2022 12:00

Today, according to a wild Karen, I shouldn’t be allowed to use a disabled bay because I don’t look disabled. I mean sure, I have a prosthetic leg, but I look "normal" so I’m not allowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 325

You deserved it 105

The usual suspects

By Anonymous - 30/03/2022 11:00 - United States - Bassett

Today, I woke up to my mom calling me. I'm 90 miles away, staying at my cousin's. Someone shit on the windshield of her car, and she is blaming my friends, and is pissed at me who is out of town, and my friends who I believe were driving to a out of state concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 116

It sure does

By dreams2383 - 29/03/2022 23:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after I fell on ice twice hitting my tailbone last week. I'm in excruciating pain but can't get out of work, no internet for over a week so I can't do college work, a guy ran into my car, totaling it. it's 20 years-old so insurance probably won't give me enough to replace. Bad luck comes in threes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 104

Not going well, is it?

By tedfragle - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I realised that as I get closer to home, I drive slower and slower so I'm away from my husband for longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 305

You deserved it 2 748

Look out!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, on my way to work, I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 549

You deserved it 9 173

You bastard

By ccgundum - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Vancouver

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 043

You deserved it 4 052

Better safe than doggy

By poongoon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while at the supermarket, I came back to one of my car windows smashed in. Apparently, the stuffed animal my son left in the back seat looks like a dehydrated dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 776

You deserved it 920

Road rage

By Anonymous - 18/03/2022 06:00

Today, a guy hit my car, and I threatened to sue him after he started the conversation rudely. He told me to go ahead, because he doesn’t have any money or a job anyway, then because from his perspective he had nothing else really to lose, he kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 388

Doofus move

By Stickerman - 17/03/2022 14:00

Today, outraged about the high gas prices, I thought it would be funny to buy some stickers of Joe Biden saying, “I did that” to put them on the gas pumps next to the prices. I was caught by the owner, and am no longer welcome in that gas station for “vandalism.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 2 989

Bad omen

By KaRaBeAr24 - 16/03/2022 23:00 - United States

Today, I got hit and totaled my new car, on my way to get married, with my fiancé and kids in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 115

Then it hit me

By clu - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while eating dinner, a car alarm went off outside for 15 minutes and was driving me crazy, until I realized it was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 012

You deserved it 37 789

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 02:00

Today, while skating to school, I got hit by a car, In front of the school. I went flying and everyone saw. The girl who hit me only said, "Oops, didn't see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 119

OPEN UP!

By forgetful - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Angeles

Today, our family bought a new car. When we got home, I opened the trunk to get my backpack. It turns out I left it in the trunk of our trade-in. The dealership is closed now and I have a presentation due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 654

You deserved it 6 947

More haste, less speed

By Mom. - 07/03/2022 22:00

Today, I was rushing to get my 4 month-old daughter out of the car because I had diarrhea and need to get to a toilet ASAP. In the process of leaning in the backseat to grab her car seat, I smacked my head on the door hard and almost knocked myself out. Now I have a giant knot on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 112

Lazy

By father of an idiot - 06/03/2022 22:00

Today, my daughter had a flat tire. When she told me about it, I said, “Well, it’s a good thing you know how to change a tire!” She then replied that she has actually forgotten how to change a tire, because it’s “been too long.” It’s only been a couple months since I showed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 295

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 06/03/2022 04:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I’m proud and happy for having used my bike instead of my car for almost two months. Well, I was. Until I discovered that my car, though clean, dry and with a moisture absorber inside, has started to grow mold. Everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 157

Bad day

By Anonymous - 04/03/2022 06:00

Today, I drove to my job and got a parking ticket for parking in my assigned parking spot. On top of that, my mom's dog gave birth to her puppies in my bathroom. I currently have a parking ticket and ten dogs in my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 108

Who's fault is that?

By junie b - 03/03/2022 22:00

Today, I failed my driving test. Why? Before I even began driving, someone hit my car while it was still parked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 78

Road safety

By Anonymous - 03/03/2022 08:00 - United States - Nashville

Today, while driving to work, some asshole stopped sharply on the 60 mph highway because he almost hit the car in front of him. Even with maintaining my distance, and slamming on the brakes, I still ruined the front end of my car on his dented bumper. I haven't even had the car for a year, and I'm still the one at fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 1 020

Gas shortages

By Jay - 03/03/2022 06:00

Today, while leaving a job interview, I ran out of gas on the highway and had to literally shake my vehicle to get off to the side of the road. My car is still sitting in that same spot. I had to walk two hours home and I now have chafing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 371

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, I really wanted to spend a night of passion with my lover, so I'd arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number, and waited for him in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it slowly and enticingly, assuming it was him. It was room service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 11 953

It's great to see you ! How was july ? Hot, sweaty, flirty ? How I miseed talking to you (and getting one or two comments if we're lucky enough). But let's not complain, a whole month welcoming artists for their second rounds who gave us brand new il...

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 18

The Top

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 588

You deserved it 62 834

Today, I was nearly T-Boned at a stop sign by my ex-roommate. I moved 10 miles away to get away from her after her midlife crisis, and her losing the house, and now avoid her end of town. She now works outside my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 758

You deserved it 137

Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 341

You deserved it 11 875

Today, I started antibiotics for a UTI. Now, along with a burning sensation whenever I pee, I also need to try not to fall asleep, put up with the headaches, nausea, and lightheadedness from the tablets, all while working two jobs and being a parent. Six days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 113

Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age, nor birthday. They are twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 1 639

Today, I received yet another letter from a relative bitching me out for not involving my parents in my wedding. The parents who showed no interest in our relationship and then yelled at my fiancé and me when we announced it to them, calling us stupid, naive, heathens, and mentally ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 063

You deserved it 1 739