Cars

Surveillance

By Anonymous - 29/06/2023 09:00

Today, my mechanic asked me if I wanted to keep my car's aftermarket tracking system, which he found had died. That’s when I realised that my ex-husband must have installed that after our divorce, and it’s been in there for over 6 years. God only knows how long it tracked me before dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 102

Why dude?

By yessir - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 613

You deserved it 28 634

Oh the humanity

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while driving home with my boyfriend, we started discussing how clean our driving records were. I was boasting about how I'd never been in an accident when I hit a moose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 098

You deserved it 34 791

Mean streets

By tiptoppc - 19/06/2023 07:00 - United States - Grand Island

Today, my car was totaled when a semi passed me and blew his transaxle out of his truck into my car. I travel for work and just got my job. I also just put plates on my car. It’s now triggered my PTSD from another car accident I was injured in. I keep crying from flashbacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 128

I'm innocent!

By DavidJ - 16/06/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 175

Stalker much?

By NotEnuff - 13/06/2023 00:02

Today, I found out the guy who rejected me just two days ago, and who told me he was “asexual” and “incapable of feeling romantic love” is in fact very sexual, and very much in love, in the backseat of his SUV with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 265

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 09/06/2023 15:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, after dating someone for a year and a half, upon meeting his mother for the first time he'd told me she has bad anxiety and that he’s going to introduce me as his friend, and the only reason I was meeting her was because she was selling her deceased husband's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 697

You deserved it 110

Get outta my way

By Anonymous - 05/06/2023 18:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I had a DMV appointment I couldn’t miss. With my one year-old in the car, the anti theft system started going off and I couldn't get it to stop, so we just drove to the DMV with the car alarm going off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 163

Smooth sailing

By Anonymous - 05/06/2023 15:00

Today, everything in life was going smoothly. Including the rock someone slingshot through my passenger window while I was driving. Thank you, random citizen! FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 111

Policy of truth

By WalkofShame101 - 04/06/2023 22:00

Today, my parents took the car I was supposed to get for my graduation back. Note to self: Don’t fall asleep at your friend Diane’s house past curfew. PS: Don’t lie about being at Diane’s, because they called her mom, who said I wasn’t there. I was actually at my boyfriend’s apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 867

Timing is everything

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Metamora

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 212

You deserved it 5 362

Spy vs Spy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 363

You deserved it 2 187

Karma

By LOLOLOLOL - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Greensboro

Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 506

You deserved it 38 476

Road rage

By Anonymous - 15/05/2023 22:00

Today, my dad is such an asshole, he pulled out into traffic because he was too impatient to wait, which is how we ended up in the middle of a funeral for 5 miles, right behind the hearse. It was the funeral of a friend's dad and now I have 87 missed calls from her, and I’m too scared to answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 136

Culture war bullshit

By Anonymous - 14/05/2023 06:00 - Australia - Taren Point

Today, I realised that American political BS is even in countries as far away as my own when I drove past a "Trump won" sign on my way home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 210

The Soprano

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 780

You deserved it 12 236

It's not like riding a bike

By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 03:00

Today, I bought my very first car. My dad insisted on driving it, just to see how it handles, and drove it right off the bridge near our house into our river because he hasn’t driven anything in 15 years, which also means he has no insurance, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 445

Hey there!

By Chanby - 04/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a friend I hadn't seen in years. I was so excited to catch up with her that I ran across the street without looking and almost got hit by a car. I ended up stumbling out of panic and landed on a pile of trash on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 035

Dangerous drive

By WAKE UP - 02/05/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, my uncle was driving my mom and me to his house. We caught him nodding off numerous times, and I'm pretty sure he actually fell asleep at least once. We were on the highway. The car suddenly started swerving several times whenever he was getting sleepy. I think I have some grey hairs now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 128

Our house, in the middle of our street

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 02:00 - Australia

Today, I was late for work again because of road workers in front of my house parking me in. This has been going on since February, and will be until August, "Weather permitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 124

My body hates me

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 12:00 - United States - Elizabeth City

Today, like many other days before, my allergies decided, "screw you, you're dealing with me year round, no allergy medicine will keep me away, and you're going to break out in sneezing fits at the worst possible moments, which includes while you're driving on the highway." Shocking that I haven't been in a wreck yet, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 113

The hero we deserved

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 15:00

Today, I helped save three people, including a newborn, when I was sole witness to a bad car crash. My boss said that wasn’t a valid reason to be 4 hours late for work and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 206

You deserved it 92

Chill out, dude!

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was running late for a meeting and wound up getting stuck in traffic, which started to stress me out to the point of road rage at no one in particular. When I finally arrived, the meeting had been cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 249

Where's Jackson Galaxy when you need him?

By Catscratchfever - 24/04/2023 22:00

Today, I took my cat for a very short car ride in her new carrier. I’ve left it out for weeks to let her get used to it, and before this she was relaxed enough to nap in it. Now, she won’t go near it no matter how many treats I use. I move cross country in June. Back to the drawing board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644

You deserved it 188

Wrecked

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 22:00 - Albania

Today, I crashed my brother's car. All my friends know about this and not a single person has ask if I'm OK, even my dad and brother don't seem to be worried about me. Only my mother and I are sad because I don't know how to pay for a new car, the old one is in pieces. Thank god I'm alive but maybe dead would've been better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 382

My pleasure, mom!

By FortuneFaded - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, it's my mother's birthday so I took her out to lunch. On the way there, we had a car accident. It was my fault. For my mother's birthday I gave her 3 broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 978

You deserved it 19 258

Best of three

By Anonymous - 12/04/2023 06:00

Today, I chipped my front tooth on a hazelnut. Yesterday, my car broke down because the mechanic did a shit job, and oil leaked all through the engine. I'm waiting in fear of whatever expensive thing is going to happen tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 100

Walk it off

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 12:00 - Ireland

Today, after running a marathon, I was knackered but feeling great. I was walking to my car when I stepped on a shard of glass and had to go to the emergency room to get it removed. I ended up missing the marathon after-party and had to spend the rest of the day in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 136

Petrol head

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, while on a road trip with my friends, we stopped at a gas station to fill up. While I was pumping gas, a gust of wind blew my hat off and it landed in a puddle of gasoline. When I picked it up, my hands were covered in gasoline, so I smelled like a gas station for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 222

Act of god

By Anonymous - 05/04/2023 00:00

Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 93

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Teenagers Animals Dogs Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 651

Today, my husband decided to flash me while I was on a video call, so my clients announced they would only work with professionals, and ended the call. I was giving a virtual showing of a £1.2 million house they were thinking of buying. At 6% commission, my husband's junk just cost us £72,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 276

The Top

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 978

You deserved it 7 453

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 313

You deserved it 6 398

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 284

You deserved it 19 003

Today, my boss told me I can't use the computer for entertainment. This coming from the same person who spends hours at a time every day on Facebook and other similar websites. I'm also not allowed to sit down while using the computer, which I use about half of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 241

Today, my estranged father died. No one bothered to tell me, and the only reason I found out was because his wife texted my sister. When I asked about the service, I was told I was no welcome in the state he had lived in, because I was no longer family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 354

Today, I received an e-mail telling me the job offer I got last week was rescinded. Apparently, the memes I share on my Instagram page are "tasteless" and don’t fit the company’s values. I forgot my profile is public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 1 888