Cars

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 04/02/2024 00:00

Today, I got a call from the police informing me that my car was involved in an accident outside my house. At least I can prove I was in another continent when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 78

It's just a flesh wound

By Anonymous - 03/02/2024 21:00

Today, on our way to a comic book convention, I was getting in the car in my costume when my girlfriend fell against the car door, slamming it shut on my knight helmet, which broke the hinge. We couldn’t fix it, meaning it was stuck on my head for an hour while my dad drove over with an angle grinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 152

Humblebrag?

By P…… - 31/01/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 292

You deserved it 456

Just browsing

By OneGirlsLife - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 042

You deserved it 290

They grow up so fast these days…

By Katie Howard - 29/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Louisville

Today, the car shop called me and told me an 8 year-old boy stole my car and wrecked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 81

Alexa, play "Athlete Cured" by The Fall

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 12:00 - Germany

Today, and every winter day, my neighbor lets his car warm up in the driveway, even though it’s harmful to the engine as it doesn’t lubricate properly while running in neutral. It’s also illegal in my country. He still does it for up to half an hour every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 568

You've got this!

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I took my driver's test, whereby I forgot everything, panicked, and closed my eyes while yelling, "Jesus take the wheel!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 793

Febreze yourself

By Anonymous - 21/01/2024 13:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I got kicked out of an Uber for "smelling bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 761

Effed up

By sunny_funny - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Cyprus - Nicosia

Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 353

You deserved it 1 193

That's not how that works

By fishbearpig - 17/01/2024 13:00 - Romania

Today, I got scammed of 16k by a car dealer. I went to the place, paid for the car, and paid to have it transported to my address. The car should've been delivered, the dealer vanished either way with the car. The police and bank can’t do much, and I lost my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 173

You probably can say them here

By A little help - 14/01/2024 17:00 - United States - Little Rock

Today, I went on a few websites to ask for donations for a cheap car part, due to my husband not able to work due to COVID, and we live paycheck to paycheck. I've never had so many only negative comments basically calling me a piece of crap and other words I can't say on here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 444

Pumped

By Rita - 11/01/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas at the gas station, two men pulled up to my car, opened the passenger door, grabbed my handbag and sped off. The $2000 handbag that my husband worked pretty much all last year for to gift me for Christmas, my wallet, and my diabetes medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 695

You deserved it 231

Tense

By This complicates things - 06/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my relationship with my sister-in-law has never been the greatest, so I've been trying to improve it. Any progress I may have made was destroyed when I accidentally slammed a car door shut with her hand in it. Good news: Her hand is not broken. Bad news: She absolutely refuses to believe it was an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 99

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 143

STOP! THIEF!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Stamford

Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 510

You deserved it 378

Lesson learned

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, some guy has been routinely parking in my designated spot outside my block of flats, so I thought I’d teach him a lesson by putting a clamp on his tyre. I later went outside, and not only had he cut the clamp off, he’d left me a note basically saying, "Better luck next time, asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 262

Or run?

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, I booked my car in for a service, with the intention of taking the courtesy bus to work. I got there at 8:45am, and the receptionist told me the courtesy bus was 10 minutes away. Work is 1.5km away, so I told my boss that I might be a couple of minutes late. Fifty minutes later, the bus came. I should've walked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 149

Cancel culture

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my insurance canceled my contract, claiming I hadn't paid, even though I had. I only discovered this because I backed into a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 114

Dipstick

By Mato Fox - 16/12/2023 20:00 - Slovakia

Today, I was driving through a crossroad on the main road. A driver from the right got road rage, as I didn't let him go first. He drove past me and started brake-checking me. After that he followed me over whole city to scream and curse at me in front of my flat. I didn't break any the laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 114

Get on with it!

By Anonymous - 16/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my long-term relationship of over a decade ended very badly. We didn't speak nor look at each other while I was dropping his stuff off. Of course, my car battery died, and I had to ask him for help and had to see his parents. His dad couldn't get the hood open for about ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 122

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 669

You deserved it 9 995

Stripped

By Ro. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my car was stolen. I got it back later without the engine, any of the wheels or my brand new radio and speakers. They even took my car mats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 800

You deserved it 2 575

Let's offroad!

By Anonymous - 07/12/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, my GPS led me to a "shortcut" that took me through a winding dirt road in the middle of nowhere. My car got stuck in the mud, and the tow truck driver told me I was the third person he's pulled out this week from the same "shortcut." FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 169

It's sus to us

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 435

You deserved it 4 496

At least…

By Anonymous - 27/11/2023 11:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was driving home from another long night shift at work. I live from paycheck to paycheck thanks to the current economy and can barely afford rent. To keep myself positive, I thought, "At least my car is paid off." A deer ran out in front of me and totaled my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 696

You deserved it 130

Snek

By snakeboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for God knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowingly drove it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 651

You deserved it 48 209

Vengeance is mine

By Anonymous - 22/11/2023 00:01

Today, I wouldn’t let my sister borrow my car, so she told our parents that I’m depressed and threatened to kill myself, which is a lie. My mom is on the phone to 999 trying to get me a 72-hour psychiatric hold in hospital, and every time I say it was a lie, my dad says I’m in typical denial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 104

Baby you can't drive your car

By BoyRacer - 21/11/2023 05:00

Today, I picked up my first ever brand new car. Top of the line, beautiful, can't be happier. However, trying to insure it, the company has taken my money, but not completed the deal, and therefore I'm not insured. Their customer service knows this in an online fault and I have to wait for them to refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 94

Murphy's Law

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 06:30 - Germany

Today, I've had a shitty day and everything at work went tits up. I thought it'd get better when I get home but no, I smashed my fingers with my car door and now it hurts like hell, and my shitty day had just got even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 123

Too good to be perfect

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 378

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 81

Today, I got into an argument with my boyfriend, who recently had to move away, about not calling me enough. Apparently his moving had meant that we were now taking a break, he just forgot to talk it over with me. He still wants to visit, and keep the relationship in bed alive though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 669

You deserved it 4 364

The Top

Today, I was having a chuckle at the girl who used to torment me since she’s on her fourth marriage. Then I realized she’s gotten four handsome, rich men to marry her, while I’m still hopelessly single and haven’t had a boyfriend since high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 365

Today, ever since he beat him in wrestling, my husband has been trying to prove he’s manlier than our son, proving only that he’s the most childish in the house. I had to put a stop to it after he tried to stand up to the PTSD-suffering veteran at the end of our street, and got put in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 136

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 199

You deserved it 6 636

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 210

You deserved it 5 040

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 768

You deserved it 12 467

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 954

You deserved it 7 529