Family

Solidarity

By CockroachDinner - 26/12/2022 12:00

Today, after I continued repairs on the home of a hoarder family member, guess which one of us wasn't invited to the family dinner… FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 107

Quality family time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 971

You deserved it 3 083

It's the thought that counts

By Anonymous - 24/12/2022 21:00 - Australia

Today, I left my MacBook Pro on the kitchen counter, so my mother later ran it through the dishwasher, thinking it was a “lovely apple chopping board”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 131

You deserved it 311

I like to move it move it

By sunshinexx - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I announced to my family that I was going to start playing netball with my work colleagues. They all burst into fits of laughter at the thought of me doing physical activity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 399

You deserved it 4 517

Unlucky for some

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 530

You deserved it 2 803

Mooch

By Laura - 12/12/2022 12:00

Today, my mom made a comment on how “illegal immigrants” should just come legally and do it the right way, so they “wouldn’t be illegal and mooching off American taxpayers.” This is coming from someone who married someone she didn’t even love, my ex-stepdad for a green card and citizenship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 200

THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE

By Krey85 - 11/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I had lower lumbar back surgery. I'm in horrible pain, my kids are wedged up my butt even though my husband is home, and I've heard nothing from friends or family, not even a check-in to see how it went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 157

Pure class

By fiddlercrab - 11/12/2022 12:00

Today, I spent time with some of my extended family. To give you an idea of their pedigree, I overheard a daughter ask her mom, "Why did you name me Chanté?" The mom, "After the wine!" The daughter asked, "What wine?" and her mom replied, "You know, Chianti!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 160

Projection much, Mom?

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 14:00 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my mother brought my sex life in front of an entire family gathering. I lost my virginity at 17 and when she found out she called me a whore. This time, she told the family I'd slept with 100 men by the time I was 18. I’m 40 and my body count is 10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 240

Follow up?

By Anonymous - 10/12/2022 03:00

Today, against my better judgement, I gave in and let my daughter go to the family Christmas party, due to the fact that the sister I cut contact with caught COVID and said she wouldn't be there. Guess who turned up? FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 222

More details please

By Grandma has no filter - 08/12/2022 15:00 - United States

Today, I listened to my grandma monologue about how if my uncle was born first, my mother (and consequently, I) would not exist. I then got to listen to her rant about what a terror he was. Let's just say I learned and heard some things I'd rather have not known. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 130

Truth bomb

By toomuch2process - 06/12/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out the truth about my and my siblings adoptions and why I have no contact with any extended family. Turns out our parents are half-siblings, who decided to adopt rather than risk any genetic anomalies. Their families didn’t approve of the relationship so they moved us far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 103

Gaslighting

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 08:00 - Australia

Today, I'm not going to our family Christmas party due to events last year that caused me to cut off contact with one of my sisters. My entire family is now making me out to be the villain to my 8 year-old, and trying to manipulate my decision with guilt trips. They have reduced me to tears 12 days in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 148

The King

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 02:00

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he becomes insatiably horny whenever he hears "Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis Presley. It turns out that was the song on the radio when he was losing his virginity, when he was 16, with his sister. He insists it’s not weird because their parents are half-siblings. I can’t even. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 037

You deserved it 276

Thicker than water

By Anonymous - 30/11/2022 10:00

Today, my fiancée's druggie sister turned up, but I shut the door in her face because the last time she was here £200 went missing and my floor safe had fresh scratches from someone trying and failing to pick the lock. The argument with my fiancée afterwards was so bad, she’s no longer my fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 195

You deserved it 136

Blabbermouth

By sigh - 27/11/2022 10:00 - Australia

Today, my sister-in-law went into premature labour, and we were asked to keep it quiet. My mother immediately called all her friends and relayed the whole situation in intimate detail. Yet she wonders why they don't spend time with her, and nobody tells her anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 120

Thanksgiving sucks

By Anonymous - 26/11/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, I spent Thanksgiving alone. I'm not close to my family, I'm the black sheep but my sister said she would come over. To my surprise, she ended up going to my family's', where I'm not wanted. My boyfriend went to his family's, so I spent the whole day alone. He'd even took my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 202

How did your Thanksgiving go?

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 10:00

Today, I’m going to have two Thanksgivings. One at my parents' for the first half of the day, then the other at my house. I let my boyfriend know beforehand about it, as well as my sister. She then told my mom about my plan and next thing I know, I got a phone call from mom that turned into her yelling at me for not staying all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 153

Love-hate sibling relationship

By Anonymous - 24/11/2022 06:00

Today, my obese sibling snored loudly during a TV show. I swear, if it's not anime or a violent film he likes, he just goes to sleep. But then he's up all night, eating and playing video games while I'm trying to sleep. I can't keep working like an exhausted zombie all the time but I get in trouble when if I say anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 177

Family tension

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 14:00

Today, it’s been a year since my brother-in-law started sleeping on our sofa. At first I had sympathy, but he hasn’t even been looking for a job, so when I found him wearing my robe, drinking my sherry, in my armchair, I evicted his ass. Now I’m the one sleeping on the sofa because my wife is mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 141

Comedy roast

By bad auntie! - 21/11/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I have been teaching our son to deal with bullies using peaceful conflict resolution techniques. My younger sister however thought it’d be a good idea to teach him how to “roast” his bullies back. So far he’s made three kids cry and I have to see the principal. Thanks Sis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 732

Kevin can **** himself

By How 'bout no - 20/11/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, the almost 80 year-old man who almost became my mom's stepfather is in the hospital again. This man is not only a raging alcoholic (emphasis on "raging") who by all means should not be alive, but he's also pushed away everyone who cares about him. He still expects us to drop everything for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872

You deserved it 117

Going too fast

By Anonymous - 15/11/2022 12:00

Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to get married and have kids soon. She had a fit. Apparently it's creepy and freakish for a man to want a family, and it means I'm secretly a crazy religious fundamentalist. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 150

How can I make this about me?

By I told you so - 14/11/2022 10:00

Today, after several months of warning my sister to stop drinking so many energy drinks, she is now in the hospital with potentially life-threatening heart problems. Now I have the worry that my sister will meet an early grave to add to my list of things that give me anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 184

Package deal

By Anonymous - 11/11/2022 00:00 - France

Today, my spoiled step-daughter had extra chores to do for breaking the rules. She called my wife at work, complained about the chores, then my wife called me and said that she didn't want to deal with the drama. It ended with, "Make her do something else!" WTF! She chooses her own punishment! I hate this kid, seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 258

Wait, what?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 06:00

Today, my friend got drunk with me and texted my boyfriend, saying she was in love with him and missed him. Her brother came to my house since she got caught drunk and gave a “lecture” on responsibility. I don't know what’s worse, the lecture or the fact that he’s my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 179

On the lam

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 00:00

Today, all three of my kids snuck out of a family reunion because they were bored. I was furious, until I found out my husband had also gone with them. After I was done yelling at all of them, I realised I was mostly jealous they didn’t take me with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 1 082

My little secret

By biggiejoe - 05/11/2022 10:00

Today, after I hooked up with a chick a few years ago and we ended up having a kid, we have been on and off for about 8 years. This whole time I have never met her family or her close friends. She has met every person in my family and pretty much knows all my friends. Anytime I bring this up she's defensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 397

Let me go home, for a start

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 10:00 - Thailand - Huai Khwang

Today, I'm at a company seminar on the topic "Employee Happiness." The goal is to figure how to improve happiness in our workplace. The mandatory agenda runs for 14 hours straight and requires me to be away from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 124

Nice vacation

By Anonymous - 31/10/2022 20:00 - United States - Wisconsin Dells

Today, my obnoxious bully of an aunt forced me to walk a mile to the store in the rain to buy her a lottery ticket. When I got back, she thanked me by scream-singing “When Somebody Loves You” in the most ear-rapingly atrocious caterwaul imaginable. We’re staying with her for the rest of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 158

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Awkward Love Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Music Grieving Boredom Anniversary Abuse Ironic Intimacy Alcohol Am I overreacting? Drunk Transportation AITA Parents Kids Gun control

The Top

Today, I went a girl's home for our second date. As she opened the door, she was leaving with another guy. I said, "I thought we had a date this evening?" Her response was, “Tah tah!” as she walked out the door while hanging on to his arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 90

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 332

You deserved it 6 125

The Top

Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 560

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 577

You deserved it 2 864

Today, despite having the same parents, I'm a lawyer and my brother is a redneck. He called wanting my advice, because he tried to book a prostitute online but when she turned up, she was a Latvian mail-order bride, and he wants me to fix it with my "big city law degree." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 152

You deserved it 111

Today, after a discussion, my boyfriend said, "I think it's time you found somebody better." After I gave him a look, he continued, "For me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 067

You deserved it 2 793

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 89

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 334

You deserved it 4 004