FML for mobile
Free

Housework

Get me out of here!

By Anonymous - 29/07/2023 22:00

Today, my mother is a hoarder and her stuff has taken over the whole house, my bedroom included. I've always felt trapped in my home, but when I can't use my closet or dresser because of her and have a messy room because of it, I feel like I can't breathe. In 3 years I'm moving out, I wish it would come faster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 117

Alexa, play "A Man Needs a Maid" by Neil Young

By Anonymous - 28/07/2023 10:00 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend after concluding we're not compatible at all. He said he knew it all along, but he thought I was "good for all the house stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 165

Flushed

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 03:00

Today, and once a week for the past three weeks, I had to tell some house guests to stop flushing things like Q-tips and tampons down my apartment's toilet. My preteen siblings? No, my 45-year-old mom and her similarly-aged boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 104

Mr Clean

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 15:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend is mad at his landlady because she hasn’t followed through yet on the new front door she promised a month ago. He, on the other hand, has neither cleaned the toilet, nor washed any dishes since he moved in. Which was… a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 181

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 15:00

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 2 686

Productive

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 22:00 - Sweden

Today, in an effort to actually be productive for once, I decided to clean out my closet. However, I ended up getting distracted by old photos, started crying over past relationships and dead pets, and didn't end up getting anything done whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 412

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 02:00

Today, my wife has been going to a "women's group" for the last couple of months. She now refuses to do anything around the house, blatantly spoils our daughter, and talks to our son like he's mentally incompetent. She insists that she's just "reclaiming her power" but it makes everyone else miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 246

Now we're cooking

By jules - 01/03/2023 12:00 - Germany

Today, I replaced the broken hot plates in my stove, only to realize that something else is broken, and it's still is not usable. I had to change it all back before I could even heat dinner. This was after I had carried the thing up and down the stairs by myself, and spent an entire afternoon cleaning it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 126

Welcome back!

By Terry - 21/02/2023 08:00 - United States - Tampa

Today, my girlfriend works for a company that cleans VRBOs, so while she went to see family for a week, I asked her coworkers to come clean while she was gone, even the owner of the company showed up, They deep-cleaned house, but when she got home I got yelled at for a dirty coffee mug on my desk. The coffee was still warm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 119

Tidy

By Jill - 23/01/2023 13:30

Today, my boyfriend taught my son to do his chores. Not real chores, but "Runescape chores" on my boyfriend's account. My son won't pick up his toys or put his shoes away, but he'll jump on the computer to grow plants or cut trees or some other stupid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 228

**** you, Susan

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 10:00

Today, I washed all the dishes that had been piling in the sink over the week, and set them in the drying rack before I left for school. I came home to see that my dad’s girlfriend had put them back into the sink, along with her dirty dishes. She told me to re-wash them. Why? “They didn’t smell clean.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 124

So similar

By StillLoveMyDogs - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to reach for a long piece of lint next to my dryer. It was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 327

You deserved it 2 397

Never enough

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 00:01

Today, I spent all day doing chores around the house, including mowing and raking the lawn, paying bills, going to the store, meal prepping, and cleaning the fridge. When I sat down to enjoy some well-earned games, my girlfriend sighed and asked if I ever planned to contribute anything to our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 321

You deserved it 162

Ain't no rest for the wicked

By anon - 04/09/2022 07:00

Today, I was diagnosed with COVID, and given a week off work to quarantine. When I sat down on the sofa, my girlfriend slapped the remote out of my hand and handed me a list of chores, "to do while you're lazing around on vacation." It's four pages long. Double sided. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 303

Projection

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 04:00

Today, I was getting ready to go pick up a few things for much-needed projects around the house, when I heard my husband yelling from the basement. The lawnmower had kicked a rock through the expensive sliding glass door we just finished paying off. The rattling refrigerator may have to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 927

You deserved it 137

Never enough

By Anonymous - 13/08/2022 06:00

Today, after weeks of my girlfriend complaining that I don't help with the chores, I secretly took a day off work to deal with some that were piling up. When she got home, all she could do was complain about how I hadn't done more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 281

Oh, by the way…

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Naples

Today, my mom called and casually let me know she'd wrecked my iPad after putting it in the dryer with my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 359

You deserved it 4 778

Lint kills

By Anonymous - 13/07/2022 00:00

Today, after I was away for a couple of days, my wife told me she’s been doing laundry while I was gone. I'd reminded her to clean out the lint catcher because it might catch fire. I came home to a new dryer and a smoke damaged house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 110

Robby Krieger rubbing salt into the wound again

By No time to wallow in the fire - 08/07/2022 16:00

Today, I had to stay at a friend's house because my dryer caught fire. My friend decided to start cleaning, so he put on his music playlist. By sheer coincidence, the first song that played was "Light My Fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 153

The cheek of some people

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 04:00

Today, I stayed at my mate's house over the weekend, but his mother threw me out, saying I’m was taking advantage of her hospitality. First, it’s her son's house, so it’s not even her hospitality, but also I was helping redecorate the whole house for free, so how was I taking advantage? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 100

Gender bending

By DaddyDoesn'tLoveMe - 16/05/2022 22:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at age thirty, my dad gave me the first compliment he's ever given me: "Remember to wash the pan out. Oh, and good job doing your chores and your mother's today." And everyone wonders why it took until last year for me to figure out I'm the same gender as this shitbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620

You deserved it 391

Thanks for the memories

By precious memories - 11/05/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I went over to my mom’s place to attempt to help her clean up, as she’s a hoarder. I was devastated to see that in order to make room for all the unnecessary new crap she buys, she stored all of our childhood toys, photos and the like outside in uncovered bins. It’s all completely ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 127

Manchild

By Guyinstructor - 06/05/2022 18:00

Today, and ever since my boyfriend moved in, I've learned just how much his mother did everything for him and never taught him how to adult. In the last month I've had to show him how to cook, clean the house, do laundry and drying, use the vacuum, pay household bills, and he still moans its too hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 228

Get your act together

By MistressMagi - 28/04/2022 22:00

Today, my parents decided that because my sister never cleans the bathroom, every time she doesn’t, she and I BOTH have to pay $100 a week for a maid. I can’t afford to move out, and with this, I never will. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 161

Clean

By Anonymous - 22/04/2022 01:30 - India - Hyderabad

Today, in the entire half-hour since my mother-in-law reached our home, she's inspected and criticised every aspect of our home, despite things being spot clean. And sermoned me non stop on how to "live". My husband still wonders why I don't want her visiting. It"s going to be a long two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 111

Profiteering

By Awesome. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom admitted that she always makes me put away the dishes because my obsessive compulsive tendencies force me to arrange the glasses and silverware by size, just the way she likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 5 161

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 262

Bad DIY FML

By Liah - 28/03/2022 10:00

Today, I was rearranging the cabinets above the washer and dryer, and the whole thing fell down on top of the washer. I had just put my clothes in the washing machine too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 98

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 108

Nintendon't

By Momfail - 27/02/2022 06:00

Today, I had my son do some chores around the house. I was fairly proud of him for doing it himself, until he told me he accidentally washed his Nintendo in his sheets, and now it doesn’t work. I can’t afford a new one and he now refuses to do chores because, “I did and look what happened!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 228

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Skincare Awkward Intimacy Weird Sex Technology Anxiety Shopping Money Scams Insurance Friends Love Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Farts Relatable Family My ex Kids Parents Death Cops Teenagers Bosses Restaurants Annoying Babysitter

The Top

Today, I rubbed my heel raw with a new shoe, so I put a bandaid on and went to the pool. A few minutes later, I noticed the bandaid floating close to me. I'm not an ass so I quickly fished it out and put in the pocket of my swimming trunks. Later, I went to shower and noticed that my bandaid was still on my heel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 191

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 69

The Top

Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 964

You deserved it 2 440

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 278

You deserved it 1 372

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 130

Today, when I left for work, my girlfriend had gorgeous, very long (down to her hips), dark red hair. When I came home from work, her head was shaved. I asked her why she did it, and all she said was, "I just got tired of taking care of it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 370

Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 214

You deserved it 1 996

Today, I got lost searching for an apartment in a huge complex. A hysterical woman started screaming that I didn’t belong there, and that she was calling the police. She stood behind my car so I couldn’t leave. I’m a pizza delivery driver, in full uniform and with the company emblem on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 164