Quality family time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 971
You deserved it 3 083
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Top comments

rattusrattus 18

Sex. Cocks. Stuffing her pussy. Good old-fashioned *******. Rodgering passionately. Shagging. Intercourse. Possibly buttsex, if she was into that. Screwing. Pushing the box. Knowing each other in the Biblical fashion. In and out. Banging, boinking, bumping uglies. Smiting evil. Hanky panky. Pokey-poke. Makin' whoopee. Knocking boots. The nasty. Romp in the hay. Nookie. Making the beast with two backs. Am I making myself clear?

140 3
sugarandspice33 0

Old people are always complaining...and that's because in "her day" she actually had teeth.

129 4

Comments

THE_A_TEEN 27

More like freaked out by a horny granny.

66 3
isitinmybedroom 11

Thumb up if u like tacos

2 3
isitinmybedroom 11

Thumb up if you like tacos

1 1
mrs_bruno_mars 14

It is close to the same thing, correct? Sorry, sometimes American idioms confuse me.

1 20
sugarandspice33 0

Old people are always complaining...and that's because in "her day" she actually had teeth.

129 4
eeppiicc 8

Back in her day she also had boobs that didn't sag to her stomach

43 2
EllyMo 15

Whats between a 70 year old woman's breasts that isn't between a 20 year old woman's breasts? Her naval.

61 4
monkeysareyummy 0

But if she was complaining about the amount of "stuffing" then why would she need teeth? Teeth hurt.

3 18
n_epic_fail 14

old people, you can count on them always being toothless and horny (in no specific order).

18 3
AlaskanEskimo34 0

yea my grandma always complains about teens having sex and babies so young, but if they had a "16 and pregnant" back in the old days, she'd star in it.

22 1
lilpowers 3

Back in the old days if you weren't 16 and pregnant there was something wrong with you.

17 2
soccerguy2 11

you can't expect to be with your family and have no complaining.

42 9
choshaki 8

It's normal, my moms not even that old and she still complains. Get over it OP

10 46
AngrehPirate 0

But does your mum make sexual remarks about the things she is complaining about?

19 2
silentbutfunny 0

I can see an old skinny orange haired gramma smoking a cigarette making sexual remarks abouy stuffing. Not that hard to imagine

0 3
golfer_boi 10

Octagonal Penis clearly. Orangutan Pussy. Shall I continue?

5 1
trivel64 16

Outrageous Popcorn... don't listen to the other guy.

0 3
FMLsOhilarious 6

What is your grandmother's comment supposed to mean? I don't get it...

9 41
fancyclown 9

She was obviously talking about taxidermies.

10 16
THE_A_TEEN 27

Someone doesn't understand sexual innuendo...

23 3
wilbiepig_fml 0

She's talking about... sex. Seems obvious to me.

15 3
rattusrattus 18

Sex. Cocks. Stuffing her pussy. Good old-fashioned *******. Rodgering passionately. Shagging. Intercourse. Possibly buttsex, if she was into that. Screwing. Pushing the box. Knowing each other in the Biblical fashion. In and out. Banging, boinking, bumping uglies. Smiting evil. Hanky panky. Pokey-poke. Makin' whoopee. Knocking boots. The nasty. Romp in the hay. Nookie. Making the beast with two backs. Am I making myself clear?

140 3
FMLsOhilarious 6

#26 I understand sexual innuendo just fine. I've just never heard it put that way before. Frankly comparing stuffing to sex is sickening to me...especially around the table with family whilst having Christmas dinner.

12 28
twinny_sc 13

38, Hence the FML.

42 1
A7X_LoVeee 10

Hmm 33 I still didn't get the message.

24 3
blackstar994 5

I'm with 48. A few more and I might.

12 2
Monkeybuttcream 4

Grandma, tell us the story about the time you took on 12 cocks and won!

14 6
elk21dbm 18

U win just for actually saying "making the beast with two backs." I've only ever heard it twice

4 1
raphanne_fml 33

She is like Joey Tribbiani, we always know what they mean...

30 9
rcloca 10

Grandma still got some swag I see.

15 22
desireev 17

I've heard of S&M.. But not S&S.. Swag and Sag... Yeeeeaah!!! :D

1 7
flockz 19

"that time with your grandfather wow. talk about roasting his chestnuts in front of an open fire. sex on a bearskin rug is amazing just to let you know."

75 5
redbluegreen 40

Roasting his chestnuts? Merry Christmas children, your grandma's a sadomasochist!

37 5
ananonymousguy 0

Whoaa wtf D: haha no, the derp one. You obviously don't have to, I just only know you with that picture :P

2 3
Glidefedt 6

It's much better when theres no teeth ;)

0 2
desireev 17

Grandma... Gotta love her! :)

22 12